W.C.Fields Quotes

It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.
W.C.Fields
Women are like elephants. They are interesting to look at but I wouldn't like to own one.
W.C.Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C.Fields
If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
W.C.Fields
When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes I'll get another lawyer."
W.C.Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W.C.Fields
No man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it by making a dog play dead.
W.C.Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W.C.Fields
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W.C.Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
W.C.Fields
I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.
W.C.Fields
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.
W.C.Fields
We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee water milk soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing I will make mine whisky.
W.C.Fields
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
W.C.Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W.C.Fields
IF A THING IS WORTH HAVING, ITS WORTH CHEATING FOR.
W.C.Fields
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W.C.Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W.C.Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally.
W.C.Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W.C.Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W.C.Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W.C.Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W.C.Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W.C.Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W.C.Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W.C.Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C.Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
W.C.Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C.Fields