Humorous Quotes - Page 19

Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production, and human beings, because they—unlike all companies—have the means of reproduction.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many millions of pregnancies—many if not most of which have each led to the birth of at least one child—were each used as nothing but a conspicuous means to a secret end called the evasion of abortion.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The world economy would collapse if a significant number of people were to realize and then act on the realization that it is possible to enjoy many if not most of the things that they enjoy without first having to own them.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child, something or some of the things that they, the parent, did not do or did not do successfully.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive poor man who seems rich over a sexually attractive rich man who seems poor.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to please Society, the very same bitch that secretly regards them as subhuman.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Patriotism is the narcissism of countries.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass

Neil Gaiman

Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. (He paused, then claimed that Chapman had whipered in his ear while he was writing the speech):All right, Cleese. You say you're very proud of being the very first person ever to say 'shit' on British television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to become the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'.

John Cleese

It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their ankles, like in that movie.

Neil Gaiman

But unless we determine to take action,' said the old man querulously, as if struggling against something deeply insouciant in his nature, 'then we shall all be destroyed, we shall all die. Surely we care about that?' 'Not enough to want to get killed over it,' said Ford.

Douglas Adams

Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered.

Victor J. Stenger

She's realized the real problem with stories -- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.

Neil Gaiman

Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Listen. Just because we got a mutual hankering, doesn't mean we have to act on it. Aside from the hankering, there isn't much about you that I like. So far, you've been a pain in the behind. And I might as well tell you, I've followed through on one hankering and getting shot was more of an enjoyable experience. I didn't like it.

Maggie Osborne

The workings of the male mind are twisted indeed." Winnifred Crane

Kate Noble

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey.""Karl, we're not fourteen!""Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey."(Karl & Elena)

Dianna Hardy

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

She shook her head as she confessed, "I want it so much, I'm afraid to hope." "Never be afraid to hope," Rohan said gently. "It's the only way to begin." -Rohan to Win

Lisa Kleypas

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.

Evangeline Anderson

I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me.

Tessa Dare

Every person has his secret; in reverie, unbeknown to others, he finds peace, freedom, sorrow and love.

Abhysheq Shukla

In the end, you will realize most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.

Abhysheq Shukla

Love wins when reflections win over reflexes.

Abhysheq Shukla

Everybody needs to be good-natured with a good heart, because in this way we can solve our own problems as well as those of others, and we can make our human life meaningful.

Abhysheq Shukla

We do not recognize that we are addicted to some negative psychological habit, some terribly self-destructive patterns of thinking...

Abhysheq Shukla

We are living a fantasy life in our heads, and our real life is passing by, moment by moment.Life is only lived in moments: anything else is a fantasy, a lie, an illusion.

Abhysheq Shukla

Karma is a balance sheet of life which debits and credit all your deeds.YourWhich is audited by our creator and actions are based on what we accumulated in it.

Abhysheq Shukla

Karma is the balance sheet of life which debits and credit all your deeds.YourWhich is audited by our creator and actions are based on what we accumulated in it.

Abhysheq Shukla

We create karma by all kinds of selfish actions.The first thing we must understand is that we are psychologically asleep.It is very difficult for us to be conscious of ourselves. We are not very aware. We must come to recognize that we do not pay attention.

Abhysheq Shukla

Self-observation is simply the observation of an internal state and an external event. It is pure awareness, which gives one the ability to choose one's actions. Only by having the choice can one perform what is right.

Abhysheq Shukla

Desires and Karma are the worst enemies living in the same soul together. It depends on us whom we choose and feed.

Abhysheq Shukla

LIFE - Death's Very Emissary

Abhysheq Shukla

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

Carroll Bryant

Quest assignments are never wrong.

Page Wisher

My boy, many people know many things. But the things we think we know of others can only become what is known if the others choose to do the doing of making what we think we know known.

Page Wisher

Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The Truth burns the heart like a hammer breaking a rock.

Lailah Gifty Akita

You got it all wrong in your way of thinking.

Lailah Gifty Akita

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Humorous Quotes - Page 19

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