Shit Quotes

Your shit is for you, my shit is for me - Understand?

Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ("Tolerance zero")

Erik Pevernagie

He has a mouth, lord," Gerbruht said."I envy him," I said."Envy him, lord?""Most of us have to lower our trews to shit.

Bernard Cornwell

The basic formula of life... SURVIVE. EAT. SHIT. FUCK. BUY A HOUSE and DIE. It's all been scripted. But there's no need to see the second act. You already know how the play ends, don't you?

Andrew Armacost

Everything changed after AIDS,” Dr. Molnár had just explained to him. “From then on, blood was more dangerous than shit.

David Cronenberg

We should fall in love. Love each other enough to shit at the same time on the same toilet.

Darnell Lamont Walker

They say it came from Africa, carried in the screams of the enslaved; that it was the death bane of the Tainos, uttered just as one world perished and another began; that it was a demon drawn into Creation through the nightmare door that was cracked open in the Antilles. Fukú americanus, or more colloquially, fukú - generally a curse or doom of some kind; specifically the Curse and the Doom of the New World. No matter what its name or provenance, it is believed that the arrival of Europeans on Hispaniola unleashed fukú on the world, and we've all been in the shit ever since.

Junot Díaz

Here is a nice tip, safe the shit which now you are saying for later one day you will need it.

Deyth Banger

Don't say something which isn't me... I am the Devil and I don't inspire of doing this shit!

Deyth Banger

If you’re looking for fast driving there’s a dragway in the southwestern part of the county. It opens next week.”“Do you race there?” he asks.“Yes.” And I plan on spending a lot of time there over the next six weeks.“Isaiah.” Beth attempts to step in between us, but Logan angles himself so that she can’t. “That’s not why I brought him here.”An insane glint strikes the guy’s eyes and all of a sudden, I feel a connection to him. A twitch of his lips shows he might be my kind of crazy. “How fast do the cars there go?”“Some guys hit speeds of 120 mph in an eighth mile.”“No!” Beth stomps her foot. “No. I promised Ryan nothing crazy would happen. Logan, this is not why I brought you here.”“Have you hit those speeds?” He swats his hand at Beth as if she’s a fly, earning my respect. Most guys would be terrified of having their balls ripped off and handed to them for dismissing Beth like that.“Not driving my car, I haven’t,” I answer honestly. But I hope to with Rachel’s car, and with mine, after a few modifications. “Speed can be bought. Just depends on how much you want to spend.”Logan offers his hand. “I’m Logan.”“Isaiah,” I say as we shake.“Shit,” mumbles Beth.

Katie McGarry

I don't know what happened, but I do know this. It's not going anywhere. When you light up it waits for you to come down. You have to confront whatever's bothering you and look it straight in the eye. It's alright to forgive yourself, and it's okay to fight back, because if you don't kick the shit out of it, then it kicks you. It's a dog world, but you can control it, if you want to. A lot of people are going to try to make you feel like shit, but that doesn't mean you are. You are who you decide to be. I hope you're the kind of person that fights, because that's the only way to win.

E.M. Youman

My stomach hurts, but if it's guilt or impacted stool, I can't tell. Either way, I'm so full of shit.

Chuck Palahniuk

Sim sighed. "like Ross always said: Wish in one hand,shit in the other,and see which hand fills up first.

Keith Gray

I forget your name," I said."Most people spew shit from their arse," he retorted, "you manage it with your mouth.""Your mother gave birth through her arse," I said, "and you still reek of her shit.

Bernard Cornwell

I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.

Sol Luckman

As much deeper you go as much more shit you find down there. But what happens with you?

Deyth Banger

Very clever but dumb at shoothing... dumb as a person but clever at shooting. That's LOGIC!

Deyth Banger

Now he sat alone; on a disabled starship about fifty years from anywhere on conversion drive – assuming he still had that. Insurance was a good thing – a very good thing - but it wasn’t going to help him much out here. The highlight of his afternoon was going to be staring at the blinking bridge instrumentation – which just happened to be running on the emergency batteries and actually blinking, like for real. Moreover, since his mutinous crew had made off with the Short Shit, the ships only shuttle, he was facing quite a problem

Christina Engela

50 Zen, read shit.... BECOME MASTER!

Deyth Banger

Get me your manager.” Dove held her head high and tried to seem older and more self-assured. The teenager barely registered her request. “Do it now. My friend here is about to crap his pants. Do you want to smell it?” Dove slapped her hands down on the counter, snapping the life into the girl. “Do you want to smell his shit?

Debra Anastasia

I respect the shit out of you.

Brian Michael Bendis

He smiled and as his lips parted, little bits of solid waste fell from them. Hellelujah, we can only be what we are, I thought and wondered if I was as repulsive to him as he was to me. I don't think so, because even though he literally wore a shit-eating grin, I sensed he was genuinely happy to see me

R.E. Vance

Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette

Josh Stern

If you look at the evolution of the brain, the logic centers, they were growing at the same time as the creative centers were expanding. And that creates this really potent illusion that you’re not just a bag of chemicals reacting to shit. Which is what you are.

Tim Cannon

If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit

Doug Stanhope

Yeah, episodic doesn't work. Your coolest character needs something big and meaningful to do. Otherwise, well, it's just narrative shit.

Don Roff

I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.

Steven Pressfield

Seropusly, why do flies line up in the sky every time someone lies? Hovering over they long to take the shit out from where It belongs so They compete to eat it alive.

Ana Claudia Antunes

Humans listen to their hearts so fucking loud that they mute their dumbass brains.

The Fart Blast

If you hate it... you close it!If you can't do it... you don't do it...!...Don't try from shit to make gold!

Deyth Banger

One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!!The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!

Jim Lawrence

Sometimes I’m irrational, I know I am, but even irrational thought feels very, very real when you’re in the middle of shit.

Kim Holden

Plans change, Iktomi said. Got a plan that doesn’t require explosives.Are you confident in that? Mangas asked.I’m a god, Iktomi replied. I’m always confident.I’m a human, Mangas thought, and we know shit happens.

Brandon Nolta

... If I wanna shit I am going to buy it from the shop... what I need now is a friend on which I can count on... you know the drill.

Deyth Banger

You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.''''Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,'' Teresa replied. ''Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit.

Maggie Stiefvater

I don't see anything other than pretensions and low mentality in women who make a man run after a hole that would soon be inhabited by termites and worms.

Michael Bassey Johnson

You're a shit cake with cum for whipped cream and dynamite for candles.

Ahmed Mostafa

Probably in your mind your shit is wise, but so far what I hear for me doesn't sound as a wise.

Deyth Banger

Folks love fantasy. Beasts the shit outta reality and day of the week.

Garth Ennis

Always follow your brain, because your heart is dumb as shit

Steve Shook

The shield wall reeks of shit, and all a man wants is to be home, to be anywhere but on this field that prepares for battle, but none of us will turn and run or else we will be despised for ever. We pretend we want to be there, and when the wall at last advances, step by step, and the heart is thumping fast as a bird’s wing beating, the world seems unreal.

Bernard Cornwell

Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We got to see a Corsair ship up close – all matt black, no markings, no lights – and practically invisible out here in the dark! What a sight to behold! Most people don’t get to see those bastards up close. That is, for very long! Anyways, the ship was just floating there, no sign of life. Our hails weren’t being answered, and so we assumed the ship was dead in space. Captain Mulligan, gods-rest-his-soul, told me to form a boarding party of security and medics from the sickbay and that we were going over there. We weren’t a military ship, and we’re not Star Marines, so we were lightly armed and quite nervous. I mean, this wasn’t just some of my security section being called out to break up a fight at one of the bars on the promenade, this was serious life-and-death shit! So I said ‘okay’, and told my assistant supervisor, Lisa Garfner, to get them all together. Seven of us shifted over to the other ship with the transmatter (you still use those things, I take it?) not knowing what to expect. It could’ve been anything… and it was. It was crazy.

Christina Engela

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

Anthony Liccione

A dung beetle couple in love constantly proves that you still can be in love living on shit.

Munia Khan

You will not say how you are haunted by the faces of the men you killed, how in their last gasp of life they sought your pity and you had none. You will not speak of the boys who died screaming for their mothers while you twisted a blade in their guts and snarled your scorn into their ears. You will not confess that you wake in the night, covered in sweat, heart hammering, shrinking from the memories. You will not talk of that, because that is the horror, and the horror is held in the heart’s hoard, a secret, and to admit it is to admit fear, and we are warriors.We do not fear. We strut. We go to battle like heroes. We stink of shit.

Bernard Cornwell

What people these days watch!?...Nothing useful!Science proofs that people watch shit over and over and over and over and over and over.

Deyth Banger

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.

Bill Bryson

What people these days watch!?...Nothing useful!Science proofs that people watch shit over and over and over and over and over and over.

Deyth Banger

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.

Bill Bryson

Sometimes I act like I have my shit together more than I do. Sometimes I act like I don’t have my shit together as much as I do. I’m done acting. I’d rather just be okay with however together my shit is at the time, and still do my best to show up, as I am.

Scott Stabile

I wonder either their God has turned old, sick or died, because even the religious people no more believe in shit.

M.F. Moonzajer

Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God's image. Either/or: either man was created in God's image - and has intestines! - or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus "ate and drank, but did not defecate."Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man's crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man.

Milan Kundera

God's grace is not defined as God being forgiving to us even though we sin. Grace is when God is a source of wholeness, which makes up for my failings. My failings hurt me and others and even the planet, and God's grace to me is that my brokenness is not the final word ... it's that God makes beautiful things out of even my own shit. Grace isn't about God creating humans and flawed beings and then acting all hurt when we inevitably fail and then stepping in like the hero to grant us grace - like saying, "Oh, it's OK, I'll be the good guy and forgive you." It's God saying, "I love the world too much to let your sin define you and be the final word. I am a God who makes all things new.

Nadia Bolz-Weber

It's easy to talk big, but the important thing is whether or not you clean up the shit.

Haruki Murakami

When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet.

Anthony T.Hincks

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Mel Brooks

Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.

Colleen Hoover

Shit Quotes

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