Josh Stern Quotes - Page 2

If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse
Josh Stern
Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what
Josh Stern
An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet
Josh Stern
Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy
Josh Stern
Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings
Josh Stern
Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..' I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over
Josh Stern
It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light
Josh Stern
If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway
Josh Stern
Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling
Josh Stern
If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?
Josh Stern
Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack
Josh Stern
Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
Josh Stern
Manners without sincerity, is called polite society
Josh Stern
Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."
Josh Stern
In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?
Josh Stern
Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable
Josh Stern
If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane
Josh Stern
Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs
Josh Stern
It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing
Josh Stern
Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down
Josh Stern
The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard
Josh Stern
If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....
Josh Stern
If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....
Josh Stern
When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door
Josh Stern