David W. Earle Quotes

Codependency is a learned set of behaviors, thought processes, and habits. When combined together, they fit a very loose definition. All people exhibit these traits to some degree, but some of us allow them to dictate our relationships with others and ourselves.
David W. Earle
Being judgmental is a form of attack keeping others off balance.
David W. Earle
Boundary violations are deeply experienced.
David W. Earle
With improved coping skills forged through my midlife crisis, I now listen first and do not control, and I allow these now adult children to come to their own conclusions about what they want for their lives.
David W. Earle
Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming they are second best, not enough. This is a painful realization so often they hide behind righteous arrogance.
David W. Earle
Our minds have a great capacity for deception. This does not mean we are necessarily dishonest but if we are not careful, when our brains do not have answers, our minds will create them.
David W. Earle
Like an empty bucket, my soul rings hollow when empty vibrates with emptiness … hollow sound of loneliness. Every cell in my body does not want to be alone.My loneliness is frightening …an all consuming thought.
David W. Earle
Only then can I fly.Only then can I be free -when Ilet go of me.
David W. Earle
This wonderful gray of acceptance resides between the extremes of black and white thinking; looking for serenity, explore the gray. Part of that acceptance is understanding that life is hard and involves life and death. Part of that acceptance is that I am responsible for my actions.
David W. Earle
Is God like the Greek god, Zeus, sending down lightning bolts to cause catastrophic events? Does God decree when tragic or untimely deaths occur? Does God have a list and when your time is up, you die? Is it “God’s will” these events happen? On the other hand, do tragic events happen because of laws of nature or the law of averages?
David W. Earle
World’s definition of successmaterial validation of selfcold and naked substitutefor inner warmth and beauty.
David W. Earle
Twirling round ‘n round -faster and faster …she dreams this circular motionwill take her home, high in the heavens where hurt is onlyan earthly world.
David W. Earle
The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results…you become a doormat. We have actually trained others to do this when we will allow people to wipe their muddy feet on us. After all, we are doormats.
David W. Earle
Acceptance is the most beautiful word in any language; this beautiful concept can only exist when you allow other people to be who they are and do not imprison them with your definition of what is right, proper, correct, or other limiting criteria. Decreasing the black and white in your thinking allows for an expansive area of gray, allowing you to live your life and others to live there life. Acceptance sets us all free! This simple change of thought creates a wonderful space for happiness to thrive.
David W. Earle
Being able to say, “No,” is a necessary ingredient in a healthy lifestyle.
David W. Earle
Everyone needs a place to be honest.
David W. Earle
Children have empty erasable white boards upon which big people write indelibly imprinted messages into their tender subconscious minds.
David W. Earle
This imbalance causes resentments within the over-responsible and dependency with the irresponsible person and this dynamic becomes the destructive life-pattern not conducive to happy families.
David W. Earle
Change is threatening to the status quo.
David W. Earle
Acceptance” is the most beautiful word in the English language.
David W. Earle
Why would God create a defective product? Why would a God who gave me free will require any certain belief? Why would a God powerful enough to create the universe need me to justify His existence? Why would He want me seeking favor with Him to manipulate my entrance to some afterlife?
David W. Earle
The more judgmental a person is the sadder they are.
David W. Earle
Consider letting go of the barriers between yourself and others, let go of the definition our culture has inflicted upon us and allow the best part of ourselves to connect with the wondrous parts of others. Allow yourself to connect in a deeper and more profound way.
David W. Earle
When I learned about the gray existing between the black and white of absolute terms, I began to experience more peace. The more I expanded my gray areas (more than 50 shades), the more peace I experienced in my life.
David W. Earle
If one looks at a balancing scale putting “fear of change” on one side and “status quo” on the other, they are often in balance. Change is hard. We tend to accept our condition and no matter how painful, we will not change until the balancing scale is tipped - only when the discomfort becomes greater than the fear of change does the scale tip.
David W. Earle
Late one night, during a toss-and-turn fretful sleep, I pondered my crisis. No solutions were on the horizon. I, again, wasted my psychic energy with prayer. Nothing. No angel on a white cloud. No rainbow’s pot of gold. No way to control the people I loved. As I rolled over and put the pillow over my head attempting to block all that was negative, I silently screamed for rescue. Then, in a far away and distinct part of my brain, a small voice said, “You have to do this on your own.”I thought, “Was that the best You can do?” This god, to whom I was desperately sending burnt offerings of my own humiliation, couldn’t send an avenging angel or a wise man imparting wisdom? All You can give me is this feeble message of abandonment? At that moment, I quit believing in that god.
David W. Earle
It was His gentle voice who calledand sent His angel pain to guide me, through the long ‘n dusty corridors, and empty hallways of my soul.
David W. Earle
Often self-love is replaced with self- loathing, compounded by beating ourselves up. We become experts at putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, and finding fault. This creates deep shame that says “I am a mistake” instead of saying “I made a mistake.
David W. Earle
This woman’s size protected herfrom the hurts of the worldbut it also imprisoned her soul. As the merry-go-round revolved, she ate another French fry,as a silent scream frozen on her face.
David W. Earle
A spiritual hell I lived in … hating the God of love and knowing the god I served … hated me!
David W. Earle
Her screams are heard across generations who dared not scream and died without joy,in silence and isolation.
David W. Earle
They sought the pain they knew so well and called it love.
David W. Earle
When life beats us down, we often do not feel worthwhile to ourselves nor to anyone else. Often, we try to hide our feelings of inadequacy in pursuit of perfection, which develops into self-loathing. If only we can be perfect, then we can be okay.
David W. Earle
For example, I can doubt that 2 + 2 = 4; however, my doubting does not change the equation. When I test out that formula and find that it is true, then that becomes my reality. How can anything become real until it is tested in the crucible of doubt?
David W. Earle
To be free to roam our own consciousness and be responsible for ourselves, a letting go process is required. We have to let go of how others define us; what damaging messages remain from childhood; how others define our relationship with the creator; and what expectations they may have for us.
David W. Earle
Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families.
David W. Earle
For many years, I searched for this connection outside of myself but always to no avail. It was only when I turned inward did I find this power.
David W. Earle
I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization - simple but explosive.
David W. Earle
We can be safe and live with other defined truths exemplified by a capital “T” or we can change and with our limited time experience truth with a small “t,” seeking our own understanding, which can change with new awareness.
David W. Earle
If one wants to be loved and return it full score dagger of silence closes the door.
David W. Earle
What this world needs now… more balloons and clowns
David W. Earle
People pay a dear price when not dealing with the powerful emotions.
David W. Earle
Our parents were our first gods. If parents are loving, nurturing, and kind, this becomes the child’s definition of the creator. If parents were controlling, angry, and manipulative, then this becomes their definition.
David W. Earle
Wounded parents often unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on their children and these childhood wounds causes a laundry list of maladaptive behaviors commonly called codependency. These habits restrict people to love-limiting relationships causing much unhappiness and distress.
David W. Earle
This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty.
David W. Earle
We violated each other’s boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of “just kidding.
David W. Earle
When I looked at myself through the prism of awareness, great tears came as I connected with how this wounded child felt.
David W. Earle
When one person attempts to “fix it” for the other person, the connection of acceptance is snapped and the sender and receiver miss an opportunity for understanding.
David W. Earle
People build defenses around a weakness, not around strength. Where self-esteem is strong, a defense is unnecessary.
David W. Earle
When this low self-worth is hidden, one can understand why the person becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others and has a great deal of difficulty accepting criticism no matter how warranted or gently said.
David W. Earle
It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: “I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already rejected me, but if you knew how flawed I am, you would also reject me…and since this is all I have, I could not stand any more rejection. I am not worthy of someone understanding me so you will not get the chance...so I must judge, reject, attack, and/or find fault with you. I don’t accept me so how can I accept you?
David W. Earle
There are two ways of thinking. One is living life based on fear. The other is trusting. Letting go and allowing trust to control our lives takes mental gymnastics.
David W. Earle
In order for a person to be able to “turn our lives and our wills” over requires something very difficult for a spiritually wounded person to accomplish - Trust. Yet, to accomplish this step, trust of the spirit must be present.
David W. Earle
When you wear a mask, you are not real.
David W. Earle
Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built.
David W. Earle
Black and white thinking limits understanding and feedback, two necessary ingredients for successful resolution in creative conflict and successful understanding.
David W. Earle
People who are unwilling to talk about deep personal issues do not trust their own emotions.
David W. Earle
The strange part about a person’s lack of trust is that it often comes from not trusting themselves.
David W. Earle
When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned.
David W. Earle
Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face…”What will I learn?
David W. Earle