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Image of the quote is loading... SaveSave The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof? - Quote by Steven Wright

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?

Steven Wright
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I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
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So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.
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Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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