Rwanda will never ever leave me. It’s in the pores of my body. My soul is in those hills, my spirit is with the spirits of all those people who were slaughtered and killed that I know of, and many that I didn’t know. … Fifty to sixty thousand people walking in the rain and the mud to escape being killed, and seeing a person there beside the road dying. We saw lots of them dying. And lots of those eyes still haunt me, angry eyes or innocent eyes, no laughing eyes. But the worst eyes that haunt me are the eyes of those people who were totally bewildered. They’re looking at me with my blue beret and they’re saying, “What in the hell happened? We were moving towards peace. You were there as the guarantor” — their interpretation — “of the mandate. How come I’m dying here?” Those eyes dominated and they’re absolutely right. How come I failed? How come my mission failed? How come as the commander who has the total responsibility– We learn that, it’s ingrained in us, because when we take responsibility it means the responsibility of life and death, of humans that we love.
Rwanda will never ever leave me. It’s in the pores of my body. My soul is in those hills, my spirit is with the spirits of all those people who were slaughtered and killed that I know of, and many that I didn’t know. … Fifty to sixty thousand people walking in the rain and the mud to escape being killed, and seeing a person there beside the road dying. We saw lots of them dying. And lots of those eyes still haunt me, angry eyes or innocent eyes, no laughing eyes. But the worst eyes that haunt me are the eyes of those people who were totally bewildered. They’re looking at me with my blue beret and they’re saying, “What in the hell happened? We were moving towards peace. You were there as the guarantor” — their interpretation — “of the mandate. How come I’m dying here?” Those eyes dominated and they’re absolutely right. How come I failed? How come my mission failed? How come as the commander who has the total responsibility– We learn that, it’s ingrained in us, because when we take responsibility it means the responsibility of life and death, of humans that we love.
