Quotes by Satirists - Page 7

In times of stress be bold and valiant.
Horace
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
Jonathan Swift
Never undertake anything for which you wouldn't have the courage to ask the blessings of heaven.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Neither have they hearts to stay Nor wit enough to run away.
Samuel Butler
A statesman who is enamored of existing evils as distin-quished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Ambrose Bierce
Conscience is thoroughly well-bred and soon leaves off talking to those who do not wish to hear it.
Samuel Butler
Complaint is the largest tribute Heaven receives.
Jonathan Swift
When two people compliment each other with the choice of anything each of them generally gets that which he likes least.
Alexander Pope
We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.
Jonathan Swift
She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork.
Jonathan Swift
People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted and at seeing it practised.
Samuel Butler
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbour.
Ambrose Bierce
When to elect there is but one Tis Hobson's Choice take that or none.
Thomas Ward
That charity which longs to publish itself ceases to be charity.
Ulrich von Hutton
Abstainer: a weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce
I can generally bear the separation but I don't like the leave-taking.
Samuel Butler
The first springs of great events like those of great rivers are often mean and little.
Jonathan Swift
Barbaric accuracy - whimpering humility.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it.
Ambrose Bierce
I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.
Jonathan Swift
Bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Ambrose Bierce
The oldest books are still only just out to those who have not read them.
Samuel Butler
A book is a mirror: if an ass peers into it you can't expect an apostle to look out.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes.
Samuel Butler
I keep my books at the British Museum and at Mudies.
Samuel Butler
There's none so blind as they that won't see.
Jonathan Swift
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Well begun is half done.
Horace
An incurable itch for scribbling takes possession of many and grows inveterate in their insane breasts.
Juvenal
A picture is a poem without words.
Horace
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy.
Jonathan Swift
The echo of a platitude.
Ambrose Bierce
She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Jonathan Swift
The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler
Anger is momentary madness so control your passion or it will control you.
Horace
America once had the clarity of a pioneer axe.
Robert Osborn
When you reach your sixties you have to decide whether you're going to be a sot or an ascetic. In other words if you want to go on working after you're sixty some degree of asceticism is inevitable.
Malcolm Muggeridge
No wise man ever wished to be younger.
Jonathan Swift
Zsa Zsa Gabor when asked which of the Gabor women was the oldest said "She'll never admit it but I believe it is Mama." When men grow virtuous in their old age they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.
Jonathan Swift
Dignity high station or great riches are in some sort necessary to old men in order to keep the younger at a distance who are otherwise too apt to insult them upon the score of their age.
Jonathan Swift
Whatever advice you give be short.
Horace
Adversity reveals genius prosperity conceals it.
Horace
Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.
Horace
I never knew any man in my life who could not bear another's misfortunes perfectly like a Christian.
Alexander Pope
When the world has once begun to use us ill it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony as men do to a whore.
Jonathan Swift
For fools admire but men of sense approve.
Alexander Pope
Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Ambrose Bierce
The whole motivation for any performer is 'Look at me Ma.'
Lenny Bruce
Better to accept whatever happens.
Horace
What it is forbidden to be put right becomes lighter by acceptance.
Horace
One's first step in wisdom is to question everything one's last is to come to terms with everything.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
People are lucky and unlucky ... according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect.
Samuel Butler
He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.
Horace
He who makes fun of a short and fat man’s weight is much less cruel than he who makes fun of his height.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
With these words there came the rending scream of a shattered stirk and an angry troubling of the branches as the poor madman percolated through the sieve of a sharp yew, a wailing black meteor hurtling through green clouds, a human prickles.
Flann O'Brien
A killer is someone who killed another without their country’s permission.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are all 'foreigners' to [the remainder of: the human race minus our countrymen].
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Theist and atheist: The fight between them is as to whether God shall be called God or shall have some other name.
Samuel Butler
Insurance companies sell what might happen tomorrow. Historians sell what certainly happened yesterday.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A model is an actor without a voice.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana