Funny Quotes - Page 4

She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.”It was at that Raid stopped dead. “What?”“Raiden, the gig is up,” she declared, and Raid closed his eyes.Jesus, how could the woman be so infuriating and so fucking cute all at once?He opened his eyes and asked, “The gig is up?”She leaned into him and hissed, “Yes.”Fuck, he wanted to kiss her.He also wanted to shak

Is this about what happened to you and the old Sector 7?” I asked with a growl of my own.His hands tightened their grip on my shoulders. “How did you know about that?” “Tabby-Chan told me.”“Freaking Meko-Chan,” Kuroi uttered, “I swear, that kid is gonna get it. What did she tell you, exactly?”“She told me not to tell you that she told me what you told her.” I realized what I said. “Oops.” ~Luna's POV, Clash of the Clans: Shinobi 7 Companion Book #1

Connor and Cameron look wide-eyed at the carnage. Cameron slowed the speedboat down to a crawl. She and Connor looked at Jason.“Oops,” Jason said meekly. Nothing else seemed appropriate.“Oops?” Connor shouted. “You blew up half the town.

World is so full of idiots that you can't even imagine to escape. The only solution is isolation. But it still spares one!

Turning to Turnip, Miss Dempsey said, 'Do you think?'. 'As little as I can,' Turnip replied honestly.

All superheroes have origin stories, like how Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive spider. Me? I kissed a janitor in the school bathroom

Are You Driving With Your Eyes Open? Or Are You like Using The Force?

Eddie Murphy- Beverly Hills Cop

There is no cure for madness except the madness as the cure.

I'm beginning to think my name has been changed to 'Damn it' or 'Asshole'" Styxx

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Word of advice, sister mine. If you want to keep your papers private, don't write 'Private' on the cover. It set the mater right off. It was all I could do to stop her sniffing around like some great sniffing thing.

Gentle reminder, Smile please.

Vikrmn

I have a bad grammar, but I do have a good message in it.

sivaprakash Sidhu

^Do every day a thing that scares you_♥

Mana'hil

What's the deal with this Malachai?" Xevikan"I don't know. I just joined him myself. But he seems level. Decent even." Zavid"He's with a half-daeve turncoat, a Charonte, and an Aamon, and you don't find that off?" Xevikan"Wait until you meet his Arel girlfriend, lunatic mother, and the two human homicidal maniac he calls family. Buddy, everything about the Malachai ain't right." Zavid

Sherrilyn Kenyon

What a cool name. Where'd you get it?""I've always had it.

Stay in the car Nick""okay."Ash gets out abd goes to look at the dead body."For an immortal being with 11,000 years under his belt Ash sure is stupid." Nick gets out and sees the blood."That's a lot of blood." Nick's book starts sending him an alert. "What Lassie? You going to tell Timmy about the well?" pulls out book, and opens it. words start to appear.LOOK AND YOUWILL SEE THATWHICH WAS CANNEVER BE.WHEN THEYSEEK A BOYYOUR AGE...... RUN, YOUFLIPPINMORON, RUN!"I'm not gonna argue with my book on that. The safest place is with Ash.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Penny for your thoughts,' asked Gwen.'Cheapskate,' said Ianto. 'Never heard of inflation? Thoughts are a bit pricier than that these days.''OK,' said Gwen. 'A pint down the local tomorrow for your thoughts.'Ianto smiled. 'That's more like it.

David Llewellyn

You're boring me, M'Ordant. Go away." V'Aidan"You can't be bored." M'Ordant"And a good thing, too, since I'd no doubt perish from it while in your company." V'Aidan

Sherrilyn Kenyon

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.

There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino, who once told me, “Lift your chin, darling, you are not eighteen.” I enjoyed his honesty. Also, I’m pretty sure he says that to models who are nineteen.

Tina Fey

Christmas without a murder plot is like a day without giant spiders eaten orphans" (quote on my special gift holiday mugs)

Roma Gray

Graduating from the School of Hard Knocks doesn't always get you to Fort Knox.

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.

You’re starting to sound like one of those songs that DJ’s play when they wanna clear out the dancefloor.

You're alright, I guess; for, you're just being you, like any other cuckoo.

Fakeer Ishavardas

You arrogant little snot (John Hammond)

Michael Crichton

I'm having a stress flashback." Davy bonked his head on the table. "My brother has decided to break into the house of the richest guy in the county and seduce his sexpot daughter, under his nose.""I'm not going to seduce her," Sean said crabbily. "I'd go through the front door and talk to her right in front of her mother if I could, but those people think I'm festering sewage sludge.""No. They think you're dangerous, mentally unhinged festering sewage sludge," Davy corrected.

Shannon McKenna

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.”“Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.

It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

Auliq-Ice

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!

Walt Disney Company

Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.

Auliq-Ice

It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.

Auliq-Ice

If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old.

Auliq-Ice

I have started a new blog W.A.R.(Writers Amongst Readers) for all those writing or reading books. Quotes, excerpts, comments from the world's greatest writers. See robinhawdonblog

I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.

Auliq-Ice

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny

Auliq-Ice

I hear sweets help these kind of things, too…” -Jared“What kind of things is that?” -April“I don’t know.” He shrugs before adding, “Woman troubles, heartbreak, Twilight ending? Whatever bugs your mind.”-Jared

Sheena Hutchinson

They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!

All can I say is that exams are damn pathetic

Sharafat Hussain

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors

I never knew, apes talk. Apparently, you do.

Fakeer Ishavardas

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

Fakeer Ishavardas

so funny how i was so desperate triiying to reach to this point ...and now i have nothing to said im symple out of words,,,

mel rojas

Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.

You just know this is going to be bad," Susan said."—but when I went to college," Harry continued, throwing a piece of bread at Susan, "if your roommate died, you were usually allowed to skip your finals for that semester. You know, because of the trauma.""And oddly enough, your roommate got to skip them, too," Susan said. "For much the same reason.

Climate change is like my head: it’s not visible in every instance, but I’m pretty darn sure it’s there.

I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus.

The obvious thing to say of his appearance was that he would have been extremely handsome if he had not been entirely bald. But, indeed, that would itself be a rather bald way of putting it. Fantastic as it sounds, it would fit the case better to say that people would have been surprised to see hair growing on him; as surprised as if they had found hair growing on the bust of a Roman emperor.

G.K. Chesterton

Then you're seventy-five, friends are dead, and you've replaced at least one major organ: you have to pee four times a night, and you can't go up a flight a stairs without being little winded -- and your're told you're in pretty good shape for your age. [....], in a decade you'll be eighty-five, and the only difference between you and a raisin will be that while you're both wrinkled and without a prostate, the raisin never had a prostate to begin with.

Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight, who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I mean, really, it was half-witted." -- Christopher Lee

I enlarge the photo again. Nope, too blurry

Marie Lu

I said,’What’s your problem?’ Asshole.” There was a question behind his question, and that shadow question was ‘Do you want to dance?

All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.

Tui T. Sutherland

Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans.

That you exist, is offense enough to arrest you.

Fakeer Ishavardas

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!

Fakeer Ishavardas

In theory, especially in the case of Stone, those who have human hearts would remain cognizant of their behavior and in control of themselves. Those who are Katagaria . . .

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.

Without setbacks there'd be no comebacks, and everyone loves a come.

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