Attachment Quotes - Page 2

At the most basic level, therefore, secure attachments in both childhood and adulthood are established by two individual's sharing a nonverbal focus on the energy flow (emotional states) and a verbal focus on the information-processing aspects (representational processes of memory and narrative) of mental life. The matter of the mind matters for secure attachments.

Daniel J. Siegel

[On marriage and permanent attach

Dorothy L. Sayers

Relationships for women are more than taking off the clothes and wearing them back. It is about attachment of emotions, and feelings, but on the other hand, men are like fast and furious.

M.F. Moonzajer

When I consider the men (like my father) I have treated in psychotherapy, I recognize the challenge I face as a counselor. These men are in counseling due to an insistent wife, troubled child or their own addiction. They suffer a lack of connection with the people they say they love most. Chronically accused of being over controlling or emotionally absent, they feel at sea when their wives and children claim to be lonely in their presence. How can these people feel “un-loved” when (from his perspective) he has dedicated his life to their welfare?Some of these men will express their lack of vitality and emotional engagement though endless service. They are hyperaware of the moods, needs and prefer-ences of loved ones, yet their self-neglect can be profound. This text examines how a lack of secure early attachment with caregivers can result in the tendency to self-abandon while managing connections with significant others. Their anxiety and distrust of the connection of others will manifest in anxious monitoring, over-giving, passive aggressive approaches to anger and chronic worry. For them, failure to anticipate and meet the needs of others equals abandonment.

Mary Crocker Cook

It was if we all sensed we'd be gone someday soon in a sudden instant--often it happened in the middle of the night--and didn't want to get involved. Or else it was that none of us wanted to know anybody later on who was the way we were now.

Richard Ford

You can find hope in despair. Dwell on positive thoughts.

Lailah Gifty Akita

We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with beautiful shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of colored glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.

Pema Chödrön

Grief is a good thing. It's the way we get through the transitions of life.

Rick Warren

John Donne's 'A Valediction: forbidding mourning' concerns a sea voyage, and uses the image of a circle as an antidote to the abyss of loss and separation. He pictures the invisible but precious bonds which link carer and cared-for, lover and beloved in an attachment relationship as slender threads of gold.

Jeremy Holmes

Though surely to avoid attachments for fear of loss is to avoid life.

Lionel Shriver

Whatever work you do in this world; the work itself has no value. If there is attachment-abhorrence behind that work, then only you are responsible for the next life. You are not responsible if attachment-abhorrence don’t occur.

Dada Bhagwan

God says only one thing if you want to have attachment towards worldly life; go ahead and get attached to it; or else, get attached to Me. If you get attached to Me, you will get permanent happiness and if you get attached to the worldly life, you will not find contentment!

Dada Bhagwan

It is called equanimity when one has no attachment with the good (the auspicious) and no abhorrence for the bad (the inauspicious). The one without duality is in equanimity-state. In worldly interactions, people identify tolerance as equanimity!

Dada Bhagwan

Equanimity means that one does not do abhorrence at the time of abhorrence (generating incidents) and one does not do attachment at the time of attachment (generating incidents).

Dada Bhagwan

Stop falling for those who won't raise you up in the future.

Michael Bassey Johnson

I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.

Beryl Markham

My mother can't have been magic, or she wouldn't have died", said Riddle

J.K. Rowling

SELFHOOD AND DISSOCIATIONThe patient with DID or dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) has used their capacity to psychologically remove themselves from repetitive and inescapable traumas in order to survive that which could easily lead to suicide or psychosis, and in order to eke some growth in what is an unsafe, frequently contradictory and emotionally barren environment.For a child dependent on a caregiver who also abuses her, the only way to maintain the attachment is to block information about the abuse from the mental mechanisms that control attachment and attachment behaviour.10 Thus, childhood abuse is more likely to be forgotten or otherwise made inaccessible if the abuse is perpetuated by a parent or other trusted caregiver.In the dissociative individual, ‘there is no uniting self which can remember to forget’. Rather than use repression to avoid traumatizing memories, he/she resorts to alterations in the self ‘as a central and coherent organization of experience. . . DID involves not just an alteration in content but, crucially, a change in the very structure of consciousness and the self’ (p. 187).29 There may be multiple representations of the self and of others.Middleton, Warwick. "Owning the past, claiming the present: perspectives on the treatment of dissociative patients." Australasian Psychiatry 13.1 (2005): 40-49.

Warwick Middleton

Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the lives of children subject to organised victimisation (eg Bibby 1996b, Itziti 1997, Kelly and Regan 2000). Most attempts to examine organised abuse have been undertaken by therapists and social workers who have focused primarily on the role of psychological processes in the organised victimisation of children and adults. Dissociation, amnesia and attachment, in particular, have been identified as important factors that compel victims to obey their abusers whilst inhibiting them from disclosing their abuse or seeking help (see Epstein et al. 2011, Sachs and Galton 2008). Therapists and social workers have surmised that these psychological effects are purposively induced by perpetrators of organised abuse through the use of sadistic and ritualistic abuse. In this literature, perpetrators are characterised either as dissociated automatons mindlessly perpetuating the abuse that they, too, were subjected to as children, or else as cruel and manipulative criminals with expert foreknowledge of the psychological consequences of their abuses. The therapist is positioned in this discourse at the very heart of the solution to organised abuse, wielding their expertise in a struggle against the coercive strategies of the perpetrators. Whilst it cannot be denied that abusive groups undertake calculated strategies designed to terrorise children into silence and obedience, the emphasis of this literature on psychological factors in explaining organised abuse has overlooked the social contexts of such abuse and the significance of abuse and violence as social practices.

Michael Salter

Although psychology and pedagogy have always maintained the belief that a child is a happy being without any conflicts, and have assumed that the sufferings of adults are the results of the burdens and hardships of reality, it must be asserted that just the opposite is true. What we learn about the child and the adult through psychoanalysis shows that all the sufferings of later life are for the most part repetitions of these earlier ones, and that every child in the first years of life goes through and immeasurable degree of suffering.

Melanie Klein

young children, who for whatever reason are deprived of the continuous care and attention of a mother or a substitute-mother, are not only temporarily disturbed by such deprivation, but may in some cases suffer long-term effects which persistBowlby, J., Ainsworth, M., Boston, M., and Rosenbluth, D. (1956). The effects of mother-child separation: A follow-up study. British Journal of Medical Psychology, 29, 211-249.

John Bowlby

Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks:1. The ability to be emotionally attached to others, yet without giving up a sense of self and one‘s freedom to be apart, 2. The ability to say appropriate no's to others without fear of loss of love, 3. The ability to take appropriate no's from others without withdrawing emotionally. Noting these tasks, a friend said half-joking, "They need to learn this by age three? How about by fourty-three?" Yes, these are tall orders but boundary development is essential in the early years of life.

Henry Cloud

As a child, I was very careful not to erase my mother's writing on the chalkboard because I would miss her.

Joyce Rachelle

It’s sad to see how many relationships start as just a distraction from boredom, a cover up so they don’t have to ever deal with the true pain below

Evan Sutter

Secure attachment has been linked to a child's ability to successfully recover and prove resilient in the presence of a traumatic event.

Asa Don Brown

Attachment parenting, Sears writes, "immunizes children against many of the social and emotional diseases which plague our society," producing children who are "compassionate," "caring," "admirable," "affectionate," "confident," and "accomplished" ("faster than a speeding bullet," "more powerful than a locomotive," and "able to leap tall buildings in a single bound" seem to have been left off the list!).

Emily Matchar

A child's attachment process begins within the first year of life...

Asa Don Brown

Attachments that are not fostered may lend to the child's inability to properly attach or have no attachment at all.

Asa Don Brown

They say that people are innately afraid of those who need them, they say that people are afraid of "clingy-ness", afraid of attachment, afraid of being needed by another. But I beg to disagree. I believe that people, when looking at someone who is needy of them, see themselves and see their own fears and they go away because they can't handle those fears; it's their own neediness that they're afraid of! They're afraid to want and to need, because they're afraid of loss and of losing, so when they see these things in another, that's when they run away. Nobody is actually running away from other people; everybody is really running away from themselves!

C. JoyBell C.

My trouble is that I think there is a track that things should stay on. I'm hooked to a belief that life should go a certain way. I develop an attachment to Plan A and set up my expectations accordingly. An important part of spiritual practice is to learn to let go, to recognize that Plan A exists only in my head.

Denise Roy

My goal is not to upset the apple cart, but to make it more accessible.

Tom Althouse

Where do you see conflict in this world? Only where there is infatuation (attachment).

Dada Bhagwan

Space, like time, engenders forgetfulness; but it does so by setting us bodily free from our surroundings and giving us back our primitive, unattached state ... Time, we say, is Lethe; but change of air is a similar draught, and, if it works less thoroughly, does so more quickly.

Thomas Mann

Mind control is built on lies and manipulation of attachment needs.Valerie Sinason, (Forward)

Alison Miller

Desire also creates a sense of attachment in the mind. Not only are we attached to our way of thinking and of seeing the world, but we become over-attached to the people or things we desire.

Gyalwa Dokhampa

When people believe that the form is more important than the Truth, they will not find truth, but will stay with form.

Idries Shah

We are not what we do!

Ramana Pemmaraju

Taming attachment,does not mean becoming cold and disinterested. On the contrary, it means learning to have a composed control over our mind through understanding

Anupama Garg

Nostalgia has a way of blocking the reality of the past.

Shannon L. Alder

I don't see money as evil or good: how can illusion be evil or good? But I don't see heroin or meth as evil or good, either. Which is more addictive & debilitating, money or meth? Attachment to illusion makes you illusion, makes you not real. Attachment to illusion is called idolatry, called addiction.

Daniel Suelo

When you love someone, you end up caring about each and every person they love. When you hate someone, you end up caring about every single person who hates them.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Attachment is the source of pain, but detachment is the source of joy.

Debasish Mridha

To lose awareness of what is helpful or harmful in the worldly life is moh (Illusory vision & attachment).

Dada Bhagwan

Egoism’s nature is not Moha (Illusory attachment). Moha’s (Illusory attachment’s) nature is egoism. Moha is the origin of egoism.

Dada Bhagwan

When attachment increases too much, dislike will arise.

Dada Bhagwan

It is the nature of the circumstances to disperse. If there is attachment with the circumstance, there will be abhorrence when they get dispersed.

Dada Bhagwan

As illusory attachment (moha) spread, one sunk deeper and deeper into the pit.

Dada Bhagwan

Abhorrence is the cause for conflicts. God has said, ‘Do no abhorrence. If you don’t like it, ignore it’.

Dada Bhagwan

Who is free from illusory attachment (nirmohi)? The Gnani Purush (the enlightened one). He can see flesh and bones, through and through.

Dada Bhagwan

Causes for attachment are created at the very time abhorrence occurs. Familiarity (acquaintance) up to a certain point will result in attachment and if it reaches ‘ridge point’ & goes past further, it will result in abhorrence.

Dada Bhagwan

What is attraction (akarshan) in this world? It is open fire and one should be aware of it. Attraction is the open fire. The root of illusory attachment (moha) is indeed attraction.

Dada Bhagwan

Illusory attachment (moha) is indeed what will keep on biting you until the point of your demise!

Dada Bhagwan

Un-attachment (as opposed to detachment) is the acceptance that each and every person is responsible for his or her own reality, and that our joy, peace, security, and sense of love is not dependent on any other person or situation. We are each responsible for our own emotional well being.

Alaric Hutchinson

Detachment is being apathetic or aloof to other people, while un-attachment is acknowledging and honoring other people, while choosing not to let them influence your emotional well being. Detached would mean I do not care, while un-attached means I care, although I am not going to alter my emotional state due to your emotions, words, or actions.

Alaric Hutchinson

Everything that brings us well being is achieved through allowing ourselves to flow with life and be in harmony. Pain happens, it is our attachment to the pain and our resistance to change that causes suffering.

Alaric Hutchinson

When faced with contrast, take nothing personally and don’t try to defend yourself. Defending one’s self is a vibrational relative of guilt. People will think what they like; do not feed fuel to the fire by reacting. Simply ask questions for clarity and in response say ‘Is that so?’ Take responsibility for the energy you brought to the situation, acknowledge the illusions without attachment, and move forward. Other people’s opinions are none of your business. Remember that each person is on their own unique path, and the mirror of contrast you hold up to them may be exactly what is necessary for their conscious growth at that time.

Alaric Hutchinson

To be free of insistence [free of forcing one's own opinion] is the path of Vitragta [attachment-free state, the enlightened one]. Quit insisting at all places. To even insist on the truth, God has considered it as ignorance. There is no insistence in ‘Us’ whatsoever!

Dada Bhagwan

After getting respect, one will get an equal amount of insult, if not in this life then the next. If you taste even the slightest of pleasure from this body-complex [pudgal], you will have to pay back an equivalent amount. Therefore become attachment-free (vitarag).

Dada Bhagwan

Prakruti [the relative self, innate nature] has opinions and may store them but we should stay in an opinion-free state. ‘We’ are separate and the relative self is separate from us. ‘We’ should play our part as a separate entity. We shouldn’t get involved with those problems.

Dada Bhagwan

God has said for us to know bad, as bad and good, as good. But while knowing the bad, there should not be the slightest abhorrence towards it and while knowing the good, there should not be slightest attachment towards it. Without knowing bad, as bad, the good cannot be known as good.

Dada Bhagwan

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Attachment Quotes - Page 2

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