Matthew Heines Quotes

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Ferguson Riots" They were ready to tear America to shreds over their grief-right until the TV cameras left to cover the football games.
Matthew Heines
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Patriot Act" In theater and football, it's the last act before it's curtains for Seahawks opponents.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Friendship" The only ship that can weather any storm.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "New Year's Eve" The last day you can do all the things you are resolving to give up-until you give up on your New Year's resolutions.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages "The Marshawn" US Army's new main battle tank. Runs over enemies instead of shooting them. Biggest expense: maintaining the dreadlocks hanging off the turret.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages "Car Commercials" One of the last times you're ever gonna see that overpriced s-box not stuck in a traffic jam.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Wildlife Education" When I was a kid, the only woodland creature I knew of was the squirrel. I guess that's why no one believed me when I told them a squirrel just ate two of my friends.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Ski-ing" The act of visiting Polish people.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "BS" Has now replaced death, worthless IOU's and ignorance as America's number one export.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Soylent Green" No matter how many times I see that movie, I still get a hankerin' for a Big Mac.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "True Nobility" Comes not from thinking one is better than others-it comes from working toward the betterment of all.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Hillary" Has replaced the term "battle-axe" to describe an undesirable mother-in-law in 37 languages.
Matthew Heines
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Tom Brady's balls" Nothing more than a publicity stunt to keep the NFL Network from losing San Francisco's market share.
Matthew Heines
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Wilson or Brady?" The writing is on the ball...
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Rainier" A beer and a mountain. You drink enough of one and the next day you feel like you fell off the other.All next week Wisdom of the Ages will be featuring the Seattle Seahawks and Super Bowl Topics. Tomorrow's Topic: "Tom Brady's Balls.
Matthew Heines
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Unger Games" If your meals depend on you beating the Seahawks, you're gonna go "'Unger-y.
Matthew Heines
Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Tooth Fairy" Growing up in the Northwest was tough. For years I thought the Tooth Fairy was a big boat with cars and sharp teeth.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "The Pope and Congress" It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages "News People" Always joking around and happy. I guess that proves that ignorance really is bliss.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Virtual Reality" A fairly plausible explanation for the abundance of Virtual People running around these days.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Women" Any culture that has supported the education, rights and sanctity of women has dominated those cultures who have not. As Lycurgus the Spartan lawgiver once said, "Strong women make strong men.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Look out Below!" Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan.
Matthew Heines