Uncategorized Quotes - Page 62

Do I look like I'm compelled to do anything? Do I seriously look like anyone could compel me to even bring them a coaster?"She looked me over again. "You look like you're compelled to cause trouble, but I doubt that's the boss' directive.
Debra Dunbar
He didn’t recruit me,” Cett pointed out. “I got pulled by my balls into this little fiasco.”“I wish I cared enough to apologize,” Elend said, staring at them.
Brandon Sanderson
Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.
Jacob M. Appel
Typical St Mary’s. When the chips are down we don’t whine and we don’t run – we do some damage.
Jodi Taylor
It's not a remarkable note except for one thing. The typeface Tony used to print it is the exact typeface Kubrick used for the posters and title sequences of 'Eyes Wide Shut' and '2001'.'It's Futura Extra Bold,' explains Tony. 'It was Stanley's favorite typeface. It's sans serif. He liked Helvetica and Univers too. Clean and elegant.''Is this the kind of thing you and Kubrick used to talk about?' I asked.'God, yes,' says Tony. 'Sometimes late into the night. I was always trying to persuade him to turn away from them. But he was wedded to his sans serifs.
Jon Ronson
If an angry bull is running toward you, and your pants become wet despite holding the red cloth, make sure the other side of the cloth is white.
Waheed Ibne Musa
If you have pain in your ass, it doesn’t mean you have done something wrong, but it’s probably because you’re wearing your little brother’s underwear.
Waheed Ibne Musa
They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance.
Oscar Wilde
Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.
Oliver Oliver Reed
What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.
Oliver Oliver Reed
If you absolutely had to have sex with one of the Three Stooges, who would it be?
Douglas Carter Beane
Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.
Oliver Oliver Reed
They'll get my Kindle when they pry it from my cold dead hands, if my corpse will release it.
Elizabeth Horton-Newton
As a little girl, I'd have given up my Barbie Dreamhouse to have a miniature purple dragon - as an adult, I didn't find it nearly as exciting.
R.L. Naquin
Oh, sir!" Lord Teddie bounced on his feet. "Sir, I read about this sort of thing once, sir! The only way to solve it is to kill both of them. It was in the Bible!"The silence rung. Lord Teddie cowered at the King's look."Ah, never mind," he said.
Heather Dixon
In this, then, lies their power of understanding--understanding, without words, what is authentic or inauthentic. Thus it was the grimaces, the histrionisms, the false gestures and, above all, the false tones and cadences of the voice, which rang false for those wordless but immensely sensitive patients. It was to these (for them) most glaring, even grotesque, incongruities and improprieties that my aphasic patients responded, undeceived and undeceivable by words.This is why they laughed at the President's speech.
Oliver Sacks
No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.
Demetri Martin
If I Am murdered en route it will have been well worth while!
Dervla Murphy
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.
Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: "Look out Below!" Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan.
Matthew Heines
The South: Three-wheeled Piggly Wiggly shopping carts, grease-caked engine blocks, baby strollers with shredded black hoods, Soviet rocket parts, human skulls on spikes and orange-eyed Rottweilers on heavy chains breathing fire...
Sean Condon
People stubbornly lived their lives as they wanted, without regard to me, to an amazing degree.
Charlaine Harris
It's like somebody stuffed him in a barrel full of moonshine-proof cluelessness and then left him there to get pickled in it while it fermented into malice.
Alma Alexander
Britain and America couldn't agree on shoe sizing, dress sizing, weight, distance or temperature measurements, but on the scale of breasts, we were of one voice.
Pauline Wiles
Does it seem like I'm out of it? No you seemed like you were in total control as you fell down the stairs.
Aya Nakahara
Not planned... Hoped for maybe, but not planned. I’m a guy. I pretty much always think sex might be an option.
Heather Thurmeier
Wait. Are you about to do something really stupid? -GUARD
Pittacus Lore
Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.
J.K. Rowling
Oh. Dane. That's his name, right?" she asked. "He took our phones and put the shackles on us, but said we could use the phone on the table. I'm not sure if it's some kind of dominance posturing," she trailed off for a moment. "Actually yeah, having been around him for more than thirty seconds, I'm relatively certain that this is one hundred percent, testosterone-laden alpha male posturing. Is Jake like this?""I might be an idiot," I said, "but even I wouldn't fall for this sort of thing. A guy who goes to this length to seem awesome must have a dick the size of a gherkin.
Lynn Red
She wasn’t his kind of woman, and she didn’t want to fall in love with a man who would break her heart like a Dorito.
Rachel Gibson
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
Oliver Oliver Reed
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Oliver Oliver Reed
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!
Oliver Oliver Reed
Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.
Oliver Oliver Reed
If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.
Oliver Oliver Reed
What’s the fuckin’ difference between leggings and tights?
Rene Webb
Teeny, it’ll never be a fair fight with Harry. You’re his Cadillac Ranch…but he’s your Chernobyl.” ~ Ruthie
Anna Lefler
I could not imagine my youngest standing above her soiled grandmother in the wing chair and saying, "mother, let's kill her. "That's the only choice.
Alice Sebold
Optimism is a gift, but one that must be carefully controlled. Your hopeful optimism will get us all killed!
Noelle Crawford
Surrender to the ridiculous
Killian B. Brewer
You're so dehydrated I can hear you blink.
Lori Lansens
I wonder why Steven wasn’t at swimming club tonight?” Archie asked.t“He’s caught bronchitis,” Mrs Akran said.tImran thought for a second before replying. “I would like to catch a dinosaur too. I wonder what he feeds it?”tArchie looked at his friend his face looked as if he was in pain before he burst out laughing. “Imran you’re tragic. Bronchitis is like a bad cold it’s not a type of dinosaur.
Mark A. Cooper
But if we do not dream, then I think perhaps we are misusing our heads. They are not on our shoulders only to be farms for hair.
Brian Doyle
Wow," Jake said, his face going blank. "Assface. Is that a technical term? Maybe some kind of psychiatric diagnosis I'm not familiar with?
Lynn Red
THE UNOFFICIAL AND UNWRITTEN(but you better follow them or you’re going to get beaten twice as hard)SPOKANE INDIAN RULES OF FISTICUFFS:1. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.2. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS GOING TO INSULT YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.3. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.4. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS ANY OF YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY’RE GOING TO INSULT YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY’RE THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.5. YOU SHOULD NEVER FIGHT A GIRL, UNLESS SHE INSULTS YOU, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HER.6. IF SOMEBODY BEATS UP YOUR FATHER OR YOUR MOTHER, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE SON AND/OR DAUGHTER OF THE PERSON WHO BEAT UP YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER.7. IF YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER BEATS UP SOMEBODY, THEN THAT PERSON’S SON AND/OR DAUGHTER WILL FIGHT YOU.8. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY INDIANS WHO WORK FOR THE BUREA OF INDIAN AFFAIRS.9. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY WHITE PEOPLE WHO LIVE ANYWHERE ON THE RESERVATION.10. IF YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY WHO IS SURE TO BEAT YOU UP, THEN YOU MUST THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY PUNCH YOU’LL EVER GET TO THROW.11. IN ANY FIGHT, THE LOSER IS THE FIRST ONE WHO CRIES.
Sherman Alexie
Both of you be safe," Nessa said, looking to Turner. "Welcome to my messed up home, by the way.""Messed up?" Turner asked. "They seem like a loving bunch, all willing to kill each other off. What's family if there isn't any drama?" Turner winked at Nessa, and she nodded in reply. Drama was what the sidhe were all about.
B. Kristin McMichael
At first I'd tried subtlety, but as it happened, Dane's mind - as fierce and strong and powerful as he was - had about the level of subtlety as a locomotive that went off the tracks and then fell off a cliff. And then hit a tree and a nitroglycerine truck.
Lynn Red

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