Uncategorized Quotes - Page 72

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!

My boyfriend dumped me. My best friend won't talk to me. My future is in a garbage can. Everything has turned to crap. Can you please just let me be a sullen teenager. just this once

J.J. Johnson

I let out a sound that was definitely not a whimper. It was something far more manly, no matter what it sounded like.

Brandon Sanderson

Time flies when you're falling down"...(not from a book, it's a lyric)

Courtney Love

Pink is supposed to weaken your enemies, make them go soft on you, which must be why it's used for baby girls. It's a wonder the military hasn't got on to this.

Margaret Atwood

You're about as delicate as an AK-47.

Jill Hathaway

Those who do not complain are never pitied.

Jane Austen

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card...

Jill Shalvis

(Malory, unhopeful: "I don't suppose you have any tea?" Jesse: "DO YOU WANT EARL GREY OR DARJEELING?" Malory: "Oh, sweet heavens!")

Maggie Stiefvater

Even if you haven't had the exclusivity conversation, they're still going to be mad if they find out you're dating someone they know and you haven't mentioned it. It's a dating rule." "Well, how am I supposed to know that rule?" "Everyone knows that rule." "I thought you were supposed to be on my side." "I am on your side!

Cassandra Clare

You are only limited by your own imagination

Benny Bellamacina

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.

Carroll Bryant

By the Angel, this place is barely better than a penny gaff,” Gideon said. “Gabriel, don’t look at anything unless I tell you it’s all right.

Cassandra Clare

Shall I add a man to my collection?

Patricia A. McKillip

Well, wasn't this a night for firsts. Sex. Arson. Pants.

J.R. Ward

Oh you two look delicious," Bast said, licking her lips. "No, no-er, I mean wonderful. Now, off you go!

Rick Riordan

Jane: "Missy was not so subtly reminding me that she had done something nice for me and here i was being rude when all she was asking me to do was attend a nice party. This was the way southern women worked all peaches & cream laced with arsenic.

Molly Harper

So I'm all, "Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!" Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until I learn French.)

Christopher Moore

Your ma's dating?" Tim looks shocked. "I thought she pretty much confined herself to a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your dad screwed her over.

Huntley Fitzpatrick

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had wanted to meet the right girl, I would have drank a whole lot less.

Carroll Bryant

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

Derek Landy

As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms.""Eh?""Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit.

Jim Butcher

It wasn’t until someone kicked his legs that Nik woke up. Alek, snoring beside him, his head resting on his shoulder. Ban snoring on the other couch, the noise rivaled only by the dog. He looked into the impossibly cranky face of Zach Sheridan. “Y’all get food?” “We had a full refrigerator before you three got here.” “Where I come from, we don’t let the refrigerator get empty.” “Where you come from, you marry your sister.

Shelly Laurenston

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.

Jeaniene Frost

And you’re kind of like a snowflake.’Oh, Jesus Christ.He masked his fleeting surprise with a quirked eyebrow. ‘Excuse me?’‘Nothing,’ I said quickly. ‘I didn’t say anything.’‘No, no,’ he said, rounding on me so his face was too close, his eyes too searing, his smile too irritating. ‘I’m a snowflake, am I?

Catherine Doyle

Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing!

J.K. Rowling

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront.

Pittacus Lore

But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land."(Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)

Dave Barry

Otis barreled towards them empty-handed, before apparently realizing that a) he was empty-handed and b) charging towards a large body of water to fight a son of Poseidon was maybe not a good idea.

Rick Riordan

I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded.But Declan laughed. "Vintage Simon Murray comment.

Sean Kennedy

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

Erma Bombeck

Okay, boys.” Pestilence's grating voice rang out. “Kill the human and the mutt, and let's get this Apocalypse started!

Larissa Ione

With a regrettable sigh he shook his head."I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out.""What the hell are you doing, Trevor?" Hankdemanded anxiously. No doubt the manwouldn't be getting laid tonight, but Trevorcouldn't help it. He had his standards andthis woman failed them."Maybe we could go grab a cup of coffeesomewhere and get to know-"He held up his hand, stopping her before shemade an even bigger fool out of herself."Please stop.""But, I was only-""Don't beg.""I wasn't. I was just-""Begging?" Trevor guessed, sighing. "I know,but you're going to have to accept that thiswould never work out."She frowned up at him. "I wasn't begging. Iwas just going to suggest that we should-""Look," he said, reaching for the door, "thiss just getting sad. I'm just going to go beforethings get out of hand.

R.L. Mathewson

In the middle of the night I am awakened by a sound. I sit up abruptly in bed. I hear it again. It's music. Wait, it sounds like the ice cream man, in our house. Is this some kind of twisted nightmare? The flipping ice cream man, breaking in to chop us all up in our beds to the tune of 'Zippity Do Dah'?... My heart slows. I remember. There is no psycho ice cream man here. It is just our new musical soap dispenser...

Deb Caletti

I'm more of a dog person. But I admire cats and their ability to take so much while giving so little.

Jeri Smith-Ready

Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist.

Martin Millar

I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when people are totally unaware of how bad they are at socializing.

Victoria Scott

She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on his mouth. Name. He wanted her name. She had to think about it for a second before she remembered. Great. She must have hit her head. Which, duh, explained the headache.

Larissa Ione

There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place

Carroll Bryant

Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.

Regina Griffin

She is an incredibly intelligent idiot

Gillian Flynn

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much.

Carroll Bryant

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.

Ogden Nash

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair?

Elizabeth Eulberg

Here you go, dear."" The corners of Mrs. Colbert's mouth curled up. "You like meat, don't you?"Emily blinked. Was it her, or did that statement seem...loaded? She checked Issac for his reaction, but he was innocently selecting a roll from a wicker basket. "Uh, thanks." Emily said, pulling the platter toward her. She did like meat. The kind you, um, eat.

Sara Shepard

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic.

Jill Shalvis

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck.

Neil Gaiman

For people who like that kind of thing, this is the kind of thing they like.

Artemus Ward

Has there ever been an Inquisitor who didn't die a horrible death?" Simon wondered out loud. " It's like being the drummer in Spinal Tap.

Cassandra Clare

Right at the flamingo orgy! Left at the multiethnic roof Santas! Straight past the pissing cherubs!

Ransom Riggs

I was behaving, just like I promised, but fate intervened.

Katherine Paterson

Listen carefully, Lucas Steele, because I will only say this once. I am NOT your mate, I will never be your mate, and if you ever put your hands on me again I will cut them off along with other body parts you might want to use one day. Got it?" Jacque told him with as much force as she could put behind her words.

Quinn Loftis

Yeah, my father is an egotistical douchebag," he says roughly. "My name literally means Jonathan empire.

Krista Ritchie

Moreover, if great men are the only hope of the Evolutionary Process, they are morally bound to rule over the masses for their own good -- we are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know -- and the masses have no right whatsoever to resist them.

W.H. Auden

Jane: "Look, Dave Chandler left me on the ninth floor of our university research library without my panties after we lost our virginity together. He never called me again and actually turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction whenever he saw me on campus. Unless you're going to do that, I don't think were gonna have a problem. Gabriel?"Gabriel: "Sorry. Something strange happened inside my head when you said the word "panties". The overwhelming urge to kill Dave Chandler combined with a simultaneous loss of blood to the brain.

Molly Harper

Don't beat yourself up," said Charlotte. "True love can be so easily mistaken for other things-friendship, humane concern, indigestion...

Shannon Hale

I lifted my wand, hoping she would see this as a dramatic move, not a threat. “Why once, in my bunker at Charing Cross Station, I stalked thedeadly prey known as Jelly Babies.”Neith’s eyes widened. “They are dangerous?”“Horrible,” I agreed. “Oh, they seem small alone, but they always appear in great numbers. Sticky, fattening—quite deadly. There I was, alonewith only two quid and a Tube pass, beset by Jelly Babies, when…Ah, but never mind. When the Jelly Babies come for you…you will find out onyour own.”She lowered her bow. “Tell me. I must know how to hunt Jelly Babies.”I looked at Walt gravely. “How many months have I trained you, Walt?”“Seven,” he said. “Almost eight.”“And have I ever deemed you worthy of hunting Jelly Babies with me?”“Uh…no.

Rick Riordan

A weapon, I told Horus. I need a weapon.I reached into the Duat and pulled out an ostrich feather.“Really?” I yelled.Horus didn’t answer

Rick Riordan

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Jill Shalvis

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Uncategorized Quotes - Page 72

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