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June 30, 1978
American
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Author
June 30, 1978
It's been nice knowing you, Clara.'Huh? My brain still a bit shell-shocked.'Say a prayer for me, will you? He gives me a shaky grin. Because I'm pretty sure my parents are going to kill me
Cynthia Hand
Shawshank’s good,” he says. “But you can’t beat the way Woody Harrelson kills zombies. He takes such joy in it.”“Uh-huh,” I say, making a face. “I’ve always found zombies to be the least threatening of the scary monsters. I mean, come on. They’re slow. They’re brain-dead. They don’t plot evil or try to take over the world. They just—” I put my arms out in front of me and give him my best zombie groan. I shake my head. “So not scary.”“But they just. Keep. Coming,” Christian says. “You can run, you can kill them, but more of them always pop up, and they never stop.” He shudders. “And they try to eat you, and if you get bitten, that’s it—you’re infected. You’re doomed to become a zombie yourself. End of story.”“Okay,” I concede, “they’re kind of scary,” and now I’m vaguely disappointed that we’re not here to watch a zombie movie.
Cynthia Hand
My mother always says that love is like a snakebite, a venom slowly spreading through your veins.
Cynthia Hand
Because he was English and that's what the English do under stress: they drink tea.
Cynthia Hand
How's happiness class going, by the way?""Okay, so far.""Are you feeling happy?" he asks with the hint of a smirk.I shrug. "The professor says that happiness is wanting what you have."Christian makes a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. "I see. Happiness is wanting what you have. Well, there you go. So what's the problem, then?""What do you mean?""Why is the class only okay?""Oh." I bit my lip, then confess. "Every time I meditate, I start glowing.
Cynthia Hand
First rule of Angel Club, you do not talk about Angel Club.
Cynthia Hand
Great. I've been at this school for less than five hours and I've already made two enemies simply by existing. -Clara
Cynthia Hand
I have a good life, I remind myself. There are plenty of people who love me. They're just not around at the moment.
Cynthia Hand
The worst part about her new chambers was that all these wardrobes and vanities and drapes meant there was no space--none at all--for a bookcase. Who on earth could feel comfortable enough to sleep in a room with no books?
Cynthia Hand
Tucker: "But she gave me the perfect gift."Clara: "What?"Tucker: "You.
Cynthia Hand
The Eδian encampment was quiet save for the crackle of campfires and the muted voices of soldiers, who where huddled in groups around the fires, discussing tactics or telling stories they'd never told anyone else, but needed to be told. In case they died in the morning.
Cynthia Hand
I can't leave you," he says hoarsely."I can't leave you either," I say, shaking my head. "I can't.""Then don't," he says, and grabs me behind the neck and kisses me again, and the world is tilting, and everything goes black.
Cynthia Hand
What purpose will your death serve?""It will serve to prove that you do not control this kingdom. It will serve to prove that not everyone will bow down to you. You think to rule us with fear, but you cannot. I will never renounce my beliefs, or my husband.
Cynthia Hand
It' like he has the ability to take on some of my pain. I feel so much better around him. Stronger. And he is willing to take my pain. He wants to bear it with me. I can see it shining in his eyes. I'm more than a duty to him. I'm more than his literal dream girl. I'm so much more.
Cynthia Hand
Dad scowls. "Phen." He says the name like it's a swear word. "Disgusting, cowardly creatures, the ambivalent. Worse than the fallen, in many ways." His eyes are so fierce it's a tad scary. "They have no conviction at all.
Cynthia Hand
But my anger was a slippery thing, like a fish I was trying to keep hold of, and it wiggled out of my grasp.
Cynthia Hand
It's your mind you have to train, like your mom said that one time, you have to separate yourself from all the crap, get down to the core, focus.
Cynthia Hand
I understand now that nobody could have saved Ty but Ty. There’s no one else to blame. Not you. Not me. Ty was holding all the cards.
Cynthia Hand
Another silence for the record books. Then he sighs."I know. It's crazy. I feel like --" He stops himself. He suddenly looks so miserable that my heart aches for him.I hate my life.
Cynthia Hand
Insert the biggest, most awkward silence in the history of big awkward silences. I stare at him. I'm suddenly exhausted by all the lies I've told him. He's my friend, and I lie to him every day. He deserves better. I wish I could tell him then, more than anything I've ever wanted. I wish I could stand in front of him and truly be myself and tell him everything. But it's against the rules.
Cynthia Hand
Everybody dies, and everybody loses people they love-everybody-and that is not an excuse for you to fucking die. I love you, and I need you to be my mother, and I need you to have a life. So get over yourself.
Cynthia Hand
It's funny how sometimes you don't see the obvious things coming. You think you know what life has in store for you. You think you're prepared. You think you can handle it. And then-boom, like a thunderclap-something comes at you out of nowhere and catches you off guard.
Cynthia Hand
Where are you?" I wheeze into the floor. "Where did you go?
Cynthia Hand
This is the part where I kiss you.
Cynthia Hand
Is this my purpose?The clouds don't have a lot of answers.
Cynthia Hand
It's just high school, man. Those guys are just high school guys, and in ten years they're going to be working for people like me. I know that. I just have to make it through two more years.
Cynthia Hand
I’ve learned that sometimes, when you’re afraid but you keep on moving forward, that’s the biggest kind of courage there is.
Cynthia Hand
So what's the big emergency?" Jeffrey says. He jogs down the aisle of the Pink Garter toward where Christian and I are sitting, waiting for Angela, who uncharacteristically late. "I thought we weren't going to meet this week because we like, you know, spent all weekend together. I'm kind of sick of you people.""Glad to see that you decided to grace us with your presence, anyway," Christian says.
Cynthia Hand
And,” Kay adds as her final touch, “Christian Prescott is my boyfriend.”I dislike her already.
Cynthia Hand
As a serf, poor Christian has already been killed several times in our class. Aside from dying of the Black Plague on the first day, he’s starved to death, had his hands cut off for stealing a loaf of bread, and been run down by his master’s horse just for kicks. He’s like Christian the fifth now.
Cynthia Hand
Once again, my hero. And here I’m supposed to be the one saving him.
Cynthia Hand
I love you," he murmurs. "Can you feel that? You. Not some destiny I think I'm called to. You. I'm with you. My strength. My soul. My heart. Feel it.
Cynthia Hand
Chicks dig historians.
Cynthia Hand
Well he should get over himself. He tried to get me burned at the stake in Brit History yesterday. Here I am minding my own business like a good little girl, and out of the blue Tucker raises his hand and accuses me of being a witch" "sounds like something Tucker would do" admits wendy."Everybody had to vote on it. I barely escaped with my nuns life. Obviously I'll have to return the favour.
Cynthia Hand
Hey, Carrots," he says.
Cynthia Hand
Tucker: "Today we ran into a mama grizzly with two cubs at the ridge off Colter Bay and Clara sang to it to make it go away."Mrs. Avery: You sang to it?Tucker: Her singing is that bad.
Cynthia Hand
He wanted to tell her she'd have more room if she'd just get rid of her books, but he supposed that in her case, it would be like telling a mother she'd have more room if she threw out her children.
Cynthia Hand
Bug spray.” Mosquitoes never bother me, but apparently they eat Tucker alive if he forgets bug spray. So I wear it for solidarity. “All the kids wearit,” I explain to Mom. “They say the mosquito is the Wyoming state bird.
Cynthia Hand
I think you must be some kind of a freak. Either that or you’re trying toconvert me to your secret horse religion.”“Darn, you got me,” she says theatrically. “You thwarted my evil plan.
Cynthia Hand
As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways.""My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with.""It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it.""I'll learn to control my hair?
Cynthia Hand
I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept, just in case, I don't know, his comic book collection decided to spontaneously combust. This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way.
Cynthia Hand
Bug spray.” Mosquitoes never bother me, but apparently they eat Tucker alive if he forgets bug spray. So I wear it for solidarity. “All the kids wearit,” I explain to Mom. “They say the mosquito is the Wyoming state bird.
Cynthia Hand
I think you must be some kind of a freak. Either that or you’re trying toconvert me to your secret horse religion.”“Darn, you got me,” she says theatrically. “You thwarted my evil plan.
Cynthia Hand
As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways.""My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with.""It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it.""I'll learn to control my hair?
Cynthia Hand
I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept, just in case, I don't know, his comic book collection decided to spontaneously combust. This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way.
Cynthia Hand
There's nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of the human heart.
Cynthia Hand
Shall I compare thee to a barrel of apples?Though art more hairy, but sweeter inside.Rough winds couldn't keep me from taking you to chapel,Where finally a horse could take a bride...
Cynthia Hand
You and I have a connection that nothing, not on heaven or earth, or even hell, could ever break. If you want to talk to me, talk to me. I’ll hear you…
Cynthia Hand
I am amazed at how being with him changes everything for me, socially speaking.
Cynthia Hand
I'll never forget the way he tastes. It's not anything I can describe, a little sweet and a whole lot of spice, and it feels, in that moment, absolutely right.
Cynthia Hand
You are going to love the sports here. Snow skiing and water-skiing and rock climbing and all kinds of extreme sports. I give you full permission to hurl yourself off stuff.
Cynthia Hand
She shrugs."Men""Men.""If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all there?
Cynthia Hand
Are you any good at it?""Pulling idiots out of the snow? I'm the best.
Cynthia Hand
The backcountry signs say stuff like BEYOND THIS POINT IS A HIGH RISK AREA, WHICH HAS MANY HAZARDS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, AVALANCHES, CLIFFS, AND HIDDEN OBSTACLES, YOU MAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COST OF YOUR RESCUE and I think, um, no thanks. I choose life.
Cynthia Hand
Tucker: Why would you tell me now if it's against the rules?Clara: Because I love you.
Cynthia Hand