Uncategorized Quotes - Page 69

On Decoration Day, while everyone else in town was at the cemetery decorating the graves of our Glorious War Dead, Willie Beaner and me, Robert Burns Hewitt, took Mabel Cramm's bloomers and run them up the flagpole in front of the town hall. That was the beginning of all my troubles.

Katherine Paterson

Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else - not as fragile as we think they are.

Julie Powell

In my opinion, the person who created the torture device called gym class should be clobbered with an enormous frozen cucumber. Not to mention, the person who decided it would be a great idea to schedule me in first period gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday also deserves a heavy-handed whacking with the same frozen cucumber.

Amy Holder

I could still see that Pauline was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met, but of the ancient fire which had caused me to bung my heart at her feet that night at the Plaza there remained not a trace. Analysing this, if analyzing is the word I want, I came to the conclusion that this changed outlook was due to the fact that she was so dashed dynamic. Unquestionably an eyeful, Pauline Stoker had the grave defect of being one of those girls who want you to come and swim a mile before breakfast and rout you out when you are trying to snatch a wink of sleep after lunch for a merry five sets of tennis.

P.G. Wodehouse

Renee: “The Greek government doesn’t know that I found anything that day in the temple. And they for sure wouldn’t want to know about the little mess I left behind.” She grimaced.Trout: “Little mess? You started a freakin’ cave in, you moron. Nice work by the way. Way to keep up international relations. ‘Uh, yeah, hi, I’m Renée, I’m an American. I’m here to, you know, like, drink all your wine, trash the joint, steal all your valuable shit and then bolt the country.’ Why didn’t you just drop your shorts and pee in the Parthenon?

John C. Stipa

When the watermelons were as large as a child's head, the women boiled them, but they collapsed into a tasteless green mush that no one could eat, not the children, not the cow.

Annie Proulx

I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.

Neil Leckman

Tell me, Mr. Bennet, how can we amuse you during your visit? Do you hunt?” Lady Catherine was spooning her turtle soup, blowing delicately to cool it.“I am certain an animal would sooner die of laughter than gunshot wound if I even made the attempt.

Karen V. Wasylowski

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Janet Evanovich

Here she was, being rescued by a socialist, feminist, lesbian, baby-killing, foreign terrorist. What would the ladies in the sewing circle say to that?

Hillary Jordan

Tom leaned in and spoke in a low, confidential voice, "Sir. You have a little something..." He lifted his forefinger surreptitiously to his own upper lip. Harrison brought his hand to his mustache to brush something off it, his eyes questioning. "What is it?""Carpet remnant?" Tom suggested.

Jez Morrow

Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Janet Evanovich

He downed the last of his coffee, carried his mug over to the pot, poured himself a refill, and returned to the

Lynda Hilburn

What would you tell her about me?”He did not just ask that.“You did not just ask that.” She chuckled.“I’m serious,” he smiled.“Very well, if you must know, I would say that you are arrogant and foolish, too handsome for your own good and far too cognizant of your own intellect. Unbending, unsympathetic, dogmatic, pig-headed—”“Handsome?” he interrupted, unable to keep the smile from his face. “And intelligent?”“Don’t forget arrogant.

Leigh LaValle

I was out of salt so I threw pepper over my left shoulder for luck and the poor guy behind me almost sneezed himself to death.

Stanley Victor Paskavich

Does my grandma count as a bodyguard?

Holly Hood

My bullshit metre is reading that as false'.

Charlaine Harris

So the world was nuts and he'd suddenly discovered a kink for geeks. There were worse things.

Louisa Edwards

For Breakfast I like my coffee warm and cozy and my eggs funny side up.

Stanley Victor Paskavich

Pardon me Mam,I'm new in town, could you please show me the way to your house?

Frank Calvin Mann

We nearly had our asses handed to us in a sling by a bunny rabbit?

A.J. Culpepper

You can shit in one hand and wish in another and see which one gets full faster. Or... you can just take my word for it.

C.V. Hunt

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

Gary Shandling

Let me guess," Brynn said from across the room. "Another brother, right?"Keegan glanced at Brynn, who was staring at Ronin with an expression of disbelief. He switched back to English. "This is our younger brother, Ronin.""Of course he is." Brynn let out an incredulous chuckle. "Did they specifically breed you guys in a lab or something?"He exchanged a confused look with Ronin. What did that mean?Bryn must have caught the look, because she explained, "Since you're all so hot, I mean.

Rosalie Lario

If at first you don't succeed, try to eat a big lunch and take a nap...er wait, no... #badadvice

Jayce O'Neal

What are you working on?" Elizabeth asked. Nate could hear her tapping a pencil on her desk. She took notes during their conversations. He didn't know what she did with the notes, but it bothered him."I have a lecture at the sanctuary in four days." Why, why had he told her? Why? Now she'd rattle down the mountain in her ancient Mercedes that looked like a Nazi staff car, sit in the audience, and ask all the questions that she knew in advance he couldn't answer.

Christopher Moore

That’s crazy,” Gabriel said. “We must be seventy million years in the past.”“Nearly a hundred and twenty-five million,” Ohin said. “It seems far, but time is really interrelational. Every moment is just as far from every other.“Right,” Gabriel said. “Of course. That makes perfect sense.” Sema was right. He was at a breaking point. And he broke right past it. His eyes rolled up in his head and he passed out, falling back into the mattress of the bed.

G.L. Breedon

The surgeon tells me that you're a sorcerer," Pym said. "Is that so?"Jaki looked to the captain with the glare of the masts in his eyes. "Yes."Pym weighed this disclosure. "You speak with the dead?""Yes."The captain's eyes screwed up intently. "What do they say to you?""They don't talk back."Pym and Mister Blackheart laughed in unison...The captain said, "Mister Blackheart wants to know what kind of sorcerer you are."Jaki pondered a response and finally said, "I was learning to catch souls before my teacher was killed.""Souls, eh? And what do you do with them after you catch them?""I put them back in their bodies.""Ah, then you're telling us you're a surgeon.

A.A. Attanasio

Vikings don't have faults, they have clubs.

Tara Brown

All men are selfish, brutal and inconsiderate--and I wish I could find one.

Shulamith Firestone

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Mark Twain

There was not a lot of room for someone like me, who kept the gossip mill running like a hamster wheel.

Molly Harper

When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Facebook)

Stephen Altrogge

So it happened at last: I was about to become a thief, a cheap milk-stealer. Here was your lash-in-the-pen genius, your one story-writer: a thief.

John Fante

I am concussed,' I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis.''You're fine,' Takumi said as he jogged back towards me. ''Let's get out of here before we're killed.''''I'm sorry,' I said. ''But I can't get up. I have suffered a mild concussion.''Lara ran out and sat down next to me.''Are you OK?''''I am concussed,'' I said.Takumi sat down with me and looked me in the eye. ''Do you know what happened to you?''''The beast got me.''''Do you know where you are?''''I'm on a triple-and-a-half date.''''You're fine,'' Takumi said. ''Let's go.''And then I leaned forward and threw up on Lara's pants.

John Green

For God's sake put on your glasses, Sam. You're staring right at my boobs.

Jillian Eaton

What do you mean, is that it? I just saved his career and the CIA from ruin and he calls me a perfidious ass.""What's perfidious mean?" Ace asked from the driver's seat."You deceived him and stole his girlfriend out from under his nose," Julia said to Conrad. "I think technically 'ass' is a pretty mild revilement.""Revilement?" Ace looked at one and then the other in his rearview. "This is some kind of spy talk, isn't it? Okay, I'm down with it. Just tell me what it means.

Misty Evans

Switzerland is only bearable covered with snow," Aunt Augusta said, "like some people are only bearable under a sheet.

Graham Greene

Jewish vampires: We turn into cats not bats bwaaahaha

Tasha Turner

Trust me, I write fiction.

Rob Mahan

That widow’s peak is preposterous. God. It really makes you feel the sad dearth of widow’s peaks in daily life. We could, like, use him as breeding stock to seed widow’s peaks into the populace.”“My god. What’s with all the mating and seed talk?”“I’m just saying,” Zuzana said reasonably. “I’m crazy about Mik, okay, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do my part for the proliferation of widow’s peaks. As a favor to the gene pool. You would, too, right? Or maybe…” She shot Karou a sidelong glance. “You already have?

Laini Taylor

Wakey wakey eggs and bacey!

Jayson James

Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human

Tasha Turner

He done his level best.Was he a mining on the flat..He done it with a zest..Was he a leading of the choir..He done his level best.If he'd a reg'lar task to do,He never took no rest..Or if 'twas off and on the same..He done his level best.If he was preachin' on his beat,He'd tramp from east to west,And north to south ..in cold and heat..He done his level best.He'd Yank a sinner outen (Hades),And land him with the blest;Then snatch a prayer'n waltz in again,And do his level best.He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray,And dance and drink and jest,He done his level best.Whate'er this man was sot to doHe done it with a zest;No matter what his contract was,He'd do his level best...

Mark Twain

It wasn't a lie, not at all like one of those lies she told herself all the time, like This is the last drink of the evening, or I'm not going to set the bitch's house on fire.

Melissa de la Cruz

As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.

Janet Evanovich

Anything else, Your Majesty?" "I didn't say my prayers." "I'll say them for you. Our father who art in et cetera, bless all the rotten cousins and kill Jenny. Amen.

Maggie Osborne

It's just going to add to him thinking that I am a crazy, wanky, greenie, hybriddriving hippie," I complained."Has he seen your bomb of a car?" Fran asked in disbelief. "Greenpeace arranges a protest every time it leaves your driveway.

Sean Kennedy

While like most men, Sam prided himself on being equipped with a supernatural internal compass that kept him from ever being lost, he'd also learned to concede those rare times when that compass seemed to be temporary disrepair.

Clive Cussler

Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.

Kale Lawrence

Shut up, Arthur,' said my mother, and he zipped his mouth shut like an infuriating child.Ginger started to laugh. Not at anything in particular, but just because Ginger was stoned.

Sarah Winman

They can afford to smile because they all have teeth so dazzling if they dropped them in the snow they'd be lost forever.

Frank McCourt

It was a hot, moist armpit of a night...

Mike Carey

I'd much rather have a brain of my own than be popular.

Dori Hillestad Butler

Now, tomorrow Miss Laurie McCrae and me, we have an appointment with a sky pilot who will make it proper for us to travel in double harness.

Louis L'Amour

She batted thoseeyelashes at me so hard I thought I felt a breeze.

Maddie Dawson

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!

Neil Leckman

Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life.

Marie Phillips

True...I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is...I never answer them back.

Timothy Pina

There's something to be said about drinking a carafe of wine by yourself ... I just can't remember at the moment what it is! (said after drinking a carafe of wine by himself)

Gerard de Marigny

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Uncategorized Quotes - Page 69

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