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Father reading report card: One thing in your favor – with these grades you couldn’t possibly be cheating.

Jacob Braude
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By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball he can't hit that far.
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speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.
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speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.
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There's another advantage in being poor. The doctor will cure you faster.
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The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.
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she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.
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Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over the strings are still attached.
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Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
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