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hobos’ (a slang term that combines the words ‘hope’ and ‘bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse’)

Patton Oswalt
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Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
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If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it would mean that I suck as a person.
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I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.
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People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
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I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes.
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