Johnny Carson Quotes

If life was fair Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking drinking sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Johnny Carson

Just be yourself -- it's the only way it can work.

Johnny Carson

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Johnny Carson

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Johnny Carson