Humorous Quotes - Page 14

Money changes people. This process is more commonly known as trading.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

Quentin R. Bufogle

99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

Quentin R. Bufogle

Self-publishing a shitty book doesn't make you an author any more than singing in the shower makes you a rockstar or squeezing your pimple makes you a dermatologist.

You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to William Byrd's "We Are the Champions" and Beethoven's "I Want To Break Free." Neither were as good as Vaughan Williams's "Fat-Bottomed Girls.

Terry Pratchett

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believethat if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well inmy life.

Vann Chow

Buy this book , buy this book , you need this book, buy book now.'Subliminal messaging works!

Don't ask creator to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet.

Abhysheq Shukla

In the end it will be your “Actions” “Convictions” & “Thoughts” which will determine how you shaped your life.

Abhysheq Shukla

How long you will live in your dreams? The time is now, it's better to go and follow them..

Abhysheq Shukla

Opportunity comes to everyone it depends on you whether you take it or leave it. Learn to take risks and play hard because at the end you'd be thankful for your struggle.

Abhysheq Shukla

When you are stressed and challenged by hardships just smile through it as frowning won’t help in changing the situation

Abhysheq Shukla

We all have this perfect little image of who we want to be, but it is unnecessary. Throw the image away. You're already you just be the best version of yourself.

Abhysheq Shukla

No matter how much struggle you face in your journey towards success, someday you will look back and realize your struggles changed your life for the better.

Abhysheq Shukla

Don’t keep those people in your life who are completely negative in approach. Eventually these people will stress you out and be the source of your downfall.

Abhysheq Shukla

Its all about perception in life, For some One minus One = One & for some its Zero.That's the only difference.

Abhysheq Shukla

Sometimes even a "Yes" can be fatal for our Souls

Abhysheq Shukla

There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.

Ljupka Cvetanova

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much!

Ljupka Cvetanova

Just married! A bright past is ahead of them!

Ljupka Cvetanova

Opposities are married.

Ljupka Cvetanova

The play of a pain is a party.

Lailah Gifty Akita

A good lover? One percent talent and ninety nine percent hard work.

Ljupka Cvetanova

Those who work, knows the strength of labour.

Lailah Gifty Akita

There is no competition in work. Many a man wants glory but fails to work.

Lailah Gifty Akita

Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?""Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children torment you with open begging mouths, like greedy baby birds in the nest. You go to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another morning. It also has its downside.

Christopher Moore

The world is made up of words.

Lailah Gifty Akita

Respect is reverence out of love, Fear is reverence out of hate.Choose Wisely

Abhysheq Shukla

Stop explaining to others, people will only understand from their level of discernment.

Abhysheq Shukla

Fear is the most prodigious enemy of our soul

Abhysheq Shukla

That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was 2003 hell in Harlem. (Dark City Lights)

Eve Kagan

He left not knowing where he was going, he got there not knowing where he was, and he came back not knowing where he had been. But history books will point out Columbus as the person who made the Americas available for exploitation. I guess I can make the same kind of ridiculous claim.

Herschell Gordon Lewis

I gave Henry a supscription [sic] to the Book of the Month club that tells you the book you have to read every month to make your individuality stand out. And it really is remarkable, because it makes over 50,000 people read the same book every month.

The only principle which will make you more content, less bitter is to live a life that has "Less excuses, more results. Less distraction, more focus. Less me, more we. Live with "Gratitude" not with "Greytitude

Abhysheq Shukla

My toes are a total wreck, my fingernails worse, and god knows my hair could use a registered nurse.

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think.

I suspect he's sweet on Sophie and doesn't like to see her work too hard.'Tessa was glad to hear it. She'd felt awful about her reaction to Sophie's scar, and the thought that Sophie had a male admirer - and a handsome one like that- eased her conscience slightly. 'Perhaps he's in love with Agatha', she said.'I hope not. I intend to marry Agatha myself. She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal.

Cassandra Clare

There are times when I am so unlike myself that I might be taken for someone else of an entirely opposite character.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Men weigh love with hands.

Ljupka Cvetanova

...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, though they be blockheads

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

There was an edge to his expression, like he didn't trust anyone who was more attractive than he was.

Eye Amost Evr Spel Ah Werd Wong Annymoe, sinc eye goat alto pel

James Hauenstein

Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.

Ana Claudia Antunes

All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.

Unless it is you, finding out who your lover’s dream lover is is a nightmare.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least like.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

After a certain point, all natural bodily changes are for the worst.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people would not be dead if they have not gotten the things or people they had prayed for.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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