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I hate parties.And a wedding is the biggest party of all.All the guests arrived and Orpheus is taking a shower.He's always taking a shower when the guests arrive so he doesn't have to greet them.Then I have to greet them.A wedding is for daughters and fathers. The mothers all dress up, trying to look like young women. But a wedding is for a father and daughter. They stop being married to each other on that day.I always thought there would be more interesting people at my wedding.
Sarah Ruhl
Comparing marriage to football is no insult. I come from the South where football is sacred. I would never belittle marriage by saying it is like soccer, bowling, or playing bridge, never. Those images would never work, only football is passionate enough to be compared to marriage. In other sports, players walk onto the field, in football they run onto the field, in high school ripping through some paper, in college (for those who are fortunate enough) they touch the rock and run down the hill onto the field in the middle of the band. In other sports, fans cheer, in football they scream. In other sports, players ‘high five’, in football they chest, smash shoulder pads, and pat your rear. Football is a passionate sport, and marriage is about passion.tIn football, two teams send players onto the field to determine which athletes will win and which will lose, in marriage two families send their representatives forward to see which family will survive and which family will be lost into oblivion with their traditions, patterns, and values lost and forgotten. Preparing for this struggle for survival, the bride and groom are each set up. Each has been led to believe that their family’s patterns are all ‘normal,’ and anyone who differs is dense, naïve, or stupid because, no matter what the issue, the way their family has always done it is the ‘right’ way. For the premarital bride and groom in their twenties, as soon as they say, “I do,” these ‘right’ ways of doing things are about to collide like two three hundred and fifty pound linemen at the hiking of the ball. From “I do” forward, if not before, every decision, every action, every goal will be like the line of scrimmage. Where will the family patterns collide?In the kitchen. Here the new couple will be faced with the difficult decision of “Where do the cereal bowls go?” Likely, one family’s is high, and the others is low. Where will they go now? In the bathroom. The bathroom is a battleground unmatched in the potential conflicts. Will the toilet paper roll over the top or underneath? Will the acceptable residing position for the lid be up or down? And, of course, what about the toothpaste? Squeeze it from the middle or the end? But the skirmishes don’t stop in the rooms of the house, they are not only locational they are seasonal. The classic battles come home for the holidays. Thanksgiving. Which family will they spend the noon meal with and which family, if close enough, will have to wait until the nighttime meal, or just dessert if at all? Christmas. Whose home will they visit first, if at all? How much money will they spend on gifts for his family? for hers? Then comes for many couples an even bigger challenge – children of their own! At the wedding, many couples take two candles and light just one often extinguishing their candle as a sign of devotion. The image is Biblical. The Bible is quoted a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. What few prepare them for is the upcoming struggle, the conflict over the unanswered question: the two shall become one, but which one? Two families, two patterns, two ways of doing things, which family’s patterns will survive to play another day, in another generation, and which will be lost forever? Let the games begin.
David W. Jones
I always thought there would be more interesting people at my wedding.
Sarah Ruhl
Better be a desperate single with many options than a desperate married with no option.
Amen Muffler
Seriously, why was it tradition to stand when the bride came in? It blocked her from seeing her groom, who was the only reason she was there in the first place.
K.R. Grace
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
Groucho Marx
He did that slow perusal thing with his eyes that guys did when they wanted a girl to know they liked what they saw. A slow smile curved his lips. “Yep.”She recognized that look. She may have been out of the dating game for far too long, but she still understood the process. What she didn’t know was how to respond.
Tami Lund
If I propose to myself and myself says yes, I get to have the cake, right? I love me, so I’m thinking 12 tiers.
Michelle M. Pillow
I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love— or to get on your partner’s health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.
Jen Kirkman
Just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean that you should!
Bill Collins
Just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean that you sh
Bill Collins
She kept reminding me she was at a wedding, which didn’t really help my emotional state, if you know what I mean.
Hilary Grossman
Katie, honey, you need a date for your sister’s wedding.”“I had a date, Mom. He’s marrying the bride.
Susan Mallery
Better be a desperate single with many options than a sad married with no option.
Amen Muffler
Congratulations, everyone," I announce as I open the door to Noam's study. "You've finally broken Meira, the crazy, orphaned soldier-girl. She's snapped, all thanks to the mention of floral arrangements.
Sara Raasch
There's something you need to know," he said.Her own breath came out loud and uneven. He was entirely in her personal space, but she'd given him enough power as it was. She wouldn't back away, wouldn't let him see her agitation. He tucked her hair behind her ear. Tension took hold of her body. She shuddered, looked up to tell him to stop, but he bent forward, his lips parted, a single freckle on his cheek drawing her attention while his lips got closer and closer and closer until ---"For future reference," he said, "I never kiss horribly." And before she could blink or breathe or think, his lips closed over hers. His grip tightened in her hair, and when she should've protested or pulled away or kicked him in the shins, her body melted into his. Kissing him was wrong.... So wrong. She was so good at so wrong.
Jamie Farrell
Get back to work.""Fine way to talk to your wife.""If you were my wife, I would've slapped your ass too."She stared at him a beat too long. She did love the feel of his hands on her ass.
Jamie Farrell
My clue is that you're supposed to keep going once you've found me."His eyes narrowed. Thoughtfully, as though he were looking for the words she wanted to say instead. "Keep going in the maze?" he said slowly. "Or keep going somewhere else?"The man had an evil streak. "The maze," she said firmly.Helpfully. Like a dutiful daughter of Bliss."Because there are a few places I'd like to go with you.
Jamie Farrell
Wow. You really know how to make a woman happy...""I have a night-eight percent success rate with always knowing what will make a woman happy," he said. Lindsey chuckled softly. "And how do you quantify that?""Would you like to know," he said.Nat wanted to know.
Jamie Farrell
I hate parties.And a wedding is the biggest party of all.All the guests arrived and Orpheus is taking a shower.He's always taking a shower when the guests arrive so he doesn't have to greet them.Then I have to greet them.
Sarah Ruhl
Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.
George R.R. Martin
A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein
Victoria Ward
That was the thing about weddings: they forced family members to deal with one another, like it or not.
Jamie Brenner
Oh, I loathe weddings. I loathe sitting down and participating in inane conversations with proud parents and smug couples who all look like they might secretly hate each other.
Saleem Haddad
The band in the ballroom announced the cover of a special request, and after a pause, the woman's voice sang out the breathy first line of Etta James's "At Last." Chairs barked as guests rose to greet the champion of all wedding songs, the one that always brought indifferent or fighting or estranged couples to the dance floor for momentary reconciliation.
Mira Jacob
If you're not entirely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, it seems to me that the last thing you'd want to do is to set in motion a very lengthy, time-consuming, expensive, and highly public process designed to lead inexorably to just that.
Donna Andrews
Your love awakens my spirit.
Lailah Gifty Akita
That’s what marriage was at its best: You didn’t have to tell your partner to look out, that you were falling. They were just there to catch you.
Jamie Brenner
For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage.
DeBorrah K. Ogans
In Marriage You Learn To Give Up The "Me ness for We ness!
DeBorrah K. Ogans
Newspaper columnist Dave Barry once wrote that the motto of the wedding industry is, 'Money can't buy you happiness, so you might as well give your money to us.
Denise Fields
I was stunned. I pulled the phone away and looked quizzically at the hole-punched speaker. Aside from the blood obligation to be my sister's maid of honor, it had never occured to me that I would get asked to be in anyone's wedding. I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are the like the triathlon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall off their bikes or choke on ocean water. I figured if I valued my life, I'd stay away from weddings and they'd stay away from me.
Sloane Crosley
A wedding is for daughters and fathers. The mothers all dress up, trying to look like young women. But a wedding is for a father and daughter. They stop being married to each other on that day.
Sarah Ruhl
One of the reasons God did not make a lover for Himself when He made one for Adam is because He knew that fewer people would take Him seriously once He had an ex.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some women would not cheat, and some would not have cheated, had they each married a man whom they love … or at least like.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
But men are bound to saySome things that, though untrue,Will get you down the aisleUntil you say "I do.
Joyce Rachelle
... I regularly frequent St. George';s, Hanover Square, during the genteel marriage season; and though I have never seen the bridegroom's male friends give way to tears, or the beadles and officiating clergy in any way affected, yet it is not at all uncommon to see women who are not in the least concerned in the operations going on -- old ladies who are long past marrying, stout middle-aged females with plenty of sons and daughters, let alone pretty young creatures in pink bonnets, who are on their promotion, and may naturally taken an interest in the ceremony -- I say it is quite common to see the women present piping, sobbing, sniffling; hiding their little faces in their little useless pocket-handkerchiefs; and heaving, old and young, with emotion.
William Makepeace Thackeray
Some people will each start investing more of their salary on ‘their’ house and spending less of it on ‘their’ car or cars only when they start being able to take ‘their’ house to work, funerals, weddings, etc.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twice as much as he earns.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I have heard that the French like to say, "Nobody grows old during a happy occasion at the dining table." With such wonderful family and friends all around us for Mitchell's and Stacie's wedding, I know their love will always stay young and true to one another, because of the love and happiness we all have in this room today!
James Hauenstein
And when you lay in bed with your wife,are you mentally there or with the women on TV? Or the women who you've been intimate with though the screens? You not only compare your wife to these women but also love her as though she was someone elsePhysically present when making love to her but mentally absent from herYou kiss her lips while your heart kisses the "screen woman
Amby C. Ezem
The lot of the brideto be wed before beddesired until rotten.The lot of the authorto be read before bedadmired then forgotten.
Roman Payne
And when you lay in bed with your wife,are you mentally there or with the women on TV? Or the women who you've been intimate with though the screens? You not only compare your wife to these women but also love her as though she was someone elsePhysically present when making love to her but mentally absent from herYou kiss her lips while your heart kisses the "screen woman
Amby C. Ezem
The lot of the brideto be wed before beddesired until rotten.The lot of the authorto be read before bedadmired then forgotten.
Roman Payne
Life, weddings, relationships, road trips, gardening, making out, haircuts: few of the fun things in life always go as expected.
Ariel Meadow Stallings
Be there a picnic for the devil,an orgy for the satyr,and a wedding for the bride.
Roman Payne
Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Every bride is beautiful. It’s like newborn babies or puppies. They can’t help it.
Emme Rollins
Love is a universal language.
Lailah Gifty Akita
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