Ass Quotes

Three year in prison and a dick is just another thing to put up your ass.

Gotta love a woman that can hand you your own ass.

Penelope Douglas

I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.

Someday, I’ll gain telepathic powers like every other regular movie ghost and I will go all Freddie Krueger on his bony, little, rat arse!”I rolled my eyes, but kept marching down the street.“Then I’d have to go all Ghostbusters on yours.”, I tried to keep my voice low to keep from drawing attention to myself.“No, you wouldn’t. You love my arse, darling!”, he walked backwards few feet in front of me.His big smile was enough to make me grin and roll my eyes again at him.

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Save your ass, give my ass.... what a friend you are...

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You can't say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.

Allan Dare Pearce

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

John Kennedy Toole

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.

William Shakespeare

I've found that busting your ass on a daily basis to make your art good, clear, and meaningful creates the most luck.

Don Roff

The reason why a man cannot stop staring at a woman ass is only because God has spent 80 percent of his time and efforts on woman ass and 20 percent on her entire body.

When the world kicks your ass, don't step in line.book: stuff i think about

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there.

Sitting to think of what to write will only set your ass on fire, give you headache, twist your face to look stupid, instead, walk around with a blank mind and something from somewhere will fill it up.

Michael Bassey Johnson

I'm not a religious man, but I do worship your ass.

Are you going to spank me, daddy? I'm a very bad girl! (bending over naked)"Oh yeah daddy - spank my ass harder!!!

The ass is the face of the soul of sex.

Charles Bukowski

What the hell was that?” he asked no-one in particular. “Did they ram us?”“Uh – negative, sir.” Marnetti offered, reading an instrumental assessment from his display, “It seems we were hit by some kind of pulse wave generated by their jump.”“Their jump? – You mean by arriving they nearly killed us?”Marnetti nodded, continuing, “Range 0.5 kilometers, Captain. Holding steady. No recognized weapons activity.”“Damage report.” He ordered, feeling his way back into his seat, eyes glued to the viewscreen.“Shield 2 down, 1 is buckling.” Pluddeman choked.“Power stable, all systems holding steady,” Marnetti added, now rubbing some bruises.“Any communications?”“Nothing, sir. Static on all frequencies.”“What are they doing?”“Nothing, sir. Waiting maybe.”“Waiting, my ass!” Dayne barked. “They must be sizing us up!

Christina Engela

My heart can see the ass in you.

Art can blow us out of our pigeon hole. In deafness it may shout or scream, in blindness it may arrest our attention, in numbness it may shake up our mind. If we don’t sense anything at all and take everything for granted, art can kick us in the ass, give a conscience and make us aware. ("When is Art?")

Erik Pevernagie

Everything is about disclosure.... chemistry... love.... reaction... you can't do anything.......A pain... a biatch... pain the ass... two women... what next?

Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass.

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

Anthony Liccione

Edwyn can almost feel his testicles crawling up his ass.

Cornelius Moore