Humour Quotes

If I have to face the end of human existence, I want to look totally smoking when it happens. Now shut the hell up.

Angeline Trevena

My love for Neo-Tokyo is a bulbous massof post-human organic circuitry.Cyperpunk is my mother tongue.My love is a man-machine interface gun.

Gossip till the cows come home.

The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing something.

Give me a fucking pre-med you fuckers, I'm a personal friend of Sir Lancelot Spratt.

Vivian Mackerrell

He was a Parisian,’ he said. ‘You can never be sure what Parisians believe in – beyond Paris of course.

Ben Aaronovitch

My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.

Stephen Colbert

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

Stephen Colbert

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.

Everywhere that we looked, were objects & artifacts reminiscent of a bygone age. of war & destruction, of mankind's determination to rule his neighbour, to prove how mighty he and his people are, yet a romance of days past that I am drawn to like a soul lost and hearing his lovers cries to him

Xav sprinkled olive oil on his lettuce. 'Lola was very particular that it all had to fit properly.' 'Lola?' squeaked Diamond. I wanted to warn her not to rise to the bait Xav was dangling in front of her but it was too late. Xav added some Parmesan and pepper. 'Suspicious, Diamond? You should be. This is a bachelor party I'm organizing, not a school outing, and it is going to tick all of Trace's boxes. Lola is either a very efficient water sports instructor or an exotic dancing girl; I'll leave it your imagination.' I rolled my eyes at Diamond. 'Myabe she's both. I mean the guys will really go for that, I guess. Don't worry,Di, Luigi and his crew will not disappoint us girls.' Luigi was in fact Contessa Nicoletta's little bespectacled chef with whom I had been consulting about the menu for Friday, but the Benedicts weren't to know that. 'He has promised to provide something suitably spicy for our tastes.

Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

honeya

Never follow the crowd....Until and unless you're crossing the road...

He who laughs lasts.

Anonymous

We are all here for a spell get all the good laughs you can.

No one is more profoundly sad than he who laughs too much.

Jean Paul Richter

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Friedrich Nietzsche

One loses so many laughs by not laughing at oneself.

Sara Jeannette Duncan

You can pretend to be serious but you can't pretend to be witty.

Charles Dickens' creation of Mr. Pickwick did more for the elevation of the human race - I say it in all seriousness - than Cardinal Newman's Lead Kindly Light Amid the Encircling Gloom. Newman only cried out for light in the gloom of a sad world. Dickens gave it.

Stephen Leacock

The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.

Robertson Davies

A comedian is a fellow who finds other comedians too humorous to mention.

If it's sanity you're after There's no recipe like Laughter. Laugh it off.

Henry Rutherford Elliot

Humour is an affirmation of dignity a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy is tragedy - plus time.

Caricature: putting the face of a joke upon the body of a truth.

The ability to laugh at life is right at the top with love and communication in the hierarchy of our needs. Humour has much to do with pain it exaggerates the anxieties and absurdities we feel so that we gain distance and through laughter relief.

He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh.

The Koran

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

You encourage a comic man too much and he gets silly.

Stephen Leacock

Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.

Stephen Leacock

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.

Anonymous

If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist - I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it never in the tongue Of him that makes it.

William Shakespeare

Nonsense is an assertion of man's spiritual freedom in spite of all the oppressions of circumstance.

Humour is just another defence against the universe.

The great humorist forgets himself in his delighted contemplation of other people.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

The teller of a mirthful tale has latitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.

He that jokes confesses.

Italian proverb

There are things of deadly earnest that can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke.

Humour is the only test of gravity and gravity of humour for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Aristotle

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.

The best definition of humour I know is: humour may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life and the artistic expression thereof. I think this is the best I know because I wrote it myself.

Stephen Leacock

A humorist is a man who feels bad but who feels good about it.

Humour plays close to the big hot fire which is the truth and the reader feels the heat.

E B White

Wit is the only wall Between us and the dark.

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

Mirthfulness is in the mind and you cannot get it out. It is just as good in its place as conscience or veneration.

Henry Ward Beecher

Novelist Peter de Vries like Adlai Stevenson and Mark Twain has suffered from the American assumption that anyone with a sense of humour is not to be taken seriously.

Humour can be dissected as a frog can but the thing dies in the process.

E B White

Humour is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.

Christian Morgenstern

The total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.

Alfred North Whitehead

Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.

Humour is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention. But it has no persuasive value at all.

J. K. Galbraith

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