Uncategorized Quotes - Page 59

There is a cookie trail of all my interests lodged in some digital sphere which will one day consolidate the collected data of six billion souls and vomit out—I don’t know—personalized infomercials for deodorant and car wax.

J. Lincoln Fenn

Fighting with tangles,fighting with curls,the poor barber yanked,the poor barber pulled,until with one last effort(and to the wonder of us all)a GINORMOUS Polar Bearlanded on the floor.

Mili Fay

Life is about more that quotes about life

John Chaplin

whatever you are be a good one

Unknown

Ruric clung to me and shouted, "Your father." Looking down below I saw my father running after us, several alarmed guards trailing him. As I watched, the High Lord's slight demon shape began to shimmer in a remarkable transformation that stretched him out and out and up into a huge and long, black serpentine dragon. It was a glorious sight, one I'd never thought to see. He launched himself gracefully into the air amidst shouted protests from his guards, a large dragon smile on his face that showed more free and delighted emotion than I'd ever seen on his face. ..."His poor guards. An eight-member team set out at a dead run after us. They must be having a hissy fit over my father taking off like that, alone, unguarded. Although I couldn't imagine what could possibly be of threat to a four-ton, fire-breathing dragon.

Sunny

I never said she was a lady.

K. K Weakley

Holy Crap, Kaitriana you are one wicked Witch.

Heather Fleener

No ruby slippers here, just a lot of supernatural jackassess.

Heather Fleener

That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!" Kylie faced her with a growl, causing Kat to reach over and smack her on the upper arm...hard, "Cut its out! You don not get to play the I'm-so-dark-and- twisty-I-deserve-to-be-punished card.

Heather Fleener

That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!""Cut it out! You do not to play the I'm-so-dark-and twisty-I deserve-to-be-punished card.

Heather Fleener

Make requests, not demands.example: “please” kill that zombie honey, I’m out of bullets.

Jesse Petersen

I am an archaeologist of mature vintage. Rapid descents are not my specialty. I am the plodding type."~ Grace Madison, PhD.

N.L.B. Horton

No magnetic wombats, no flying hyenas, no catfish masquerading as samurai, and, MOST CERTAINLY, no Duku jam!

Gina Marinello-Sweeney

Let me know if you're in any pain, we're going through your groin with a tiny tube up to your heart." Doctor Casey said."Really, that's how my girlfriend does it. Only she doesn't have to medicate me first.

Lori Lesko

Pissing out the window, and sh*tting out the window, are two different things!

Tourettes Guy

Behind every humorist who delights in knifing hypocrites is a major self-critic.

Wendy Aron

Muse usually gestured like an amphetamine-fueled Sicilian who's nearly gotten clipped by a speeding car.

Harlan Coben

I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.

E.A. Bucchianeri

Beauty lies in the LIES of the beholder!

Ashok Kallarakkal

My gramps is a lot like you. No sense of adventure. All he does is sit in his urn...

Cleo Peitsche

The Pepto?” I asked.“The Pepto,” he sighed and read the label. “Yes, the Pepto. This, yes. The candies. They’re in here. I found them, yes. I found them here. You. You were sleeping. I found these. They’re yours, yes? I want them. If I can have them. These. These Pepto. Oh… yes. If I can have them I’d be grateful, yes… I’d follow you. I’d follow you now until the day you die. From now until then, yes. I’d follow you and I would be your one true compatriot. The Don Quixote to your Sancho Panza, the Batman to your Robin, the Huckleberry Finn to your Nigger Jim. Yours. You. And… hm… yes. From then on I’d do what you ask of me. As your one true ally to do what you need. I’d be the best friend you have. Best. All I ask for, to be yours until forever, is that you bestow upon me these delightful morsels I have found of yours for my consumptive pleasure.”“Yes,” I said, not thinking twice. “Take it. Eat’em.”“Eat’em, great,” he said. “Yes. A strange name, but I like it. That’s what you will call me then. Eat’em. Thank you for this.

Chase Webster

The early worm catches the fishies and all, you know.

Heather Fleener

Galaxies of nothing are going onin her eyes.

Caitlin Moran

You have to come downstairs now!" panted Alice."What's wrong?""Everything! Izzy's floating, Melanie ran into the wall, my hand made a silver ball and Colleen smashed my keys though the wall!" Alice huffed."Wait, what? Slow down, I didn't catch a word you said," said Jenn."Come on!

Katie Mattie

Most beauty lies in the LIES of the beholder!

Ashok Kallarakkal

Let me tell you something about me. I love vengeance like normal people love sunsets and long walks on the beach. I eat vengeance with a spoon like it's honey. In fact, I may not even be a real person, but just a vow of vengeance made flesh.

Laini Taylor

My life is a plate of perfectly edible but ordinary scrambled eggs. I want them savory, creamy, cheesy and maybe with bacon on the side.

Varsha Bajaj

What about the old standby of kicking a guy in the groin?" "Try to." Love to...

Kresley Cole

I think that the habit of gloomy poetry is very funny. It’s like a special competition in losing.

Miroslav Holub

You said, ‘Ramsey…oh Ramsey…please.’ Please, what?” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Please…let my people go!

Tessa Dawn

First her body goes missing, then her finger.

Bliss Addison

Flirt with the old ladies and you’ll be fine,” I muttered, shoving my stuff into the cubby. He hung his green hoodie on the hooks right beside me. “Is that how you get by?” “Doesn’t work on the old ladies for me, but the old men on the other hand?” I paused and glanced at my nails. “Yeah, doesn’t work on them either.

Katherine McIntyre

Sip tea and coffee with those who say you can, politely stuff with cookies any who say you cannot. Because the stuff they are feeding you, be it the latter,looks strangely a bit like the little chocolate chips.

Tom Althouse

If a wizard should take up residence in your garden, and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.

Mark Jackman

Raney flipped the book over and looked at the jacket cover, realized it was one of the books Bo had left at her house the first summer he'd been in Quentin--one of the few he hadn't read. "It's a novel, Grandpa. ENDER'S GAME by a man named Card. Orson Card," and she continued reading through the first page until he interrupted her again. "I just got out of the hospital--I don't want to hear a story about people having operations." "Well, what DO you want? LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE? "At least I'd learn something useful.

cassella carol

As long as you're not 'gross full,'" Raj said. "That's when you're so full that it's hard to breathe because your stomach is pushing up into your lung region.

Christina Daley

Some people react to suffering by denying the very possibility of God's existence

Michael Ots

Dad said I had no respect for money and that if I didn't learn when I was little when was I going to learn? Kids who get Bart Simpson dolls at the drop of a hat turn into punks who steal from convenience stores, ‘cos they wind up thinking they can have whatever they want, just like that. So instead of a Bart doll he bought me an ugly porcelain pig with a slot in its back, and now I'll grow up to be okay, now I won't turn into a punk.

Etgar Keret

If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic!

Sid Bolon

I met a few chimpanzees on my pilgrimages and I wasn't sure if they were just shrivelled-up villagers or chimps...

Jonathan Dunne

Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed—and it worried him.

Sol Luckman

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Groucho Marx

He was thirty-six years old, and six foot three. He spoke English to people and French to cats, and Latin to the birds. He had once nearly killed himself trying to read and ride a horse at the same time.

Katherine Rundell

If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression.

E.A. Bucchianeri

Did you once own ruby slippers, and did a house fall on your head? You're a daft little munchkin.

Heather Fleener

The photographer was lost for riposte, obvious though it should have been; instead he turned to run. At least his mind did. In fact, his mind had already scooted down the Broad Walk and was clambering over the railings at the end, whereas his body had remained rooted to the spot. With some effort he looked down at his feet as if to reprimand them. They refused to take notice.

James Herbert

All magic cookies with a price!

R. Sonnenfeld

If God gave Abraham a ram to prevent his slaying Isaac, He might stick a donkey in the bush for me to ride up this infernal mountainside.”~ Grace Madison, PhD.

N.L.B. Horton

So what are you supposed to do with it?"He eyed her incredulously. "For real? It's called a butt plug. What do you think you're supposed to do with it?"She scratched her nose and nodded, trying not to let the apprehension show. "Okay. I'll do it. But if it hurts, just let me know and I'll take it out, stat. Don't be a hero."He gaped at her and shook his head. "Aw, no. Sweetie. That's not for me.

Christine Bell

Day blame ornery youngins.

L.Douglas Muncy

Am I higher or lower than she? It was always the vital question for Anna: who was superior, and how she could position herself so that she would be perceived as superior?

Laura L. Sullivan

I'm rarely rude except accidentally, and that doesn't really count...

Laura L. Sullivan

Try picking on someone who can handle you, you worthless little limp dick of a shit." In retrospect I could have picked my taunts a little better. Obviously, the Horned God was very sensitive about his equipment.

K.H. Koehler

To-day well, my Utopia, if ever I framed one, would be a land where the laws demanded that people should be vicious. Then one would be able to count at any rate on a little virtue. If no man might live with a woman in any but an irregular union, there would be at once quite a run on honest matrimony and the Law Courts would be full of desperately wicked monogamists; while if every one was expected to steal and swindle, there would soon be an extensive criminal class who respected property.

Edward Verrall Lucas

I walked back by way of the sea-lions' enclosure to refresh my eyes with the King Penguin's perfect ecclesiastical tailoring. He was pacing moodily about as usual, in what one felt to be the interval between a marriage ceremony and a funeral service. Much better, I thought, to have left the 2000 a year to him. No harm would then be done, and what perfect episcopal garden-parties he could give with it!

Edward Verrall Lucas

A mere wilderness, as you see, even now in December; but in summer a complete nursery of briers, a forest of thistles, a plantation of nettles, without any live stock but goats, that have eaten up all the bark of the trees. Here you see is the pedestal of a statue, with only half a leg and four toes remaining: there were many here once. When I was a boy, I used to sit every day on the shoulders of Hercules: what became of him I have never been able to ascertain. Neptune has been lying these seven years in the dust-hole; Atlas had his head knocked off to fit him for propping a shed; and only the day before yesterday we fished Bacchus out of the horse-pond.

Thomas Love Peacock

Raven: The Honourable Mr Listless is gone. He declared that, what with family quarrels in the morning, and ghosts at night, he could get neither sleep nor peace; and that the agitation was too much for his nerves: though Mr Glowry assured him that the ghost was only poor Crow walking in his sleep, and that the shroud and bloody turban were a sheet and a red nightcap.

Thomas Love Peacock

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!

Christina Scalise

If the pen is mightier than the sword, a sharpie must be plain deadly!

Tom Althouse

Of course I can read", he said. "Jesus Christ.""Well, then, what are you trying to tell me? That you don't want to?" "No. I-" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. "-I don't know why I'm trying to tell you anything. I can read. I just can't read book.""So pretend it's a really long street sign and muddle through it.

Rainbow Rowell

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Uncategorized Quotes - Page 59

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