Uncategorized Quotes - Page 67

I feel sorry for Rick Astley, one day he is going to die and nobody will know about it for weeks because nobody will want to click the link.
Ade Bozzay
In the beginning was the word, and that word was probably misconstrued by someone who then made it into a personal issue and started a fight causing people to be miserable
Ade Bozzay
Tears are kind of like urine. There's only so long you can hold them in.
Julie Buxbaum
The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have become super good friends.
Sariah Wilson
Chris smiled at me, showing two ridiculously cute dimples and a few feet away a waitress dropped an empty cup she had cleared from a table. Blushing, she muttered an apology and hurried inside.I scowled at him, refusing to be swayed by his charm.“I see,” he murmured, nodding slightly as if he had just solved a puzzle.“See what?” Ignoring my question, he pulled out a cell phone, hit a number and held the phone out to me. I hesitated for a few seconds then took the phone and put it to my ear.“What’s up, Chris?” said a familiar deep voice on the other end.“Good question,” I responded tersely.“I told Chris you’d recognize him if he got too close.” Was that amusement in his tone?“Great. You won the bet. Buy him a beer or whatever.” I glanced at Chris, saw that he looked amused now, too and I grew even more agitated. “I thought we had an understanding when you left here last week.”“And what understanding would that be?” I gritted my teeth. “The one where you go your way and I go mine and we all live happily ever after.”“I don’t recall that particular arrangement,” he replied in his infuriatingly easy manner. “I believe I told you I’d be seeing you again.”I opened my mouth but words would not come out. People say ‘I’ll be seeing you’ all the time when they say good bye. It doesn’t mean anything. It certainly doesn’t mean they will send their friends to stalk you.“Sara?”“What do you want from me, Nikolas? I told you I just want to be left alone.”There was a brief silence then a quiet sigh on the other end. “We got word of increased activity in Portland and we have reason to believe the vampire might be searching for you.”It felt like an icy breath touched the back of my neck. Eli’s face flashed through my mind and my knees wobbled.Roland stepped close to me. “What’s wrong, Sara? What is he saying to you?”I smiled weakly at Roland and put up a hand to let him know I’d fill him in when I got off the phone. “I don’t know anyone in Portland so there is no way he can trace me here, right?”“There is more than one way to track someone.” Nikolas’s voice hardened. “Don’t worry, we will keep you safe. Chris will stay close by until we handle this situation.”Great, I was the ‘situation’ again. “I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not a child.”“No you’re not,” he replied gruffly and warmth unfurled in my stomach. “But you are not a warrior either. It is our duty to protect you even if you don’t want it.”I felt like stomping my feet like a two year old. Didn’t I get any choice in this? My eyes fell on Chris as I spoke. “How close is he planning to stay? He’s kind of conspicuous and I can’t have my uncle or anyone else asking questions.”Chris peered in confusion down at his form-fitting blue jeans and black sweater as Nikolas said, “Conspicuous?”I looked heavenward. “If you guys wanted to blend in you shouldn’t have sent Dimples here. The way some of the women are staring at him, I might end up having to protect him instead.”There was a cough on the other end and Nikolas sounded like he was grinning when he said, “Ah, I’m sure Chris can take care of himself. He will be in town in case we suspect any trouble is coming that way.
Karen Lynch
No, my eldest brother. He was named after our father. Our parents died when the Romans first invaded, and Stephano then became the "head of the family". " She grimaced. "He and I are like oil and water. Or we were. We get along well enough now, though." She grinned. "But boy did he pitch a fit over the concubine thing. He even called in Uncle Lucian to deal with me."Harper's eyebrows rose. "I'm surprised Lucian bothered to intervene."..."Yes, well..." Drina grimaced. "I'm afraid while I was een as a concubine, I was really playing puppet master with my lover and kind of ruling the country though him. At least until Uncle Lucian caught wind of it and came to give me hell.
Lynsay Sands
Never underestimate a septuagenarian with time on his hands.
Bernadette Pruitt
Lions and tigers and Funkyoid, oh my!
L. Frank Baum
The eccentric passion of Shankly was underlined for me by my England team-mate Roger Hunt's version of the classic tale of the Liverpool manager's pre-game talk before playing Manchester United. The story has probably been told a thousand times in and out of football, and each time you hear it there are different details, but when Roger told it the occasion was still fresh in his mind and I've always believed it to be the definitive account. It was later on the same day, as Roger and I travelled together to report for England duty, after we had played our bruising match at Anfield. Ian St John had scored the winner, then squared up to Denis Law, with Nobby finally sealing the mood of the afternoon by giving the Kop the 'V' sign. After settling down in our railway carriage, Roger said, 'You may have lost today, but you would have been pleased with yourself before the game. Shanks mentioned you in the team talk. When he says anything positive about the opposition, normally he never singles out players.' According to Roger, Shankly burst into the dressing room in his usual aggressive style and said, 'We're playing Manchester United this afternoon, and really it's an insult that we have to let them on to our field because we are superior to them in every department, but they are in the league so I suppose we have to play them. In goal Dunne is hopeless- he never knows where he is going. At right back Brennan is a straw- any wind will blow him over. Foulkes the centre half kicks the ball anywhere. On the left Tony Dunne is fast but he only has one foot. Crerand couldn't beat a tortoise. It's true David Herd has got a fantastic shot, but if Ronnie Yeats can point him in the right direction he's likely to score for us. So there you are, Manchester United, useless...'Apparently it was at this point the Liverpool winger Ian Callaghan, who was never known to whisper a single word on such occasions, asked, 'What about Best, Law and Charlton, boss?'Shankly paused, narrowed his eyes, and said, 'What are you saying to me, Callaghan? I hope you're not saying we cannot play three men.
Bobby Charlton
I must confess to generally hating sections entitled “how to read this book” and soon. I feel that, if I bought it, I should be able to read it any way I damn well please!Nevertheless, I feel some guidelines may be useful.
Paul Taylor
Darcy rolled the quill between his fingers and looked with benign pity upon his cousin. “You should, you know. It’s a wonderful feeling to be the head of your home, with a wife who adores you and whom you adore in return.”Fitzwilliam whipped out his pocket watch. “Oh, look at that. I have to run."Ignoring him, Darcy turned his face to the fire, a besotted look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. “It’s a good feeling to care for your family and their well-being. It makes you finally grow up, I can tell you.” He sighed deeply and began attacking his figures once more, his mind filled with unlimited love and joy, thinking on his upcoming paternal responsibilities. “I myself find women to be unbelievably wonderful creations.”“I suppose you will continue with this treacle even as I beg you to stop.”“Well, think about it…” Darcy continued, looking up from his work.Fitzwilliam groaned.“They give back to you double and triple whatever little you hand them.”“I think I’m going to be ill, Darcy. Please stop.”“You hand them disparate items of food, and they give you back a wonderful meal. You provide them with four walls and a floor, and they give you back a loving home. You give them your seed,” Darcy’s eyes misted, his voice choked with emotion. “You give them your seed, and they give you back the most precious thing of all—a child…” They sat in silence together.“And God help you if you give them shit.” Fitzwilliam was calmly packing tobacco into his pipe, and his eyes met Darcy’s for a moment. Understanding flashed between them.“Amen to that, Cousin.” Darcy crashed down to earth, quickly resuming his work
Karen V. Wasylowski
Hope was like frogs praying for wings so they didn't bump their asses when they hopped
Sherri Desbois
My toe as a lethal weapon!
Azar Nafisi
I bet that dog-walking trollop called the cops on us. - Esme from Sister Mischief
Laura Goode
David: “How the hell did you get dressed so fast?”Renee: “How do you know I didn’t streak naked through the lobby and had clothes waiting for me in the car?” David: “Heh. Good thing the archaeological paparazzi didn’t have a team on duty.”Renee: “I’d have taken ’em out. My whole body is a weapon.
John C. Stipa
Well, Ben says you have to be married to get a girl pregnant. And me and Cindy are not married, so she couldn't get pregnant, see?
Scylar Tyberius
Character and Plot...Character and PlotSome writers have it and some do notThis I'll tell you BrotherYou can't have one without the other
Johnny Flora
Unfortunately...I missed out on the California Gold Rush a century before...I'll be dammed if I miss out on this one.
Timothy Pina
Darcy’s hand suddenly rammed angrily into a bowl of fruit and grasped an innocent, unsuspecting orange. “Enough. The woman is demented. Our marriage is simply something to which she must become adjusted. She insulted Elizabeth and her family, and in so doing, she insulted me.” With an expression as black as pitch, Darcy commenced to vivisecting the orange. By the time he finished with said orange, it was completely dead, thoroughly dead, with no semblance remaining of its prior orange existence.
Karen V. Wasylowski
Writers cleave together like a demonic AA group - we are singularly able to dance with each other's devils...
J.D. Young
A weapon needs a wielder; it should not be permitted to start its own fights.""You are not my wielder; you are naught, a forgotten ghost, not even a memory.""Maybe, but you are still a weapon.
Angelo Tsanatelis
There shouldn't ever be a gas shortage in our world...when so many people are full of it!
Timothy Pina
Cheech and Chong Vs. HAL"I can't do that Dave.""Dave's not here, man""That does not compute. Dave""No man, Dave isn't here!!"..."I'm sorry Dave but that is incorrect""No man, Dave's not here!!""Daisy, daisy,.... I'm self terminating now Dave....""No man, dave's not.....Is he gone?
Neil Leckman
Jesus, is Gamache hiring fetuses now?
Louise Penny
If I fuck you, you’ll think all your prayers have been answered. I’ll make you see god, Middleton. I’ll make you think I am god.”Ty Henderson - Act Your Age
Eve Dangerfield
The reason politics makes strange bedfellows is because they all like the same bunk.
Los Angeles Times
Lara Jean, why do you have to remember every little thing? It's not healthy.
Jenny Han
Turn your diodes this way and pulse...
Neil Leckman
If you have more cavities than you have teeth you've led a 'Sweet' life.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Dave Courtney
I have my welcome mat turned around backwards so when people leave they think they’re going to a better place.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit what else does a man need?
Stanley Victor Paskavich
When I get to Heaven I just know I'm going to forget my toothbrush.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Yo! Hold my poodle!
Shawn Wayans
A word to the wise an't nesisary its the stupid ones who need the edvise.
Eliga H. Gould
Sorry about your bad luck.
David Perry
There is no god but Road Runner and Chuck Jones is his prophet.
John Steiner
You’ll be dethroned faster than a coke snorting beauty queen.
Eric Luper
Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder--which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression.
Terry Pratchett
He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to explode in your face. Just when he thought he'd found it he'd be suddenly involved in what he supposed other people - thoughtless, feckless people - would call an adventure. And he'd be forced to visit many strange lands and meet exotic and colourful people, although not for very long because usually he'd be running. He'd seen the creation of the universe, although not from a good seat, and had visited Hell and the afterlife. He'd been captured, imprisoned, rescued, lost and marooned. Sometimes it had all happened on the same day.
Terry Pratchett
The news that Daisy Miller was surrounded by half a dozen wonderful mustaches checked Winterbourne's impulse to go straightway to see her.
Henry James
wear flannel next to your skin, and never believe in eternal punishment.
Julian Barnes
Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours..and we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could be viewed as a minor miracle.
Michael D. Beil
Never can tell when you might come on somebody needs skinning.
Louis L'Amour
The one that sang, old Janine, was always whispering into the g***** microphone before she sang. She'd say, 'And now we like to geeve you our impression of Vooly Voo Fransay. Eet ees the story of leetle Fransh girl who comes to a beeg ceety, just like New York, and falls een love wees a leetle boy from Brookleen. We hope you like eet.' Then, when she was all done whispering and being cute as hell, she'd sing some dopey song, half in English and half in French, and drive all the phonies in the place mad with joy.
J.D. Salinger
You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both know where that usually ends up.
Kaye Chambers
Renee: “Trout, get your mind out of the gutter.”Trout: “Can’t help it—it’s attached to my body.
John C. Stipa
One day in 1948 or 1949, the Brentwood County Mart, a shopping complex in an upscale neighborhood of Los Angeles, California, was the scene of a slight disturbance that carried overtones of the most spectacular upheaval in twientieth-century music. Marta Feuchtwanger, wife of émigré novelist Lion Feuchtwanger, was examining grapefruit in the produce section when she heard a voice shouting German from the far end of the aisle. She looked up to see Arnold Schoenberg, the pioneer of atonal music and the codifier of twelve-tone composition, bearing down on her, with his bald pate and burning eyes. Decades later, in conversation with the writer Lawrence Weschler, Feuchtwanger could recall every detail of the encounter, including the weight of the grapefruit in her hand. “Lies, Frau Marta, lies!” Schoenberg was yelling. “You have to know, I never had syphilis!
Alex Ross
Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.
Janet Evanovich
Cayl replies...I understand the human reproductive system, Agent Denning; I’m here to capture a killer, not indulge in these intrusive human senses.
Tielle St. Clare
Sell your book like a can of beans & your readers will place the same value on it.
Stuart Aken
You know what I could use? A thrill.
Jim Moorman
Real life... Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria
Solange nicole
(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
Terry Pratchett
The beauty of the ultrasound scan is something that only parents can appreciate, but Emma had seen these things before and knew what was required of her. ‘Beautiful,’ she sighed, though in truth it could have been a Polaroid of the inside of his pocket.
David Nicholls
Poisons are more my thing
Kate Morton
Every week seems to bring another luxuriantly creamy envelope, the thickness of a letter-bomb, containing a complex invitation – a triumph of paper engineering – and a comprehensive dossier of phone numbers, email addresses, websites, how to get there, what to wear, where to buy the gifts. Country house hotels are being block-booked, great schools of salmon are being poached, vast marquees are appearing overnight like Bedouin tent cities. Silky grey morning suits and top hats are being hired and worn with an absolutely straight face, and the times are heady and golden for florists and caterers, string quartets and Ceilidh callers, ice sculptors and the makers of disposable cameras. Decent Motown cover-bands are limp with exhaustion. Churches are back in fashion, and these days the happy couple are travelling the short distance from the place of worship to the reception on open-topped London buses, in hot-air balloons, on the backs of matching white stallions, in micro-lite planes. A wedding requires immense reserves of love and commitment and time off work, not least from the guests. Confetti costs eight pounds a box. A bag of rice from the corner shop just won’t cut it anymore.
David Nicholls
My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
I just tripped over a pair of shoes and almost fell down and broke my neck and no I wasn't wearing them.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Lunar Eclipse doesn't that sound like a car you can only drive at night?
Stanley Victor Paskavich

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