Religion Quotes - Page 4

A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.

My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.

Hal Roach

The service we render others is really the rent we pay for our room on Earth.

Wilfred Grenfell

There are no atheists on turbulent airplanes.

I have a hard time believing that billions of years ago two protozoa bumped into each other under a volcanic cesspool and evolved into Cindy Crawford.

I do benefits for all religions. ... I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would not stop to ask directions.

The Ten Commandments don't tell you what you ought to do: They only put ideas into your head.

Elizabeth Bibesco

Heaven goes by favor if it went by merit you would stay out and your dog would go in.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Mae West

A church is a hospital for sinners not a museum for saints.

Abigail Van Buren

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

H.G.Wells

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

Many families think of church as if it was a convention - they send one delegate.

Wayne Day

When something good happens it's a miracle and you should wonder what God is saving up for you later.

Marshall Brickman

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors and also to love our enemies probably because they are generally the same people.

G.K. Chesterton

To all things clergic I am allergic.

Alexander Woollcott

It's clear why they only served bread and wine at the Last Supper. It was a potluck . . . organized by men.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord in his wisdom didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

Anonymous

If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.

If you talk to God you are praying if God talks to you you have schizophrenia.

Infidel n: in New York one who does not believe in the Christian religion in Constantinople one who does.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

Yes I am a Jew and when the ancestors of the right honourable gentlemen were brutal savages in an unknown land mine were priests in the Temple of Solomon.

Benjamin Disraeli

As for a future life every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague possibilities.

My theology briefly Is that the universe Was dictated But not signed.

Christopher Morley

My atheism like that of Spinoza is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of their human interests.

George Santayana

There is a crack in everything God has made.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

George Bernard Shaw

The voice of the people is the voice of God. (Vox populi vox dei.)

I'm not ok - you're not ok and that's ok.

Rev. William Sloane Coffin

Men prefer to believe that they are degenerated angels rather than elevated apes.

W. Winwood Roade

Let's all give God a great big hand. I've seen the last page of the bible and it's going to turn out all right.

Anonymous

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

I consider myself a Hindu Christian Moslem Jew Buddhist and Confucian.

If you bring forth what is within you what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

There is a good deal too strange to be believed nothing is too strange to have happened.

Life has a practice of living you if you don't live it.

If only God would give me a clear sign like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.

Oysters are more beautiful than any religion . . . there's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

Saki

Don't be agnostic - be something.

A gentle Quaker hearing a strange noise in his house one night got up and discovered a burglar busily at work. He went and got his gun came back and stood quietly in the doorway. 'Friend ' he said 'I would do thee no harm for the world but thou standest where I am about to shoot.'

We Jews have a secret weapon in our struggle with the Arabs - we have no place to go.

Religion is a way of walking not a way of talking.

Dean William R. Inge

Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us and I for one must be content to remain agnostic.

Religion converts despair which destroys into resignation which submits.

Lady Blessington

For the wonderful thing about saints is that they were human. They lost their tempers got angry scolded God were egotistical or testy or impatient in their turns made mistakes and regretted them. Still they went on doggedly blundering toward heaven.

Phyllis McGinley

Audible at five miles painful at three and lethal at one.

Winchester Cathedral

With soap baptism is a good thing.

Robert G. Ingersoll

When a man is freed of religion he has a better chance to live a normal and wholesome life.

The Church of England is the Tory party at prayer.

Anonymous

A Unitarian very earnestly disbelieves what everyone else believes.

W Somerset Maugham

While I cannot be regarded as a pillar I must be regarded as a buttress of the church because I support it from outside.

Atheism is rather in the lip than in the heart of Man.

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