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The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I'd make the same mistakes only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead
When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young.
Anonymous
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Grade Allen
When wealth is lost nothing is lost When health is lost something is lost When character is lost all is lost!
Anonymous
I know lots more old drunks than old doctors.
Joe E. Lewis
No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Anonymous
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.
Anonymous
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason - there's a reason.
Molly McGee
In the game of life nothing is less important than the score at half time.
Anonymous
Retirement must be wonderful. I mean you can suck in your stomach for only so long.
Burt Reynolds
Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right.
Woody Allen
Sex is like money only too much is enough.
John Updike
The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut.
Anonymous
The rich can be "eccentric " the poor have to be considered "nuts."
Anonymous
Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf
Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want to hire you, and a witch is what they call you when they're getting ready to run you out of town.
Barbara Hambly
Anything can happen in love, war and South Inidan movies.
Jennifer Bernard
Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.
Bobby Darnell
State your point. If the opposite party doesn't agree, state it harder- with a punch.
Jennifer Bernard
Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing.
Jincy Willett
This sentence consists of eleven words, twenty-three syllables and seventy-four letters.
Charles Pearson
But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - "Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.
Jasper Fforde
Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler.""I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder.
James Thurber
Your brother Jaime keeps losing battles. He gave Sansa an angry look, as if it were her fault. He’s been taken by the Starks and we’ve lost Riverrun and now her stupid brother is calling himself a king.The dwarf smiled crookedly. “All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days.
George R.R. Martin
Kevin", his father began, "I've been thinking about it – I guess I was kind of carried away. It's just that I've waited so long for my old school to make it to the Regionals... I suppose I was living it vicariously through you. Keith says you're not going to fail, after all. Is that right?""Looks like I'll make it. I know it's hard to believe...""Yes, it is. I was hoping you could get a football scholarship, you know. Something to waive the entrance requirements, because I don't know what college would take you-""Yeah. Thanks a lot Dad," Kevin said sarcastically. He already knew what his father thought of him and didn't need to be reminded yet again."Oh, come on. You know perfectly well that you're too stupid to-""That's not what my boyfriend says. Oh, by the way, Dad – I'm a faggot. Did I mention that?""... Kevin – get your stuff, and get out.""Gladly.
Failte
One of the great advantages ofhaving a library,your eminence,is that it is full of books.
Michael Hirst
(…) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.
Keary Taylor
Forgive me. It was stupid of me to think you might need company, when clearly all you required was that decanter.”“It was not stupid. It was very kind. Quite soft, actually. A very warm, womanly gesture. I am touched.” He smiled softly. “However, if you truly want to help, if you really want to distract me, there are better ways. When I saw that dress, I dared hope you had realized that.
Madeline Hunter
All the same, we should excuse ourselves," Vergil said. "Although I am wondering if the meeting was already well concluded when we intruded." He gave Nathaniel a deep look on the last sentence that made Charlotte's caution prickle. She saw the big brother in him, thinking that a private chat with this man was in order.Bianca still had not picked up the cue. "You are making plans regarding the petitions?""I trust that a petition came up at some point in the visit," Vergil said dryly. "Correct, Knightridge?"Charlotte wanted to die. "Indeed one did," she said. "Mr. Knightridge is proving to be a great help in the cause."Bianca beamed. "I always knew that the two of you would find common ground in something.""Yes, we have discovered that we think alike in one small area," Nathaniel agreed.Charlotte wanted to hit him."Indeed," Vergil muttered.
Madeline Hunter
Actors," he says, "should only be superficial on the surface.
Johnny Rich
This is unacceptable! We’re English, damn it! We know how to build things where they shouldn't be! - Governor Dewar
MJL Evans and GM O'Connor
She’s like a cross between an onion and donkey,” Farah said.“Why?” Jason and Connor asked simultaneously.“Cause she’s a piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye.” Farah laughed.
Mark A. Cooper
He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.
James Dashner
He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.
Derek Landy
My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend torepeat them.
Lisa Kleypas
Mistresses, have you ever noticed that when we disagree with a male- I hesitate to say 'man'- or find ourselves in a position over males, the first comment they make is always about our reputations or our monthlies?
Tamora Pierce
Think of yourselves as pearls. We, sitting in our rows, eyes down, we make her salivate morally. We are hers to define, we must suffer her adjectives. I think about pearls. Pearls are congealed oyster spit.
Margaret Atwood
What are you - Secret Service?''If I were, I wouldn't admit it.''And you're not admitting it, I notice.
Robert Goddard
Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.
James Dashner
Pearls are congealed oyster spit.
Margaret Atwood
Never stick your tongue out at someone you can't lick.
Sid Bolon
He could be so charming and irreverent and witty, and then-bam!-a switch flipped and he reverted right back to the cocky asshole everyone reported him to be.
Lauren Weisberger
There was a few seconds' pause. Then Amit said: I meant, what were you thinking just now.When? said Lata.When you were looking at Pran and Savita. Over the pudding.Oh.Well, what?I can't remember, said Lata with a smile.Amit laughed.Why are you laughing? asked LataI like making you feel uncomfortable, I suppose.Oh. Why?--Or happy--or puzzled--just to see your change of mood. It's such fun. I pity you!Why? said Lata, startled.Because you'll never know what a pleasure it is to be in your company. Do stop talking like that, said Lata. Ma will come in any minute.You're quite right. In that case: Will you marry me?Lata dropped her cup. It fell to the floor and broke. She looked at the broken pieces--luckily, it has been empty--and then at Amit.Quick! said Amit. Before they come running to see what's happened. Say yes.Lata had knelt down; she was gathering he bits of the cup together and placing them on the delicately patterned blue-and-gold saucer.Amit joined her on the floor. Her face was only a few inches away from his, but her mind appeared to be somewhere else. he wanted to kiss her but he sensed that there was no question of it. One by one she picked up the shards of china.Was it a family heirloom? asked Amit.What? I'm sorry--said Lata, snapped out of her trance by the words. Well, I suppose I'll have to wait. I was hoping that by springing it on you like that I'd surprise you into agreeing......Do stop being idotic, Amit, said Lata. You're so brilliant, do you have to be so stupid as well? I should only take you seriously in black and white.And in sickness and health.Lata laughed: For better and for worse, she added.
Vikram Seth
'Venti caramel macchiato, please,' he said. 'Hold the snobbery.' The barista laughed and hit buttons on his register. 'You sure? We're having a sale on social mobility. The longer your coffee order takes to place, the more you have to pay.' 'Perfect. Reverse consumerism.'
S.W. Vaughn
Remember what you won't get if you don't mind," her grandfather remarked.
Flannery O'Connor
Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.
Rucy Ban
The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.
Gail Carriger
Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.
Scott Lynch
It was the day he learned that smart, witty girls were brighter than sunlight.
Olivia Fuller
At least as coherent as the Gettysburg Address backwards in Albanian, anyway.
Norman Spinrad
When we reached the lobby outside the office, moving like a pair of power walkers--no running in the halls of Green Pastures because there was too much chance of knocking over one of the many ethereal, artistic types wandering around in hip glasses with the wrong prescription... (39)
Susan Juby
He things we think he's a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn't know we know he's a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really he's secretly working for them. Dexter, how's your brain?""Hurting.
Derek Landy
Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.
Derek Landy
Try - Takes the infinitive: "try to mend it," not "try and mend it." Students of the language will argue that 'try and' has won through and become idiom. Indeed it has, and it is relaxed and acceptable. But 'try to' is precise, and when you are writing formal prose, try and write 'try to.
William Strunk Jr.
He looked at Ghastly. "Thoughts?""I want to kill Sanguine," was the first thing Ghastly said. "And I want to do it slowly, in front of a lot of people. Using a hammer."Skulduggery nodded. "Very healthy.
Derek Landy
The door handle turned. Someone knocked, and a man's voice called, "Uh, hello?"Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, looked back at the others, looked at Skulduggery again."Hello," Skulduggery said, speaking loudly to be heard over the alarm. "Hi," said the man. "The door's locked.""Is it?""Yes.""That's funny" said Skulduggery. "Hold on a moment." He reached out, jiggled the handle a few times, then stepped back. "Yes, it's locked. You wouldn't happen to have the key, would you?"There was a delay in response from the other side. "I'm sorry," the man called, "Who am I speaking
Derek Landy
As it 'appens, I am Arthur's right-hand man," said Suzy. "Or left-hand girl, I can't remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least the thumb and the little finger. I mean, I'm his top General, and all. So if I say you're in, you're in.
Garth Nix
There it was: a full confession. Sherlock Holmes had done it again, and as I marveled at my devastating powers of deduction, I wished there had been two of me so I could have patted myself on the back. I know it sounds arrogant, but how often does one achieve a mental triumph of that magnitude? After listening to her speak just two words, I had nailed the whole bloody thing. If Watson had been there, he would have been shaking his head and muttering under his breath.
Paul Auster
Nevermind nomenclatures, boy! What a serendipitous situation this is!
T.T. Faulkner
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