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to live asubstance-freelife under thepressures ofthe daily grindis state-sponsoredsuicide

Phil Volatile
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Failure is the new success.
Phil Volatile
America—where we hate our fathers, love our mothers, andeveryone is hung up on tryingto be a man
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We had scar-tissueromance and ours wasa relationship of sayinggoodbye—every timewe fought, every timewe fucked, and every timewe called it quits, beforepicking up our knivesagain
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I pawned the remote to my misery,trading it in for liquor that was cheap;screwdrivers for my vitamin c,and a little bloodstream to my IV,helping to soothe my lunacy
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Now I’msober and Irealize, Ididn’t drink toescape the world,I drank to escapemyself
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I traded in myfreedom fora needy, whinyand defiantfour-year-old,a junky girlfriend,and a relationshipriddled withsomeone else’sproblemsNow, I stareout of openwindows likea wild mustangcraving openfieldsI clench mycrotch, wheremy ballsused to be,and I hum aloathsome tune,like an out-of-work castratowho’s realized his dreams of someday having his own familyare gone
Phil Volatile
It’s sadthat burnt marshmallowsmake me think ofmethamphetamine,when theyshould bringback childhoodmemories ofs’mores
Phil Volatile
Too many codeine pills,Too many nights of cold chillsToo many weak-handed dealsToo many lives, the addict steals
Phil Volatile
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