Uncategorized Quotes - Page 58

Basker possesses three kinds of bite: a snap, a nip, and then something like a buzz saw and an angle grinder mounted on a bear trap.

Peter Høeg

...and it's ridiculous that anyone would praise a child for standing with arms spread out on a wooden cross, as if she were Jesus's dead sister wearing a checkerboard tablecloth.

Amy Tan

if I decide to help you, I want only two things in return. Freedom for my people" - it was what he planned to bargin for all along, and one bargain was good as any other - "and possessiom of the girl.""I'm afraid she's not on the table," Blue eyes said."Of course she isn't on the table," he said confused. "She's right in front of you.

Gene Showalter

What are summer teeth? Summer in their mouth, Some are elsewhere.

Suzanne Woods Fisher

Communist until you get rich. Feminist until you get married. Atheist until the airplane starts falling.

juanda brahma metta

Everybody says I am NOBODY,and you know NOBODY is Perfect.

shaikh mustafa

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Billy Connolly

Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online.Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten fucked—online.

Adrienne Wilder

As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.

Michael Bassey Johnson

It was the job of people like me to make up reasons, to spin a plausible yarn. And it’s amazing what people will believe. Heavy selling out of the Middle East was an old standby. Since no one ever had any clue what the Arabs were doing with their money or why, no story involving Arabs could ever be refuted. So if you didn’t know why the dollar was falling, you shouted out something about Arabs.

Michael Lewis

He shouted into the phone, “That is fuckin’ awesome. I mean fuckin’ awesome. I fuckin’ mean fucking awesome. You are one Big Swinging Dick, and don’t ever let anybody tell you different.” It brought tears to my eyes to hear it, to be called a Big Swinging Dick by the man who, years ago, had given birth to the distinction and in my mind had the greatest right to confer it upon me.

Michael Lewis

Buy potatoes,” he said. “Gotta hop.” Then he hung up. Of course. A cloud of fallout would threaten European food and water supplies, including the potato crop, placing a premium on uncontaminated American substitutes. Perhaps a few folks other than potato farmers think of the price of potatoes in America minutes after the explosion of a nuclear reactor in Russian, but I have never met them.

Michael Lewis

His mama beat him with an ugly stick so hard, it gone straight on till his soul.

Delia Sherman

East or West, Home is BestNorth or South, Hand to Mouth

Doctor You

Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying it wasn't hard to play stupid when you are stupid. Allan said that he didn't know how hard it was, because the idiots Allan had met so far in his life had all tried to do the opposite.

Jonasson

What better time to be kind to a beautiful stranger than when she’s weak, and rocking a schnoz like the Godfather?

Leslea Tash

age is a state of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

Satchel Paige

May my hands fall from my wrists before I kill an artist like yourself," said the man in black. "I would as soon destroy da Vinci. However"—and here he clubbed Inigo's head with the butt of his sword—"since I can't have you following me either, please understand that I hold you in the highest respect.

William Goldman

The dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever.

William Goldman

How many beers do y'all think it takes before one internationally scientist turns to another and says, 'Dude, bet you twenty bucks I can levitate a frog with a magnet?' ' Sam drawled.

Robyn Schneider

Hello there," Inigo hollered when he could wait no more.The man in black glanced up and grunted."I've been watching you."The man in black nodded."Slow going," Inigo said."Look, I don't mean to be rude," the man in black said finally, "but I'm rather busy just now, so try not to distract me.""I'm sorry," Inigo said.The man in black grunted again."I don't suppose you could speed things up," Inigo said."If you want to speed things up so much," the man in black said, clearly quite angry now, "you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find some other helpful thing to do.

William Goldman

Pantheism is sexed-up atheism. Deism is watered-down theism.

Richard Dawkins

The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).

Demetri Martin

Paranoid means you are aware of 10% of the problem

Oran Kangas

Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?

Demetri Martin

Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

Demetri Martin

Oh golly, Brer Fox, your forthright assertion—that evolutionary biology disproves the idea of a creator God—jeopardises the teaching of biology in science class, since teaching that would violate the separation of church and state!' Right. You also ought to soft-pedal physiology, since it declares virgin birth impossible

Richard Dawkins

Earlier maps had underestimated the distances to other continents and exaggerated the outlines of individual nations. Now global dimensions could be set, with authority, by the celestial spheres. Indeed, King Louis XIV of France, confronted with a revised map of his domain based on accurate longitude measurements, reportedly complained that he was losing more territory to his astronomers than to his enemies.

Dava Sobel

His words were coated with glorious boredom

Sarah J Maas

You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be doing her customer service routine and stringing you along in hopes of a big tip the next time you come in. With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand, it's so much easier. Why can't humans do that?

Kevin Hearne

There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you’re determined to dislike for no good reason.

Gregory David Roberts

College = A place where you spend a ton of money for a piece of paper that says you're qualified.

Korey Miracle

Why are you worrying about you-know-who?You should be worrying about u-no-poo!The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

J.K. Rowling

You think you have a handle on God, the Universe, and the Great White Light until you go home for Thanksgiving. In an hour, you realize how far you've got to go and who is the real turkey.

Shirley Maclaine

No,I just thought I'd shoot bullets out of my nose

Veronica Roth

Showing up underdressed is as smart as standing in the marketplace and shouting you've become an agent for the crown.""I'd hang myself first. I hate being a female.""Well until you sprout a beard and cock there you are.

Lynn Viehl

You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones... basically every part of you will notice, go into withdrawals, and stage a coup). Be prepared for this mentally, and you'll own this "thing.

Lisa Jey Davis

You look good as a Pirate." Erin"Ahoy, matey," he said, laying her back against the grass. "Me cap'n's ship needs a port." V' Aidan"Me cap'n's port needs a ship." Erin

Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm a devil at a quick mistake, and when I make one it takes the form of Lead.

Charles Dickens

Before we got married we asked our grandfathers, whose own marriages had lasted forty years or more, "What is the secret to a happy marriage? And they paused, looked down at their chicken salad, and said, 'You really have to like each other. After the attraction, you really have to like the person.'" ...our mothers tolds us...ask him how his day was. Take an interest in his profession.

TaraShea Nesbit

I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

Brian MacLearn

... the lawnmower sounded like bottle caps in a blender.

Julie Jaret

The difference between Strauss and Ranieri?” says one trader still at Salomon. “That’s easy. Strauss wouldn’t stoop to use the men’s room on the trading floor. He’d go upstairs. Lewie would piss on your desk.

Michael Lewis

I recalled thinking...His freakishly tidy side could be a problem. To say that neatness was not my strong suit would be a crime against, well, the truth.

Betsy Cook Speer

If the Good Lord meant men to use percussion caps, he wouldn't have strung flint all over the ground.

Taylor Anderson

Ryker, you ride with Orlando,” Ryker mocked in a snarky voice as he turned to the other man. He gestured toward the Pinto with a look of revulsion on his rugged face. “How the hell does he expect both of us to fit into that tiny metal trap? Even if we could squeeze in, the tires will probably pop. In fact, let's just carry it over. It'll be faster that way.

Rose Wynters

It felt like an eternity before he gingerly lifted himself from the table and staggered backwards. Glass shards protruded from chest to groin. The guy looked like a bloody porcupine. A cute, tall bloody porcupine. I’m tall too. Five foot ten. But he had at least four inches on me, even with my thick-heeled boots.“What’s your name?” he slurred. While visions of reckless homicide charges danced in my head, I contemplated using an alias. Finally, I said my real name, “Sam.”“Nice to meet you, Sammers. I’m Jake,” he said.

Betsy Cook Speer

And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.

Robert J. Morrissette

My son's got the I.Q. Of a robot but I don't have the dough to send him to school.

Jonathan Dunne

When you want something done, you ask a man. When you want it done quietly and without any fuss, you ask a woman.

Mercedes Lackey

Diesel sucked air. "You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.""I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!""Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys.

Janet Evanovich

You took your clothes off?""You didn't notice?""No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you.""If you look under the covers, you'll know me better.""I don't want to know you better!""That's a big fib," Diesel said.

Janet Evanovich

If this was mental illness, or even just a particularly clinical case of adolescence, I was bearing up pretty well.

Barbara Ehrenreich

You’re a terrible woman Nox, but by the stars I love you beyond words themselves,

K. K Weakley

They were Republicans, Nixon Republicans, and so didn't subscribe to the notion that laws are supposed to apply to all people equally.

Bill Bryson

One of the fundamental axioms of masculine self-regard is that the tools and appurtenances of a man's life must be containable within the pockets of his jacket and pants. Wallet, keys, gum, show or ball game tickets, Kleenex, condoms, cell phone, maybe a lighter and a pack of cigarettes: Just cram it all in there, motherfucker.

Michael Chabon

When they see the light at the end of the tunnel, some people run towards it. I, however, run from it as fast as I can because I know that it's attatched to a speeding train coming in our direction. And if I were you, staring at that light drooling and saying "Ooh, pretty," I would run as fast as my legs could carry me, because I don't plan on dying early with the rest of you fools.

Stephanie Tom

Free will always results in collateral damage.

J. Lincoln Fenn

Mama said there would be days like this.She never said it would be day after day,after day!~ Unknown

Candace Mumford

you only live once.Unless you a zombie

idk

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Uncategorized Quotes - Page 58

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