Quotes.cx
  • Home
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Quote of the Day
  • Home
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Quote of the Day
  • Home
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Quote of the Day
  • Top 100 Quotes
  • Professions
  • Nationalities

Humour Quotes - Page 2

    • Love Quotes
    • Life Quotes
    • Inspirational Quotes
    • Philosophy Quotes
    • Humor Quotes
    • Wisdom Quotes
    • God Quotes
    • Truth Quotes
    • Happiness Quotes
    • Hope Quotes
  • Follow us on Facebook
  • Save us on Pinterest
  • Follow us on X
An arrogant man whose arrogance we see from his own behaviour is more tolerable than a humble man whose humility we hear of from his own mouth.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was and is still a prince.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Casting a curious gaze down on planet Earth, extra-terrestrial beings could well be forgiven for assuming that we humans are programmed in every move we make, by a palm-sized, oblong, slab of glass. More perplexing than that, who on earth could convince them otherwise ?
Alex Morritt
I am strangely excited to see how snarky and sarcastic all us bookworms are going to become when we’re old. We’ll all be Mother Ogma’s with tattoos and piercings and purple WoW leggings carrying wands and staffs, and best of all everyone’s hair will finally be able to hold colour because we’ll all have white hair! We’ll all be blogging on WordPress and still waiting for Sherlock and still celebrating Christmas with Doctor Who specials while our grandchildren play quidditch…
Katelynn Hillier
I thought the trees down in Lady Zelana’s country were about as big as a tree could get,” he said, “but the ones around here are so tall that they probably tickle the moon’s tummy when she goes by.
David Eddings
They were like animals, men. They found too much eye contact threatening.
Jojo Moyes
He laughs. "No! Aguaje is for girls. If a man eats to much of it, he starts to look like a woman.""That is the most unscientific thing I've ever heard.""Then you haven't met my cousin Jacari." Eio swings the string of fruit back and forth. " Too much aguaje. Now the mothers use him as wet nurse."My mouth freezes in mid-bite, and I stare at him. "You're teasing me."A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Maybe.
Jessica Khoury
But a cock does not enter a hen… it enters a…meow-meow!
Faraaz Kazi
...trying to predict whether global warming will moderate the next ice age is not only impossible but irrelevant. It doesn't help us get through the next few centuries. And one can only imagine our future, shivering, ice age descendants cursing us for leaving them no fossil fuel to create a global warming "greenhouse" effect when one is really needed.
John Harte
lectures broke into one's day and were clearly a terrible waste of time, necessary no doubt if you were reading law or medicine or some other vocational subject, but in the case of English, the natural thing to do was talk a lot, listen to music, drink coffee and wine, read books, and go to plays, perhaps be in plays…
Stephen Fry
We Slovenians are even better misers than you Scottish. You know how Scotland began? One of us Slovenians was spending too much money, so we put him on a boat and he landed in Scotland.
Slavoj Žižek
You can't believe everything people tell you - not even if those people are your own brain.
Jefferson Smith
An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he's working on these days. 'My thesis is on the survival of the class system in the United States.' 'Oh really, that's interesting: one didn't think there was a class system in the United States.' 'Nobody does. That's how it survives.
Christopher Hitchens
I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.
Derek Landy
CUSTOMER: I don’t know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?
Jen Campbell
Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”“We make a great team.”“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.
Derek Landy
I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained ina variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.
Derek Landy
To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long as they each earn and have more money than their neighbours, and, equally important, their neighbours know that.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
...Come on let’s see the degree.” Katherine unrolled her scroll displaying a long declaration in Latin affixed with a red seal proclaiming her a Master of Art. “Imagine working for years to obtain a piece of paper we can hardly read ” Katherine joked. “And to officially declare you have talent ” Suzy returned.
E.A. Bucchianeri
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career.
E.A. Bucchianeri
1. You left a multipack of Mars Bars on top of your wardrobe. Can I have one? Dad x2. I had three. Hope that's OK. Dad x3. I'm just going to have one more. Dad x4. Harriet, your Dad's made himself sick on an entire multipack of Mars Bars again. Please don't leave sweets where we can find them. A x
Holly Smale
Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…”"What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?”“Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied.
E.A. Bucchianeri
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male
Keisha Keenleyside
When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?
Bruce Coville
It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
During the Bosnian war in the late 1990s, I spent several days traveling around the country with Susan Sontag and her son, my dear friend David Rieff. On one occasion, we made a special detour to the town of Zenica, where there was reported to be a serious infiltration of outside Muslim extremists: a charge that was often used to slander the Bosnian government of the time. We found very little evidence of that, but the community itself was much riven as between Muslim, Croat, and Serb. No faction was strong enough to predominate, each was strong enough to veto the other's candidate for the chairmanship of the city council. Eventually, and in a way that was characteristically Bosnian, all three parties called on one of the town's few Jews and asked him to assume the job. We called on him, and found that he was also the resident intellectual, with a natural gift for synthesizing matters. After we left him, Susan began to chortle in the car. 'What do you think?' she asked. 'Do you think that the only dentist and the only shrink in Zenica are Jewish also?' It would be dense to have pretended not to see her joke.
Christopher Hitchens
With right fashion, every female would be a flame.
Amit Kalantri
Fashion doesn't make you perfect, but it makes you pretty.
Amit Kalantri
Dresses won't worn out in the wardrobe, but that is not what dresses are designed for.
Amit Kalantri
Dresses don't look beautiful on hangers.
Amit Kalantri
It's time to shop high heels if your fiance kisses you on the forehead.
Amit Kalantri
Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
PreviousPrevious Previous 1 2 3 Next NextNext

Related Topics

Lose Weight
Quotes
In One S Right Mind
Quotes
Working
Quotes
Disabled
Quotes
Validation
Quotes
Archaeology
Quotes
T P Grish
Quotes
Jokes And Whatever
Quotes

Quotes.CX

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms
  • DMCA

Site Links

  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Quote Of The Day
  • Top 100 Quotes
  • Professions
  • Nationalities

Authors in the News

  • Abhijit Naskar
  • Shannon L. Alder
  • Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
  • Michael Bassey Johnson
  • Craig D. Lounsbrough
  • Germany Kent
  • Criss Jami
  • Avijeet Das
  • Matshona Dhliwayo
  • Anthony Liccione
Quotes.cx
  • Follow us on Facebook
  • Follow us on Instagram
  • Save us on Pinterest
  • Follow us on Youtube
  • Follow us on X

@2024 Quotes.CX All rights reserved