Satire Quotes - Page 12

Theatres are curious places, magician's trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and off the stage. Murders, mayhem, politcal intrigue, lucrative business, secret assignations, and of course, dinner.

E.A. Bucchianeri

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know - for comedians are the caricatures among us.

Criss Jami

Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve.""And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied.

E.A. Bucchianeri

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

Terry Pratchett

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

Susan Kay

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."-"It was stupid.

Lloyd Alexander

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Lenny Bruce

I didn't know what to say. I knew I had a big choice to make. I could let it all go and try to love him, try to trust him, try to make something lasting and good. He obviously had strong feelings for me or about me. And he wasn't being so bad right now. We could build something sturdy, beautiful. Or I could try to make a dash for the door by crawling under the dining room table.There was a good chance that he would kill me later either way.

Alexandra Kleeman

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The blessing has been so significatn that we have continued our satiric tact [sic] with an additional objective in mind -- keeping the suits and haircuts away. Whenever a promising movement of the Holy Spirit begins nowadays, one of the first things that happens is that the agents, businessmen, and other assorted handlers move in so that they might straighten out certain unmarketable "blemishes" in order to take the show on the road. And when a promising ministry hits the big time, the unfortunate people in it are made twice as much sons of hell as their promoters. It is therefore our resolve to stay as unmarketable as we can. If we ever get invited to the Great Black Tie Banquet of Evangelicalism, we want everyone there to be braced for the moment when we, on a prearranged signal, throw our dinner rolls at Pat Robertson

Douglas Wilson

I am fashionably unimpressed with the material world. I am moved by the beauty of aspiration, and I hope that I can elevate myself to the standards I have imposed on others.

Mike Corbett

There is a sort of mental treasonThat smothers dreams outside of reason

Mike Corbett

A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!

Kathy Griffin

I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.""I don't say homosexuality's an abomination, Mr. President, the bible does.""Yes it does. Leviticus-""18:22""Chapter in verse. I wanted to ask you a couple questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo Mcgary,insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it ok to call the police? Here's one that's really important, cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Red Skins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

Aaron Sorkin

When...did it become irrational to dislike religion, any religion, even to dislike it vehemently? When did reason get redescribed as unreason? When were the fairy stories of the superstitious placed above criticism, beyond satire? A religion was not a race. It was an idea, and ideas stood (or fell) because they were strong enough (or too weak) to withstand criticism, not because they were shielded from it. Strong ideas welcomed dissent.

Salman Rushdie

As an experienced editor, I disapprove of flashbacks, foreshadowings, and tricksy devices; they belong in the 1980s with M.A.s in postmodernism and chaos theory.

David Mitchell

My pen shall heal, not hurt.

L.M. Montgomery

Even ivory towers need central heating.

Breyten Breytenbach

Shall I compare thee to a barrel of apples?Though art more hairy, but sweeter inside.Rough winds couldn't keep me from taking you to chapel,Where finally a horse could take a bride...

Cynthia Hand

Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them...

Aleister Crowley

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most adults are knowledgeable to a child, but ignorant for their age.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some writers write to forget. Some forget to write.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most of the very few people who would choose a good heart over riches would eventually use that to either make a lot of money, or attract men or women who are rich.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There’s no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think you have.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There is so much woman in many a girl and too much boy in many a man.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We call talking about other people’s personal lives ‘gossip’ only if we aren’t or weren’t part of the conversation.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The real reason the number of things that are shared via social media every single minute is so astronomical is because, whenever they each do, most users do not share or say something because they believe they have something worth remembering; they do mainly or only because they fear being forgotten.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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Satire Quotes - Page 12

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