Uncategorized Quotes - Page 52

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.

...I like the way Chee kept God magical, sorta like Santa Claus when you're a kid. More priests should take this approach, because there is a frickin' reason why Santa Claus is more popular than Jesus nowadays.

Matthew Quick

Any day above ground is a good day.

Robert Gerus

The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I push my hair backward and forward a few times - but I can't hide it. Maybe I could walk along with my hand carelessly positioned at my head, as if I'm thinking hard. I attempt a few casual, pensive poses in the mirror."Is your head all right?"I swivel round in shock to see Nathaniel at the open door, wearing a plaid shirt and jeans."Er...fine," I say, my hand still glued to my head. "I was just..."Oh, there's no point. I bring my hand down from my hair and Nathaniel regards the streak for a moment."It looks nice," he says. "Like a badger.""A badger?" I say, affronted. "I don't look like a badger.""Badgers are beautiful creatures," says Nathaniel with a shrug. "I'd rather look like a badger than a stoat.

Sophie Kinsella

A reputation for money is almost as negotiable as money itself.

John Steinbeck

One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow

Gladys Bronwyn Stern

Society teaches us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The bill of rights informs us that we have the right to keep it to ourselves.

Brian Randleas

If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him.

Alan Moore

I may be a burglar...but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Certainly no one has ever died of an unrequited passion—it's usually the ones that are requited that get people in trouble.

Mercedes Lackey

To-morrow I will begin," thought Katy, as she dropped asleep that night. How often we all do so! And what a pity it is that when morning comes and to-morrow is to-day, we so frequently wake up feeling quite differently; careless or impatient, and not a bit inclined to do the fine things we planned overnight.

Susan Coolidge

‎What a blight that woman is. Do you happen to know why? I lean toward a malignant fairy at her christening.

Mary Ann Shaffer

Daddy had a strict rule about firearms. Anything we killed we had to eat. No amount of barbecue sauce would make a hairy guy like you palatable.

Diane Kelly

Jessamine blew out her cheeks in exasperation. "I think you ought to let me take poor Tessa into town to get some new clothes. Otherwise, the first time she takes a deep breath, that dress will fall right off her."Will looked interested. "I think she should try that out right now and see what happens.

Cassandra Clare

We took a right at the fork, heading farther north. The charred houses continued. To the right, a large sign nailed to an old telephone post shouted DANGER in huge red letters. Underneath in crisp black letters was written:IM-1: Infectious Magic AreaDo Not EnterAuthorized Personnel OnlyA second smaller sign under the first one, written on a piece of plastic with permanent marker, read:Keep out, stupid.“We aren’t going to keep out, are we?” Ascanio asked.“No.”“Awesome.

Ilona Andrews

For it was intelligence that was the thin line between endearing rapscallion and idiot bastard. - Éibhear the Contemptible

G.A. Aiken

But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.

David Sedaris

Ooooohh, I heard you had an STD, but I thought it was just a rumor. Does it really burn?" - Moose in reference to Jadyn's "burning bush" -

Jillian Dodd

But you want to know about the influence of books on my life, and as I’ve said, there was only one. Seneca. Do you know who he was? He was a Roman philosopher who wrote letters to imaginary friendstelling them how to behave for the rest of their lives.. Maybe that sounds dull, but the letters aren’t – they’re witty. I think you learn more if you’re laughing at the same time.

Mary Ann Shaffer

Where would Jesus be if no one ever wrote the gospels?

Chuck Palahniuk

I'd spent five minutes looking at Twitter once and felt I'd wandered into a poker game where everyone immediately displayed their hands against the cool green of the felt.

Jeff Abbott

He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.

Christine Feehan

ELVIS & MARILYN:The deader they get -the more money they make.

Chocolate Waters

Today, Aaron decided, he would begin to grieve in earnest. He would walk the lonely beach, mocked by gulls, uncaring, his every step a stately rebuke to the malign forces that had blighted his fate. His was the tragedy of a man who couldn't have his own way, and he intended to make known his anguish in the solemn solitude that only a stretch of sand, a suspiring sea, and a beetling cliff could provide.

Joseph Caldwell

A Man can Live two Weeks without Food,go two days without Water,and two minutes without Air,and apparently,an entire lifetime without a BRAIN.

Walter Thomas Jr

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

Neil Leckman

If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?

Neil Leckman

You could have heard a bee fluff

S.W. Lothian

Time passed quickly. Constant did not move.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a moth saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire".

Cherise Sinclair

You are an old pig!'one of them said to the other. 'And that is worse than being a young one.

Ivan Turgenev

The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the Asteroid Belt. Unlike a bimbo box or a Burb beater, the Deliverator's car unloads that power through gaping, gleaming, polished, sphincters. When the Deliverator puts the hammer down, shit happens.

Neal Stephenson

Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you tell me why.” “Because I’m a man. I’ve got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys.” Darren was laughing over the phone now, and it made Reece grin. “And Ben isn’t a prince, he’s a cop. A big, sexy cop who fucks like a machine. He’s a man. I’m a man. We’re men.” He nodded sharply. “Now fuck off. I’m arranging flowers.

L.A. Gilbert

He never did get right all the way again. And every once in a while he'd come down all bitey.

Jonathan Maberry

None are so busy as the fool and knave.

John Dryden

Are you certain they never cut your member off?" Tormund gave a shrug, as if to say he would never understand such madness. "Well, you are a free man now, but if you will have the girl, best find yourself a she-bear. If a man does not use his member it grows smaller and smaller, until one day he wants to piss and cannot find it.

George R.R. Martin

Believe in something, and let that something be yourself.

Harley Brooks

There's no such thing as a sane woman.

Andrew Sturm

One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all the ass time this seat had seen before we moved in. This is a horrible invention. What's the plan? You want to create a toilet seat so comfortable that you can fall asleep while you're taking a shit? You're going to show up late for work or end up like Elvis.

Adam Carolla

Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy Starr instead.

Marie Clair

When life gives you lemons, put your lipstick on!

Dana Page

If you can't beat them and don't care to join them, Then " FU*K THEM".

Katraina L Flowers

I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.

Joshua Donellan

Why, you boggle-eyed, flap-tongued, drag-bellied offspring of unmentionable algae! You seething little leprous blotch of bat-nibbled fungus! You cringing parasite on the underside of a dwarfish and ignoble worm!

Lewis Padgett

An oldtimer is a person who's had many interesting experiences, some of them true.

Bob Gilluly

When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up.

Spuds Crawford

He was rather a low sort of pony. The fact is, he had been originally jobbed out by the day, and he never quite got over his old habits. He was clever in melodrama too, but too broad--too broad. When the mother died, he took the port-wine business.''The port-wine business!' cried Nicholas.'Drinking port-wine with the clown,' said the manager; 'but he was greedy, and one night bit off the bowl of the glass, and choked himself, so his vulgarity was the death of him at last.

Charles Dickens

There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. One was set in a fantastic world, populated by outlandish characters,tired prose, foul monsters, evil incarnate and a message about losing one's humanity. The other book was about hobbits.

Christopher Odell Homsley

Nature" doesn't really have intentions, per se. Nature is a drunk waking up from a weekend bender, ambling through a messy kitchen in a pair of mismatched slippers, seeing its car in the neighbor's pool and saying, "Ah good. It was dirty. Just the thing.

Pat Connid

Writing is a lonely pursuit. The only thing working is imagination and hands.The only difference between writing and masturbation is one is presumably intended for a mass audience.

Mark Bell

I love fortune readings! because when I get in troubles, if the reading says that I am in a lucky day, I can think my troubles are just some kind of mistakes, and if the reading says that I am in the unlucky day, I can think that my troubles are just because of my bad luck. Either ways, I can know the reason of my troubles.

Hiroko Sakai

...Anand, look at the back of my hands. No hair. The sign of an advanced race, boy. And look at yours. No hair either. But you never know. With some of your mother's bad blood flowing in your veins you could wake up one morning and find yourself hairy like a monkey

V.S. Naipaul

When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing...

Hiroko Sakai

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people?

Mari Donne

yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had to dump him because he stole my inspiration of bent clock*~* .... who cares...

Hiroko Sakai

...I gotta burn these scales... sigh*

Hiroko Sakai

His eyes, green with yellow sparks, and with elongated pupils like a cat’s, made his grandmother gasp and say: ‘Jesus! He has the devil’s eyes!

Olga Núñez Miret

Adelina knew perfectly well who the father was, but she worked hard to forget it, and by the end of her life she would insist that Jesús was her child and hers only.

Olga Núñez Miret

I have no clue. I have ovaries; therefore, I repel all things mechanical.

M. Leighton

I like stories about supervillains. They teach children that you can accomplish great things even when the whole world is against you.

G.D. Falksen

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Uncategorized Quotes - Page 52

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