Quotes by Satirists - Page 2

Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I am usually able to tolerate all kinds of victims of indoctrination except those who have been infected with xenophobia, racism, or homophobia.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A tapping foot isn’t the best a listener can get from a song: A good song makes a listener dance. A great song makes him think.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An angry artist tells people what (he thinks) they need to hear. A hungry artist tells people what (he thinks) they want to hear.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To most Americans, a dog is a potential mate. To some Chinese, a dog is potential meat.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are all born agnostics. Atheism and theism is sold to us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Contrary to popular belief, some animals would not have each chosen to be a human being, if they were given the choice between being what they are and being human.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To a blind man, pawn shop and porn shop are one. To an unintelligent man, oversleeping and sleeping over are opposites.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Thou shalt not use the 140 characters limit as an excuse for bad grammar and/or incorrect spelling.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being shy is a symptom of a low self-esteem.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are—to most people—not important at all.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The rich are poor without the poor's acknowledgment of money.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To a misogynist: To err is woman.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Poverty has deceived many of us into believing that some people who are in that state love the food, clothes, places, and people that they do not even like. The same can be said about wealth.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There’s a correlation between the number of digits on a man’s bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In many a case, the phrase ‘I’d like to get to know you better’ is a euphemism for ‘I want us to fuck.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Technically, you cannot really own a book you bought; you can only own the sheets of paper your copy is printed on; unless, of course, you are the book’s publisher.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Today, the world rewards those with creative and intellectual muscles. So, women and skinny men need to shut up and start thinking.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In a materialistic society, man is likely to value the opinion of a rich man over that of a poor one; even when coming to opinions that have absolutely nothing to do with moneymaking.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A ‘normal person’ is what is left after society has squeezed out all unconventional opinions and aspirations out of a human being.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Needs are imposed by nature. Wants are sold by society.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is absolutely nothing feminine about the colour pink, or, anything bad-luck'ish about the colour black — in itself.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Feminists who accept the claim made in The Book of Genesis, and, that God is a he, need to make their minds up.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When coming to making kids: Size doesn’t count, it’s sperm count that counts.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Morals are nothing but a civilized society’s attempt to tame some beast called man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with, or, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When coming to sex: First served, first come.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A horny man is seen. A horny woman is heard.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life occasionally humbles us by making us turned on by someone whom we turn off.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
AIDS would have claimed fewer lives if we had publicly recommended what I wish to call ‘The Presumption of Sickness,’ i.e., the principle that whomever we are about to sleep with is HIV-positive until proven HIV-negative.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some women would not have contracted an STD or STDs had they not been on the pill.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Man cannot be homophobic without having concerned himself with another’s sex life.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Nothing complements a fast mind better than a slow tongue. And nothing aggravates a slow mind better than a fast tongue.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Technology has transformed the world into a global village. And communities, families, friends, etc., into local islands.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Millions of deaths would not have happened if it weren’t for the consumption of alcohol. The same can be said about millions of births.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only reason that some people aren’t ashamed of their parents and/or siblings is because they know that we know that they did not choose them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
*Prostitution* is a euphemism for rape incidents that the victim and the economy profits from.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A poor but confident man is as hard to find as a rich but shy man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is only if the primary or only reason you do what you do is to make money that you will envy every random person who made or makes a lot of money (or money that exceeds what you made or make).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In some cases, it is the woman’s stomach—not her heart—that has left her man for another.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In many cases, it was the woman’s stomach—not her heart—that fell for her man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You cannot really get married by mistake. You can only marry the wrong person.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When you love someone, you end up caring about each and every person they love. When you hate someone, you end up caring about every single person who hates them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Besides what endless brawls by wives are bred,The curtain lecture makes a mournful bed.
Juvenal
If God really valued loyalty, He would have blessed every single believer before He even considered blessing a single nonbeliever.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are, or rather our natural desire to evade pain and to attain pleasure is, the primary reason we do or say every single thing we do or say.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is nothing inherently painful about being cheated on.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Alcohol is one of the quickest vehicles with which we escape shyness, our problems, and self-consciousness, for a few hours.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Culture is a symbolic veil with which we hide our animal nature from ourselves … and other animals.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It was a music of the spirit, seeking peace, not emotional release, expressing the hunger of the soul rather than the heart. A way of sequencing notes so ancient it might be music's mother lode, its Fertile Crescent. It wouldn't have grated, I felt, on the ears of ancient Greeks or Egyptians or Mesopotamians or Sumerians—or even on the august auditory equipment of the Buddha or Lao-tzu.
Tony Hendra
The Offices rerooted me in a tradition where, monk or not, I would always be at home. From long ago I knew the power of their repetition, the incantatory force of the Psalms. But they had an added power now. As a kid, the psalmist (or psalmists) had seemed remote to me, the Psalms long prayers which sometimes rose to great poetry but often had simply to be endured. For a middle-aged man, the psalmists' moods and feelings came alive. One of the voices sounded a lot like a modern New Yorker, me or people I knew: a manic-depressive type A personality sometimes up, more often down, sometimes resigned, more often pissed off, railing about his sneaky enemies and feckless friends, always bitching to the Lord about the rotten hand he'd been dealt. That good old changelessness.
Tony Hendra
It sounds to me, dear, as if your satirist is a bit like a monk. They both take a rather dim view of the world, and both try to do something abou
Tony Hendra
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
Looks sure can be deceiving: not every ‘ugly’ person is a ‘bad’ person (or is guilty of whatever it is that they are accused of).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only way to truly help most drug addicts and most alcoholics is to—instead of them—change reality.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana