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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Grade Allen
Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.
Eugene Field
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
Rita Rudner
We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.
Grace Williams
I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.
Larry David
Personally I think any more than two or three kids is not a family it's a litter.
Tracey Ullman
Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.
Marshall McLuhan
When you're the only pea in the pod your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.
Russell Baker
I think of birth as the search for a larger apartment.
Rita Mae Brown
Always a godfather - never a god!
Alexander Woollcott
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner
The grace of birth is a divine.
Lailah Gifty Akita
Most people would instantly start feeling ten years older if someone were to convince them that they were actually born a decade before their birthdate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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