Wit Quotes

Wit is the salt of conversation not the food.

William Hazlitt

Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things which differ and the difference of things which are alike.

Madame de Stael

Melancholy men are of all others the most witty.

Aristotle

If you want to be witty work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

Stendhal

The well of true wit is truth itself.

George Meredith

A brilliant epigram is a solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.

Lionel Strachey

What is perfectly true is perfectly witty.

La Rochefoucauld

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

True wit is Nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought but ne'er so well express'd.

A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

Jean de La Bruyère

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.

Anonymous

What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole Its body brevity and wit its soul.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Brevity is the soul of wit.

William Shakespeare

Belief in form but disbelief in content - that's what makes an aphorism charming.

Friedrich Nietzsche

At their wits' end.

Bible

Avoid witticisms at the expense of Others.

True wit is nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought but ne'er so well expressed.

Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation.

William Shakespeare

If it's me against 48 I feel sorry for the 48.

Margaret Thatcher

If the camel once gets his nose in a tent his body will soon follow.

Saudi Arabian proverb

If you laid every economist in the country end to end you would still not reach a conclusion.

Salvadore Nasello

Irrevocable as a haircut.

Lynwood L. Giacomini

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The banalities of a great man pass for wit.

Alexander Chase

The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of himself.

Too caustic? To hell with cost we'll make the picture anyhow. Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg. We have all passed a lot of water since then.

When I appear in public people expect me to neigh grind my teeth paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy.

Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.

Rex Beach

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

You can tell a really wonderful quote by the fact that it's attributed to a whole raft of wits.

Jordan, there isn't a straight woman or gay man alive who wouldn't drop everything to have dinner with you. I've been in this business for all of my life, and I know the difference between people who pretend to like you to get ahead, and people who are actually interested in getting to know you. Patrick wants to get to know you. Preferably naked, but that’s up to you.” “I can’t wait until you’re old enough to be senile and start saying these things in public.” “I’m very lucky to have such a loving son.

Matthew Haldeman-Time

Magda was reading a book by a Trappist, in a better mood, and I was sitting on the edge of the bed, fingering my useless map.

You want me to invite him to dinner.” “I want you to invite him to dinner,” she agreed. “You know,” he said, “most gay men don’t have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives.” “That’s probably true,” she said. “You’re one of the lucky ones.

Matthew Haldeman-Time

How do you feel about going on a date with me? I'm abroad for another two weeks; you've got plenty of time to prepare yourself. It will be the best night of your life, of course.

Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.

I am back in London in a couple of days and looking forward to Sunday. Here is what we are doing. 1. Going to see my favourite mad transgender folk singer at the Roundhouse. 2. Then I am going to feed you tapas in a little place by Mornington Crescent. 3. Then we will go home in opposite directions and I will stare at my silent phone for weeks, wondering what happened. Or we will go for a dirty hump on Primrose Hill. Or maybe we will just have an awkward kiss/hug loaded with the promise of more next time.

Wit defies deathbut death defines wit

She was widely read enough to appreciate my literary wit but not so widely read that she knew my sources. I like that in a woman.

I am a master of foolhardy plans.

Megan Whalen Turner

We both smile at the classic misunderstanding. It’s all so cliché-ridden, it’s embarrassing. I wish our story could have some more original twists and turns. Maybe one of us will turn into a vampire or something.

I can't believe you just did that! Are you crazy?"I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Why do people keep asking me that?"He turned to stare at me, his eyes worried. "Who else keeps asking you that? Are any of them doctors?

Janette Rallison

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight.

Jonathan Stroud

Well, well," said he, "do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, I will take you to a review at the end of them.

Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence.

Christopher Hitchens

You judge very properly, and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?

I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman.

You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite.

JACK.I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.ALGERNON.We have.JACK.I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about?ALGERNON.The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course.JACK.What fools!

Hyperbolic statements will be the death of us all

William McGregor Robson

I didn't cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.

Well, I can throw a mean comeback, so there's that. I will crush them on wit.

It is the curse of the competent―not to be called upon.

I shall always inspire many hearts in timeless moments.

Sometimes you've to be clever than a coyote to out wit the devil.

Billy S VanOrsdol

And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a-- for having just before threatened to kick his; for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.

The important thing to remember is not to forget

Benny Bellamacina

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

Friedrich Nietzsche

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