Lenny Bruce Quotes

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Lenny Bruce

I won't say ours was a tough school but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like "What I'm Going to Be if I Grow Up."

Lenny Bruce

The whole motivation for any performer is 'Look at me Ma.'

Lenny Bruce

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

Lenny Bruce

(On his addiction to opiods): I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

Lenny Bruce

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like "What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up

Lenny Bruce

If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.

Lenny Bruce

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

Lenny Bruce

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Lenny Bruce

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Lenny Bruce

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Lenny Bruce

There are never enough 'I love you's.

Lenny Bruce