Quotes by Authors - Page 5038

You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I'd be shooting myself in the head if I were you.
Jeaniene Frost
Yo, cop. We're heading for Screamer's. You wanna come?" Butch looked up at the doorway. Vishous was in the hall with Rhage and Phury behind him. The vampires had expectant looks on their faces, like they honestly wanted to hang with him. Butch found himself grinning like the new kid who didn't have to sit alone at lunch after all.
J.R. Ward
- Did you really save the world ?...- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.
Jim Butcher
No," said Luis, "You can't date the Lord of the Night Court.""Well, I'm not, he dumped me.""You can't get dumped by the lord of the night court.""Oh, yes, you can. You so completely can.
Holly Black
And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked.
Jane Austen
That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Puck said."How cool will it be when it kills us?" Sabrina asked."Considerably less cool," Puck replied.
Michael Buckley
One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later aditions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.
Douglas Adams
Winston Gallagher!" I said, recognizing the first ghost I'de met. Then my eyes narrowed & I covered my hand in front of my crotch as I saw Winstons gaze fasten there next. "Don't even think about poltergeisting my panties again". "This is the sod? Come here you scurvy little--" "Bones don't!" I interrupted. He stopped, giving a last glare to him while mouthing YOU. ME. EXORCIST. before returning to my side.
Jeaniene Frost
It's not reasonable to love people who are only going to die," she said.Nash thought about that for a moment, stroking Small's neck with great deliberation, as if the fate of the Dells depended on that smooth, careful movement."I have two responses to that," he said finally. "First, everyone's going to die. Second, love is stupid. It has nothing to do with reason. You love whomever you love. Against all reasons I loved my father." He looked at her keenly. "Did you love yours?""Yes," she whispered.He stroked Small's nose. "I love you," he said, "even knowing you'll never have me. And I love my brother, more than I ever realized before you came along. You can't help whom you love, Lady. Nor can you know what it's liable to cause you to do."She made a connection then. Surprised she sat back from him and studied his face, soft with shadows and light. She saw a part of him she hadn't seen before."You came to me for lessons to guard your mind," she said, "and you stopped asking me to marry you, both at the same time. You did those things out of love for your brother.""Well" he said, looking a bit sheepishly at the floor. "I also took a few swings at him, but that's neither here nor there.""You're good at love," she said simply, because it seemed to her that it was true. "I'm not so good at love. I'm like a barbed creature. I push everyone I love away."He shrugged. "I don't mind you pushing me away if it means you love me, little sister.
Kristin Cashore
It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, there's a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopediea Brittannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more 'numinous' than the Ressurection. Do they know how to have a good time, or don't they?
Carl Sagan
You can't save everyone, though God knows you try.
Richelle Mead
Easy. Peasy
P.C. Cast
I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly.
Dan Howell
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.
Darynda Jones
She's under duress," Peaseblossom said."I don't care if she's under duress, over it, or alongside it," Moth said. "Nothing in this world supersedes cake.
Lisa Mantchev
Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name.“Does your mother call you Pigeon?”“No.”“Then to me you are Paul.”...“Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read.“My mother never calls me Nathan.”“Is it Nate?”“She calls me Honeylips.
Brandon Mull
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
I hate patience. Slows everything down.
J D ROBB
Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who's about to sit down to a lonely meal of Weight Watchers past primavera she's just nuked in the microwave. Every woman who will get into bed tonight with a book or reruns of Sex and the City as her only companion. You are our shining hope....But no pressure.
Nora Roberts
Wizard Howl," said Wizard Suliman. "I must apologize for trying to bite you so often. In the normal way, I wouldn't dream of setting teeth in a fellow countryman.
Diana Wynne Jones
Walking around nude in front of humans was not a good way to keep a low profile with the community. It was an excellent way to make new friends, though.
Rachel Vincent
You're such a cynic," Molly said."I think cynics are playful and cute.
Jim Butcher
Are You Ready for New Urban Fragrances?Yeah, I guess I'm ready, but listen:Perfume is a disguise. Since the middle ages, we have worn masks of fruit and flowers in order to conceal from ourselves the meaty essence of our humanity. We appreciate the sexual attractant of the rose, the ripeness of the orange, more than we honor our own ripe carnality.Now today we want to perfume our cities, as well; to replace their stinging fumes of disturbed fossils' sleep with the scent of gardens and orchards. Yet, humans are not bees any more than they are blossoms. If we must pull an olfactory hood over our urban environment, let it be of a different nature.I want to travel on a train that smells like snowflakes.I want to sip in cafes that smell like comets.Under the pressure of my step, I want the streets to emit the precise odor of a diamond necklace.I want the newspapers I read to smell like the violins left in pawnshops by weeping hobos on Christmas Eve.I want to carry luggage that reeks of the neurons in Einstein's brain.I want a city's gases to smell like the golden belly hairs of the gods.And when I gaze at a televised picture of the moon, I want to detect, from a distance of 239,000 miles, the aroma of fresh mozzarella.
Tom Robbins
Laurel, David? Would you like to share the joke with the rest of the class?" he asked, one hand on his skinny hip.
Aprilynne Pike
I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.”...“Of course you’re fine.” She keeps walking. “You’re the devil’s bride and these are his creatures.”...“I’m not the devil’s bride.” “He carried you out of the fire and is letting you visit us from the dead. Who else would have those privileges except his bride?
Susan Ee
She blew out a breath between gritted teeth. “Sometimes I really want to”—a frustrated sound—“bite you!” He froze. “I might let you.” “I won’t do it if you’d enjoy it.
Nalini Singh
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
To me you are a work of art, and I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.
Morrissey
Hallucinations are bad enough. But after awhile you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip-the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into the Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs.
Hunter S. Thompson
And Flock Rule Number Two is, Don't argue with Max or you'll live to regret it." I spun and stomped out to the clearing, turning back for one last jab at Dylan. "And by the way, you clearly DON'T know me better than Fang does. Do you see Fang arguing with me? No, you do not."Fang rolled his eyes.
James Patterson
Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy.
Rick Riordan
If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork.
Rick Riordan
The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.
Bauvard
He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap."Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security....Turn around, please.""What?""Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!""You have GOT to be kidding.""Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn.
Rachel Caine
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so.""It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.
P.G. Wodehouse
Let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. If he doesn't automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don't get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get hid behind out of the driver's seat and come round and open the car door for you. That's his job!
Steve Harvey
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P.G. Wodehouse
There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy?
Chelsea M. Cameron
Anthony looked down at his evil clutches -- hands, he reminded himself, hands -- and grinned anew.
Julia Quinn
Do you always ask me the same questions you ask him?""It depends on whether or not I get an answer.
Anne Bishop
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry
Heifer.”“Rich man’s whore!”“At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.”“Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean!
Shelly Laurenston
You weren't afraid of me when I was Wolf," he said. "Why are you afraid of Nathan?""He's got big feet!""What?"An insulted-sounding arrroooo came from the other side of the door, a reminder that Wolves also had big ears.
Anne Bishop
When did you become a woman?"-HatoriHow dare you ask that after you have seen me naked so many times..."-YukiGASP! No it cant be! Yuki-kun, does that mean..." fan club girlsNO! He's my doctor..."Yuki
Natsuki Takaya
Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can't seem to shake the phrases "watever" and "no way," and they insert the word like into so many sentences that the other elves start slapping them...and for no apparent reason occasionally call out the name Edward Cullen.
Janette Rallison
However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they're zombies.
Meg Cabot
He was a writer and words were his weapons.
Christopher Moore
Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!
J.K. Rowling
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
Jasper Fforde
It was beautiful in a harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish kind of way.
Rick Riordan
Maybe we should go on lots of double dates,” Cath said, “and then we can get married on the same day in a double ceremony, in matching dresses, and the four of us will light the unity candle all at the same time.”“Pfft,” Levi said, “I’m picking out my own dress.
Rainbow Rowell
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
Jean Kerr
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen
Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes--unfortunately--it's hard to choose which one of the two I want to do.Sigh. LIfe can be so tough sometimes.
Brandon Sanderson
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.
Rachel Caine
Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.
Darynda Jones
The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
I'm not senile," I snapped. "If I burn the house down it will be on purpose.
Margaret Atwood