Insults Quotes

I hope you live to be as old as your jokes.

Anonymous

Why does our host always have tears in his eyes after sex? Due to the pepper spray.

I take him to McDonald's just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. But then he has much to be modest about.

Winston Churchill

After a year of therapy my psychiatrist said to me "Maybe life isn't for everyone."

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."

His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music.

Anonymous

Some people can carry a tune but they seem to stagger under the load.

Every word she writes is a lie including and and the.

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

If he can remember so many jokes With all the details that mold them Why can't he recall with equal skill All the times he told them!

Anonymous

I just thought you might like to know that I passed a kennel on the way to the game and your mother is all right.

I can't believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm you were the quickest.

A fly Sir may sting a stately horse and make him wince but one is but an insect and the other a horse still.

Calumny is only the noise of madmen.

Diogenes

To persevere in one's duty and be silent is the best answer to calumny.

George Washington

Woe unto you when all men shall speak well of you.

Bible

Young men soon give and soon forget affronts Old age is slow in both.

As long as there are readers to be delighted with calumny there will be found reviewers to calumniate.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

He that flings dirt at another dirtieth himself most.

It takes your enemy and your friend working together to hurt you to the heart the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

Calumny requires no proof. The throwing out of malicious imputations against any character leaves a stain which no after-refutation can wipe out. To create an unfavourable impression it is not necessary that certain things should be true but that they have been said.

William Hazlitt

It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it.

Seneca

Abuse a man unjustly and you will make friends for him.

Edgar Watson Howe

One of the surest signs of the Philistine is his reverence for the superior tastes of those who put him down.

Alive ridiculous and dead forgot?

I'll give you an idea of what kind of a guy he was. St. Francis would have punched him in the mouth.

He loves to eat - he puts mayonnaise on an aspirin.

Apparently he was not the sharpest quill on the porcupine if you get my drift.

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!

I've just learned about his illness let's hope it's nothing trivial.

. . . 'twill turn your eyeballs black and blue.

Injuries may be forgiven but not forgotten.

Aesop

It seldom pays to be rude. It never pays to be only half-rude.

Lloyd George could not see a belt without hitting below it.

Macaulay is well for awhile but one wouldn't live under Niagara.

Be thou as chaste as ice as pure as snow thou shalt not escape calumny.

William Shakespeare

That's what you think of me, is it, girl?" said his lordship, a glint in his

Georgette Heyer

Sir, no insult intended, but you said to me once that you don’t like kiss-asses and that you’d rather work with people challenging your perceptions.

You're not interesting in the least," she spat. "I don't need to be," I smiled. "That's what you need...And you're welcome to it.

Donna Lynn Hope

Right before the game, she strolled up to me. "Hey, Seaweed Brain.""Will you stop calling me that?"She knows I hate that name, mostly because I never have a good comeback. She's the daughter of Athena, which doesn't give me a lot of ammunition. I mean, "Owl-head" and "Wise Girl" are kind of lame insults.

She...can talk brillantly upon any subject provided she knows nothing about it.

You are thought here to the most senseless and fit man for the job.

William Shakespeare

They lie deadly that tell you have good faces.

William Shakespeare

You speak an infinite deal of nothing.

William Shakespeare

She may be crazy but at least she isn't you.

Donna Lynn Hope

...the only thing that could justify your continuing existence on the planet would be if you started breathing carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen.

Yrsa Sigurðardóttir

[Francesca] 'You really are a few biscuits short of breakfast.'His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.'You're a few colors shy of a rainbow?' she offered. 'Not pulling a full wagon? Knitting with only one needle? All foam and no beer? Your cheese slid off the cracker? You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?'[Nicodemus] 'All right. I get it.

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.

To say that Agatha Christie’s characters are cardboard cut-outs is an insult to cardboard cut-outs.

I am reading Henry James… and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth amber.

Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste than Herman Melville.

Am reading more of Oscar Wilde. What a tiresome, affected sod.

There is something silly about a man who wears a white suit all the time, especially in New York." (on Tom Wolfe)

An idiot child screaming in a hospital." (on George Bernard Shaw)

H.G.Wells

All raw, uncooked, protesting."(on Aldous Huxley)

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."(on Ernest Hemingway

William Faulkner

Kerouac lacks discipline, intelligence, honesty and a sense of the novel. His rhythms are erratic, his sense of character is nil, and he is as pretentious as a rich whore, sentimental as a lollypop.

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