Marriage Quotes - Page 2

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

Any marriage happy or unhappy is infinitely more interesting and significant than any romance however passionate.

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour.

M. M. Musselman

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

Honoré de Balzac

Polygamy: an endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two.

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.

You can bear your own faults and why not a fault in your wife?

Benjamin Franklin

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.

Bible

Marriage is our last best chance to grow up.

As a general thing people marry most happily with their own kind. The trouble lies in the fact that people usually marry at an age when they do not really know what their own kind is.

Robertson Davies

Marriage is the deep deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise longue.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist a wonderful living side by side can grow up if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife he is always proud of himself as the source of it.

Pains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That's what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex.

Simone Signoret

Marriage: a job. Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it.

Kathleen Norris

A wife encourages her husband's egoism in order to exercise her own.

A man and a woman marry because both of them don't know what to do with themselves.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell it is simply purgatory.

Abraham Lincoln

Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant of a teacher and a learner.

Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Husband and wife come to look alike at last.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

There is a radicalism in all getting and a conservatism in all keeping. Lovemaking is radical while marriage is conservative.

The young man who wants to marry happily should pick out a good mother and marry one of her daughters - any one will do.

J. Ogden Armour

His designs were strictly honourable as the phrase is: that is to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.

If thee marries for money thee surely will earn it.

I'm an extinct volcano.

Nancy Lady Astor

A husband is what is left of a lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A rich widow weeps with one eye and signals with the other.

Portuguese Proverb

A wise woman will always let her husband have her way.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5 000 Gideon Bibles.

In my conscience I believe the baggage loves me for she never speaks well of me herself nor suffers anybody else to rail at me.

William Congreve

Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures.

Married women are kept women and they are beginning to find it out.

Logan Pearsall Smith

Modern American marriage is like a wire fence. The woman's the wire -the posts are the husband's.

Langdon Mitchell

The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.

The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong.

There is nothing like living together for blinding people to each other.

Ivy Compton-Burnett

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

Adela Rogers St. John

When a man opens the car door for his wife it's either a new car or a new wife.

I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me I can't remember why I got married.

Anonymous

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce I think I'm about a hundred thousand dollars short.

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

I've married a few people I shouldn't have but haven't we all?

Mamie Van Doren

Not all of his relationships were meant to end . . . Once he sent a postcard and inadvertently wrote "Wish you were her."

Anonymous

My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Going shopping with your husband is like his going fishing with the game warden.

Anonymous

My wife and I had words - but I never got to use mine.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play Softball on the weekends.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce murder yes but divorce never.

Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.

Jay Leno

You might try doing what my folks did. Twice a week they would go out for a special meal. . . with wine good food and soft lighting. Dad took Tuesday and Mom took Thursday.

Anonymous

He had a great sound system - but he didn't know much about fidelity.

Anonymous

Getting married is a good deal like going to a restaurant with your friends. You order what you want and then when you see what the other fellow got you wish you had taken that.

Clarence Darrow

Prenuptial agreement: Paper a lawyer prepares to protect the party of the first part from the party of the second part should they discover the party's over.

Rheta G. Johnson

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