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Beauty is only skin deep, but who gives a shit what’s under their skin anyway?

Lois Greiman
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Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.
Lois Greiman
If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the roots, you either married it or gave birth to it
Lois Greiman
You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet.
Lois Greiman
You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.
Lois Greiman
When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.
Lois Greiman
I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms.
Lois Greiman
Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.
Lois Greiman
He's just a flash in the pants.
Lois Greiman
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