Uncategorized Quotes - Page 55

I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.

One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.

Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on at the 1st as to which of the two would arrive at work wearing the other's skin as a hat within the year.

Warren Ellis

You may want to reconsider. Cheese sticks will take residency on your ass," I respond with a sarcastic smile, tilting my head to the side. "You would know," she snorts. "Actually, I wouldn't. I don't eat this shit since I see the tons of grease that it fries in every day. But be my guest, I'm sure you wouldn't mind adding to the cottage cheese factory on your thighs.

Ashley Wilcox

Soon the grizzly was joined by a brown bear, a sun bear, and a beaver suffering from an identity crisis of magnificent proportion

Cameron Dokey

I am no indiscriminate novel reader. The mere trash of the common circulating library I hold in the highest contempt.

Jane Austen

Karma: I know I've seen this man someplace before.Artie (as McGuffey): Considering some of the places I frequent lady that's a comprising remark!Wild Wild West TV Season 1Night of the Flaming Ghost

Wild Wild West TV

Jim: Green and red. (pulls on green lever which closes a door)Artie: Very impressive. (stops Jim from pulling the red lever). Uh...did it ever occur to you that red might mean danger?Jim: For instance?Artie: For instance, red for fire. Fire of explosion.Jim: What would they want to explode?Artie: Those who fool around with their levers.Wild Wild West Season 4Night of the Big Blackmail

Wild Wild West TV TV

May we do it again? She sounds remarkably bright and cheerful. 'And I didn't bleed. My mother said I would experience great agony.''Half an hour.''I beg your pardon? Your mumbling.'Eyes closed, I attempt to enunciate a little more clearly. 'In half an hour or so. Probably. And your mother was misinformed.''What am I suppose to do in the meantime?''Oh. Read a Sermon. Embroider something

Janet Mullany

Being a monk was the strangest and most perverted way of life imaginable. Monks spent half their lives putting themselves through pain and discomfort that they could easily avoid, and the other half muttering meaningless mumbo jumbo in empty churches at all hours of the day and night. They deliberately shunned anything good—girls, sports, feasting and family life.

Ken Follett

I regret it is not possible to marry by post.

Janet Mullany

He invited me to dinner Thursday night," Rusty said. "I'm going to have to go to his house.""I don't think he invited you to dinner," Delilah said. "I think he invited you because you are dinner.

Penelope Rivers

...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard comment).

G.M. Malliet

This was shaping up to be the worst conference call of my life, even worse than that time I accidentally clogged the school toilet back in the first grade with my Boba Fett figure (I was pretending it was the Sarlaac pit).

Rick Gualtieri

Jim: By the way Artie. How are you going to escape?Artie: Oh, the usual way. Guile.. cunning...trickery.Wild Wild West Season 3Night of the Arrow

Wild Wild West TV

I think I’m coming up on the ess curve, so I’m going to hang up and concentrate on driving. In the snow. Which wasn’t supposed to happen until tomorrow afternoon.Gee, Kels, I didn’t know you believed in the weatherman. Do you still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, too? How about the Easter Bunny?All right. Point taken.

Lani Aames

This must be the most embarrassing moment in my life. I am glad I am too ill to appreciate it fully.

Janet Mullany

Today was my forty-fifth birthday. Impending old age and a problem marriage were staring me in the face. Not a good place to be. I figured that right now, I had two choices — crawl out of the pit, or wallow and die. To wallow or not to wallow? That was the question. Look at Scarlett O’Hara. Did she cry and whine when Rhett walked out the door not giving a damn? Well, okay, she did. But not for long, I’ll bet. Not Scarlett. Same story here, baby, same story here.

Karen Cantwell

But I regret to inform you that you are probably not dying''As you will.' I take a swig from the bottle of brandy, my teeth chattering against it. I don't have the energy to argue; I must save my strength for my imminent demise.

Janet Mullany

Of course, you won't confirm or deny it, which means I'm probably right, since if I was wrong, you'd be gloating about it.

Keith R.A. DeCandido

I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him.

Janet Mullany

In truth, he had always considered the sight of men eating croissants slightly ridiculous, especially at the beginning, when for the first bite they had to maneuver the point of the crescent into their mouths. No matter what a person did, he ended up with an asymmetrical mouthful of pastry, which he then had to relocate with his tongue to a more central location. This made him look less purposive than he might. Also, croissants were more apt than other breakfast foods to spray little flakes all over one’s clean dark suit. Art himself had accordingly never ordered a croissant in any working situation, and he believed that attention to this sort of detail was how it was that he had not lost his job like so many of his colleagues.

Gish Jen

... a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.

Terry Pratchett

Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up.

Ridley Pearson

But stay away from him, Juliana. When we said we wanted to make you a good match, Leighton was not who we imag

Sarah MacLean

I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?''People who like things neat?''Its not natural.

Rachel Caine

He had a bright, reckless tenor that was always wandering off, looking for notes in the wrong places.

Patrick Rothfuss

... It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. "Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why I asked.""No, I am not having sex with anyone.""Oh." I shrugged nonchalantly, but for some reason his response filled me with glee. It was as if a unicorn had appeared beneath a double rainbow and started tap dancing.

Penny Reid

And his father has the gall to think I’d seduce a kid who uses Clearasil instead of aftershave!

Elaine Raco Chase

Putting the brakes on is not an easy thing for a vamp to do. It's kind of like a shark trying to stop a feeding frenzy, or that old potato chip slogan: "Bet you can't eat just one.

Jim Grayson

He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I’ve slept with.

Lila Shaw

The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.

Flip Wilson

Although life and I are not always in love with each other, we do remain on close speaking terms.

Brian Randleas Harmony

Put down that bottle and pickup an Oreo instead...you"ll live longer! #JustSaying

Timothy Pina

Any idea why there is a giant penis made out of snow in our front yard?"Instead of an answer, I was rewarded with a face full of graham cracker cereal and milk." - from Of Cheerleaders and Gingers

K.C. Beaumont

My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong.

Nicole Peeler

Save yourselves!" Percy warned. "It is too late for us!" Then he gasped and pointed to the spot where Frank was hiding. "oh no! Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!" Nothing happened. "I said," Percy repeated, "Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin." Frank stumbled out of nowhere, making a big show of grabbing his throat. "oh no," he said, like he was reading from a teleprompter, "I am turning into a crazy dolphin.

Rick Riordan

Listen up, Mount High-Hair," Gustav barked. "Say what you want about me, but lay off the rest of the team. I've been through a lot of stuff with these people. Nobody can tell me that Fancy Dancer and Lady Slick-Pants aren't heroes. Captain Gloom-Cape over there, too. And even Shrimp Charming has his moments." Briar leaned back in her chair. "I admire your ability to insult your friends *while* you defend them. It's a rare talent.

Christopher Healy

In short, we derive support for our preferred conclusions by listening to the words that we put in the mouths of people who have already been preselected for their willingness to say what we want to hear.

Daniel M. Gilbert

Bast crouched down and began making weird chittering noises. Uh-oh. She was imitating birds. I'd seen enough cats do this when they were stalking. Suddenly my own obituary flashed in my head: Carter Kane, 14, tragically died in Paris wen he was eaten by his sister's cat, Muffin.

Rick Riordan

I sailed on the cold air currents above the rooftops of Paris. I could see the river, the Louvre Museum, the gardens and palaces. And a mouse-yum. Hang on, Carter, I thought. not hunting mice.

Rick Riordan

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together, what could it be….”Was this my ultra-dose of Intoxicated taking effect?“I know!” said the prince happily. “You’re a national disgrace!”“And do you know what else is interesting,” I replied. “In America, Prince is a dog’s name.

Paul Rudnick

Am I a human? Yes. Then I like The Princess Bride.

Remy Richard

Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.''You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've got CRAFT too.''What's that?''Can't. Remember. A. Fuc-

Cecelia Ahern

It was the study hour. Most of the monks were reading. A few were meditating, an activity that was suspiciously similar to dozing.

Ken Follett

Eve: I don't understand this word..."Freedom." Does it mean...I do what I want?Sven: Yes.Eve: Then I wouldn't have to kill anymore?Sven: No more killing.

Kentaro Yabuki

Tell me about yourself.' A strange thing for a husband to ask a wife.

Janet Mullany

One thing I’d realized in the last year was that there were some things no one could give you permission to do. All the same, it didn’t mean you couldn’t or shouldn’t do them— particularly when it came to the big things, like saving the world, or journeying to a supernatural seam between realities, or bringing your boyfriend back from the dead.

Kami Garcia

Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others

Yana Toboso

…When you’ve know me longer, you’ll learn that I mean everything I say.”“Even the lies?”“Especially the lies. Lord Petyr…

George R.R. Martin

You hit the Lord of The Titans with a blue plastic hairbrush.

Rick Riordan

Leah" Olivia says quietly, "if you point at me again I'm going to break that manicured finger right off your hand. Now turn around and smile, your daughter is waking up.

Tarryn Fisher

Hermione: You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cocroach!Ron: Hermione, no! He's no worth it.

J.K. Rowling

Hagrid: Harry -- yer a wizard.Harry: I'm a what?

J.K. Rowling

Hermione: You! You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!

J.K. Rowling

Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!

J.K. Rowling

[Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing. The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked carrots. 'This is Koboi Labs,' He mumbled around a mouthful of vegetable. 'That?' exclaimed Root. 'I realize, Julius, that it is not an accurate schematic.'The Commander exploded from his chair. 'An accurate schematic? It's a rectangle for heaven's sake!'Mulch was unperturbed. 'That's not important. This is the important bit.' 'That wobbly line?' 'It's a fissure,' pouted the dwarf. 'Anybody can see that.''Anybody in kindergarten maybe. So it's a fissure, so what?''This is the clever bit. Y'see that fissure is not usually there.'Root began strangling the air again. Something he was doing more and more lately.

Eoin Colfer

Are you going to be all right now?" Loki asked. He'd walked me over here, and he waited just inside the doorway."Yeah I'm great," I lied and sat on the bed. "The entire kingdom is falling apart. People are dying. I have to kill my father. And my husband just went crazy

Amanda Hocking

I laugh. Yer crazy, I says.I was fine till I met you, he says.

Moira Young

If you were an animal, what would you be?" I wrote, "A bumblebee trying to fuck a marble.

Wells Tower

Previous 1 … 53 54 55 56 57 … 503 Next

Uncategorized Quotes - Page 55

Related Topics