Sexy Humor Quotes

My libido was like a Golden Retriever puppy, ready to jump all over him and lick his face.Down, girl.

Mew - mew. Mew.” I jump back from her finger swipes. “I am fluent in pussy, but I have no idea what this fucking means, Georgia.

Pella Grace

I’ll take her home. You guys finish … whatever … you were doing.” She glances to me, a slight blush on her face. I tug Cash’s borrowed shirt down, hiding my red ass cheek. The spatula is still in his hand. He’s only wearing boxers. Dear Lord.

Pella Grace

Just don’t stare at my ass, Landemere,” he added.“I wasn’t staring at your ass,” Arranulf, who had been staring at his ass, said.

Andrew Ashling

Oh yeah," Zane says and smirks at me. "I had her for dinner once. Best meal of my life.

Nicole Christie

Robert, what are you doing? I'm cooking.’‘I like to thank the chef for the excellent food.’‘But surely that is done at the end of the meal.’‘What a good idea, I'll thank you later … as it should be done.

Debra Strattford

Shane was just leaving, too.”“What?” he c

Devon Ashley

Come make me sticky.Dimitri to Honor

Nalini Singh

You smell salty," he says. "Like the ocean." He leans closer to me and licks up the side of my face. "You taste salty too. Maybe I should grab a bottle of tequila and we should have some fun." He moves his eyebrows up and down. "What do you say? We'll do some shots and I'll lick you all over.

Jillian Dodd

Many of my ex-girlfriends were habitual half-asian daters. These women considered half-asian men 'exotic,' 'sexy,' and 'just-like-Keanu Reeves-in-the-Matrix. I consider these stereotypes appropriate because I got laid.

Kip Fulbeck

Because I absolutely, positively cannot fuck you, Lola,” he says like it’s a formal declaration.I furrow my brow and salute him, which makes him snicker.

Bianca Giovanni

She had no idea how long they kissed—and kissed—but she didn’t think about stopping until she ran out of air. Breathing hard, she slowly opened her eyes and stared directly into his.They’d heated. Darkened. And something else. He wasn’t looking so relaxed now. In fact, he was looking the opposite of relaxed. He looked…feral.And she was his prey.

Jill Shalvis

What was she thinking? He was her mechanic, not a piece of meat. Although, if he were a piece of meat, he’d be a big, juicy porterhouse, the naughtier side of her thought. -Gabby, Love in Greener Pastures

Amanda Bretz

For the briefest of moments his eyes sparkled before dimming again. “However much I would love to get into a discussion about chastity belts, now is not the time. The people we were fighting were not human in the strictest sense of the word.

Michelle Smart

I hired you for your attitude, and so far I’m pretty happy with my decision. But I’m not sure I can work with you until I’ve fucked this attraction out of my system.

J.C. Reed

She took hold of him through his pants. "I want this inside me five minutes ago.

Amber Belldene

Feeling a little calmer?” she asked, leaning against the desk again.Dax snorted. “Mellow as anything. I’m ready to curl up and take a nap now. Don’t mind if I purr.

Katherine McIntyre

Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts.I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies.“You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad?Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now.He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest.I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.”“So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.

Lilly Avalon

First of all, I'll tell you who I'm not. I'm not your enemy, so you can put the sharp pointy objects away,' he responded in a light conversational tone, obviously not deterred by my abrasiveness, which only pissed me off more to know he didn't find me to be a threat at all.'Well, first of all, I'll be the judge of that,' I cut him off before he could continue. 'And second of all, I'm not interested in who you're not,' I added.'So you're saying you're interested in who I am?' He gave me a moment to process what he said before a smile broke on his face.My cheeks flamed. 'Hardly. Just interested in whether or not I'll be seeing you around again,' I was seething and beginning to shake with indignation.'So you want to see me again?

Alicia Deters

He circled around me, whispering in my ear. “I’m O positive. I’m everyone’s type.

Dannika Dark

Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with.

Paula Wall

But as an escort it’s our duty to hold their attention and play with their heads. The one between their ears and the one in their pants.

S.K Logsdon

I always thought 'love at first sight' was silly and incredibly irresponsible. Then, you came along and you flipped it on me. I understand it now. I do! ~Sheriff Derrick Decker

Laney Smith

Mmhh! I have several ideas, but I don't know where to start.’‘You mean to hear me shout your name?’‘Yes, that's one of the ideas I have in mind.

Debra Strattford

If you keep torturing me like this …’ Robert said.‘What will happen?’‘You don't know?

Debra Strattford

Took long enough,” she called out, not wanting to admit how the sight of him made her throat hitch, how the man was so gorgeous she lost her mind. “I thought you drowned in the mirror from staring into your reflection too long.

Katherine McIntyre

I’m feeling particularly good and wicked at the moment.

A.R. Von

He takes my mouth with such fervor, my heart pounds harder than after I’ve just run for miles. My legs now feel like over cooked noodles.

A.R. Von

Stop,” he murmured, or at least that’s what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like “Yes,” which probably wasn’t the same thing at all.

Tawna Fenske

What the hell are you doing with my underwear?” He kept his response flippant. “I don’t have this color in my collection.

Miranda Liasson

It’s not over, Maddie. It’s still not over between us. We need to talk.

Miranda Liasson

They’d used sex instead of communication in the past, and it had turned out disastrously.

Miranda Liasson

How was it that the one man who could take their company down appeared to be the only one who believed in her?

Miranda Liasson

Did you get a secret thrill out of sitting across from me, eating a civilized dinner while pretending not to know you were teasing my cock?" Rate St. Sebastian

Samanthe Beck

You didn’t care about anything except my tongue tracing the path of your thong. All the way down…" Rafe St. Sebastian

Samanthe Beck

I like to play dirty. I can also be very, very exacting.” Rate St. Sebastian.

Samanthe Beck

I warned you the next time you spread your legs for me, I wouldn't be a gentleman. Did you expect a gentleman, Chelsea?" Rate St. Sebastian

Samanthe Beck

Ugh. You’re being . . . you.”“Was that in English?”“This is all your fault.”“Nope. Definitely not English.”“You’re being all hot and sexy, dammit,” she said. She banged her head on his chest a few times. “And I can’t seem to . . . not notice said hotness and sexiness.

Jill Shalvis

Did you get any blood on your breasts? I’m willing to go the extra mile.

Dannika Dark

We can’t do this on so many levels,” she whispered. But I don’t care." Vee, The Way You Bite

Zoe Forward

He began to take off his shirt. "Undress," he ordered. "No." There was a fierceness in her eye, and a smile on her lips. "Make me.

Zoey Ellis

they all think men are obsolete. useless. as if we're just some sexual appendix.

Chuck Palahniuk

Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn’t believe in cunnilingus...

Roberto Hogue

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

Jacob M. Appel

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

Jacob M. Appel

You love that, don't you?" I growled. "Being hammered by my cock... you must think you're in... fucking... heaven."Punctuation by cock thrust - the very best kind.

Shay Savage

I’m going to make you feel so good,” I swore to her, “that you’re going to not just scream my name, but forget yours.

Shay Savage

My sub doesn't pay for me,” he says, pulling me to my feet. “That just doesn't happen.”“But we ordered so much,” I say helpl

Nenia Campbell

Her insides began to roar with a ferocious explosion of sensation and entitlement. For a moment, her thinking mind know this was what male and females were put on earth to do.

Lisa McKnight

The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned.

Susan Block

I don’t know what came over me.”Charlie smiled. He drew her to him and kissed her. “Me,” he said.

Luggs

It's funny, this - so many words to describe the same thing,” she smiled...“Penis is simply an anatomical appendage, as exciting as a finger or a phalange. A willy is something small and flaccid, and at least slightly humorous. Prick is the organ as viewed with distaste, perhaps with so much as to describe the entire body it’s attached to, like a dick, but more so. Phallus is a symbol of fertility, but my favourite...is the cock, which is only ever the hard, real thing, unleashed and ready to dive head-first into any waiting orifice. Or hole, while I’m in thesaurus mode.

Morgana Blackrose

Nineteen ninety-eight was a banner year for Connie. She was separately invited by two male former college friends to participate in an ménage à trois with them and their wives, despite her overbite and diminutive breasts.

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Mr. Montgomery pushes the envelope. It's everything we shouldn't do, yet, he makes us want to, anyway.

Nadlee Thims

With Mr. Montgomery, I set out to see what it would be like to write a novel in 30 days. It was hell! I'd do it again in a minute.

Nadlee Thims

I want you in every way possible and in ways you’ve probably never even imagined. Your saving grace is I don’t sleep with vamps. If things were different we wouldn’t be talking and you’d be enjoying the hell out of where this could be going.” - Lexan, The Way You Bite

Zoe Forward

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making," he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs?Kurt Nielsen

Nikki Sex

When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

Daven Anderson

Gabby couldn't believe what he had just said. Her mouth gaped open and a flirty smile came over her. She slowly peeled her half wet white t-shirt over her head and then slowly shimmied out of her shorts. What had gotten into her? She had never acted like this before, but she suddenly felt playful, fun and daring. If he wanted to play, so could she.

J.B. McGee

Some men do not know the father of 'their' children.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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