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California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.

Fred Allen
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More Quotes From Fred Allen

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
Fred Allen
The first Sunday I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get except the blinding headaches.
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She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.
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(A gentleman) is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
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I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
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The first Sunday I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.
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