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A lack of engagement sends the message that you may not care, are not interested, are too busy, or that the other person does not matter to you. Even though this is rarely your intention, it can happen when you’re not being mindful and deliberate to connect in the moment.
Susan C.Young
Being 100 percent in the moment and focusing on the person you’re with is one of the finest compliments you can offer. One of the most respectful and considerate things you can do for another is to truly be with them in the here and now.
Susan C.Young
Employee Engagement“Employee Engagement” has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls’ “The State of the American Workforce” survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it’s costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled.
Susan C.Young
Why is this disengagement epidemic becoming the new norm? A few reasons I have witnessed in speaking with companies across the country include . . .•tInformation overload•tDistractions•tStress/overwhelmed•tApathy/detachment•tShort attention span•tFear, worry, anxiety•tRapidly changing technology•tEntitlement•tPoor leadership•tPreoccupation•tSocial media•tInterruptions•tMultitasking•tBudget cuts•tExhaustion•tBoredom•tConflict•tSocial insecurity•tLack of longevityThese challenges not only create separation and work dysfunction, but we are seeing it happen in relationships and personal interactions.
Susan C.Young
When you are fully present and engaged in your workplace, you will demonstrate that you care about the success of your organization, are a team player, have a can-do attitude, and will go the extra mile to fulfill and exceed expectations.
Susan C.Young
These qualities make a great impression on your boss, your teams, and your customers. You will be more respected, noticed, and appreciated in the process. As your own "CEO of Self," projecting this positive level of engagement furthers your own personal reputation and interests for healthy communication, networking, and positive first impressions. An added bonus is that YOU will receive great benefits from putting forth this type of effort. Whether it be self-esteem, new training, cooperation, experience, or a raise or bonus, the rewards are extensive and many.
Susan C.Young
11 Ways to Be More Engaged 1.tCare about others.2.tBe 100 percent in the moment. 3.tKeep focus on the person you are serving. 4.tTry to get involved, engaged, and interactive.5.tShow interest in what matters to other people by listening, acknowledging, and responding.6.tArrive in the moment anticipating creating a valuable interaction for yourself and others.7.tMove towards the things that inspire you and provide a sense of joy and connection.8.tReconnect with the essence of yourself and be grounded in that essential relationship.9.tMaintain eye contact and deliver the non-verbal cues that you are fully with the other person.10.tLimit distractions— close the door, silence your phone, hold calls, put tasks aside, etc.11.tShow up to the moment being your best and giving your best.
Susan C.Young
Just be Nice. Nice—this little word has a big meaning. Use it generously. Being nice helps people feel emotionally safe, allowing for more authentic, trusting, and happy interactions.
Susan C.Young
Be Brave. Bravery takes fortitude—put yourself on the line, even if you risk failing, falling, being embarrassed, or looking stupid—if being brave were easy, more people would be. Just try it!
Susan C.Young
Manners Matter. Courteous behavior is the hallmark of healthy relations and human interaction. Manners ensure you will be more respected, admired, and appreciated. Thank you!
Susan C.Young
With your mind alert and your eyes wide open, you will be better able to assess your space and your place for optimizing exchanges and your communication impressions.
Susan C.Young
Becoming more socially aware involves greater understanding of the dynamics of social interactions to assure you achieve harmonious outcomes.
Susan C.Young
When you are socially aware, you will realize whether you are forcing yourself into a conversation or have actually been invited to participate.
Susan C.Young
Sometimes you must earn the right to be included. Otherwise, you may appear awkward or pushy.
Susan C.Young
When a person is focused completely on self it is nearly impossible to be mindful of others at the same time. That is a contradiction for healthy communication, networking, and relationship building.
Susan C.Young
Sometimes it is better to refrain from engaging in conversation because making no impression is better than making a bad impression.
Susan C.Young
When people can't give anything and are only there for themselves, why should others use their time and energy to get involved? There's no benefit.
Susan C.Young
Do you attend networking events to give out as many cards as possible or is it your intention to deliver something of value? When you are busy charging ahead with your own agenda, you're not meeting the needs of anyone but yourself—and it's obvious!
Susan C.Young
At a Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast, two of my friends and I were standing in a circle talking. A stranger approached, interrupted our little reunion, and gave each of us her card. She then began talking about herself and her business without a hint of social awareness, or care about her interruption. She even had the tactless gall to ask us for referrals. When she left our small circle, we looked at each other and laughed, “What was that?
Susan C.Young
Situational awareness enables you to observe your periphery with a clear vision and emotional foresight, which may inevitably keep you socially, physically, or professionally out of harm's way. Connect the dots.
Susan C.Young
When you enter a room, a social situation, or a business meeting, be mindful of cues; read between the lines to better understand people and events. What do these things tell you?
Susan C.Young
How do you know when to advance the conversation or when there's something still unresolved? When you are situationally aware, you watch the body language and notice the cues that are given to you. Listening and observing are being mindful in the best sense of the word.
Susan C.Young
Being “appropriate” means being suitable, fitting, relevant, or proper in a situation. What may be appropriate in one circumstance can be terribly inappropriate in another. How does one discern? Sometimes it is simply a matter of maturity and experience.
Susan C.Young
Contextual awareness represents a continuum of behaviors, which illustrates how and why groups of people unite or divide among cultures.
Susan C.Young
When you have orientational awareness, your perceptions and impressions are based on location and proximity. Orientation may imply hierarchy, position, and prestige, or be the result of habits, traditions, and perceptions.
Susan C.Young
In America, when a man walks in front of a woman it may imply that they are not equals and he is exerting dominance over her, or being arrogant and rude. In a different culture, however, it may be presumed that he is someone worthy of profound respect and is protecting her by going first.
Susan C.Young
On a recent business trip, I reunited with a friend I had not seen in twenty years. After having a lovely lunch meeting, we came out of the restaurant to walk towards the parking lot. He automatically moved me to the inside of the sidewalk as he walked along the curbside. His orientational awareness illustrated a chivalrous gesture of protection and respect which impressed me greatly.
Susan C.Young
Our cultural lens is so much a part of us that we are not even aware of how obvious it is to others. Like the nose on your face, you may forget that it is there, but everyone else sees it. I can’t look at you and not see your nose.
Susan C.Young
Presenting “Mix, Mingle & Glow” in a social context is a lovely way to describe how you can make a great first impression by taking the initiative to help other people shine. Think of the times when you have attended an event where there were a lot of people.
Susan C.Young
ASK YOURSELF: Do you remember a gracious hostess, an engaging guest, or someone who worked the room like a honey bee in a flower garden? They would glide from one person to the next, spreading good will and cheer, being the glue that brought everyone together with ease.
Susan C.Young
By your practice of active listening, everyone involved benefits because you . . .•tare more engaged and engaging;•tdemonstrate that you are interested in others and what they have to say;•tmake others feel important, respected, understood, and appreciated; •timprove your memory and retention;•taffirm to others that you are an authentic, caring, and compassionate person;make a great first and last impression
Susan C.Young
If the skill of participatory listening came effortlessly and easy for everyone, there would not be so many misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, irritations, and frustrations.
Susan C.Young
Active listening is key to all healthy and effective communication, however, it doesn't necessarily come easily.
Susan C.Young
Through the years, I have heard that the average person speaks at about 150-160 words per minute, but can listen at a rate of about 1,000 words per minute. What is going on during all that extra mind time? •tOur minds are racing ahead and preparing for the next thing we are going to say.•tWe are preoccupied with other thoughts, priorities, and distractions.•tOur subconscious filters are thumbing through our database of memories, judgments, experiences, perspectives, and opinions to frame how we are going to interpret what we think someone is saying.
Susan C.Young
While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.
Susan C.Young
You can have the perfect message, but it may fall on deaf ears when the listener is not prepared or open to listening.These listening "planes" were first introduced by the American composer Aaron Copland (1900-1990) as they pertain to music . . . 1.tThe Sensual Plane: You’re aware of the music, but not engaged enough to have an opinion or judge it.2.tThe Expressive Plane: You become more engaged by paying attention, finding meaning beyond the music, and noticing how it makes you feel.3.tThe Musical Plane: You listen to the music with complete presence, noticing the musical elements of melody, harmony, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and form.
Susan C.Young
When you become an actively engaged listener, you will develop the mindful awareness that active listening involves multiple layers and distinct levels.
Susan C.Young
To make matters even more complicated, research has shown that we remember only 25-50 percent of what we hear. This inclination not only compromises our connection with another person, but we can fail to retain vital information. All this evidence demonstrates that it is imperative that we intentionally pay closer attention and strive to become an in-depth listener.
Susan C.Young
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be a natural communicator and know exactly what, when, why, and how to speak so that your message is conveyed and received as you intend?
Susan C.Young
Communicating negatively (gossiping, bragging, bullying, and criticizing) can be disastrous to your reputation, cause you to lose the respect of others, and leave a terrible impression. Why leave this essential expertise up to chance when it can make or break the success of your relations?
Susan C.Young
The Art of Communication shares insights to help you communicate with a higher awareness and focused intention and meet people on their level to increase clarity and understanding.
Susan C.Young
When you begin conversations with confidence and listen attentively, you will become more flexible and adaptable in most any situation.
Susan C.Young
Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening at this very moment and being keenly aware of your surroundings and the people in it.
Susan C.Young
Whether your awareness is focused on your own emotions and perceptions or directed toward the preferences, needs, and feelings of others, being mindful (aware and attentive) will enable you to respond more appropriately.
Susan C.Young
This deliberate focus and sensitivity allow you to "put yourself in another person’s shoes and walk around a while" to better understand where they are coming from and what they are all about.
Susan C.Young
Mindfulness is a quiet strength and deeply rooted value which many other cultures understand and often practice better than we do. It can be puzzling to people from other countries as to why Americans are so task-driven and action-oriented.
Susan C.Young
Developing this ability instills a sixth sense for navigating human relationships with dignity, grace, and discretion, thus making an intentional and thoughtful first impression.
Susan C.Young
As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one’s own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible—where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things.
Susan C.Young
Although it may serve you well, any strength or skill which is overused can become a limitation when it forces you to constantly be moving and looking for the next best thing. Distractions, interruptions, and incessantly chasing after the next golden ring can become the norm.
Susan C.Young
Your encounters will be more successful when you slow down, pay attention, and become more mindfully aware of the world around you. Heightening your awareness in your social, situational, contextual, orientational, and cultural scenarios will improve your agility as you adapt to new social settings.
Susan C.Young
Sociologically speaking, as Americans we often lack social, cultural, and mindful awareness. We hear the stories of how our arrogance has been known to offend, confuse, and alienate people from other cultures. Arrogance is the thief of mindfulness and it happens from both directions.
Susan C.Young
To gain greater understanding, clarity, and awareness, you must become aware of your values and beliefs. Think of a triangle or an iceberg. Below the waterline, your beliefs and your values build the foundation for your behavior.
Susan C.Young
We will judge others based on their behaviors with little to no understanding or regard for their beliefs or values—standards we may not know, nor typically see. When we do this, things can be taken completely out of context because we are assessing their behavior against our expectations, which are produced from our own personal value system.
Susan C.Young
Navigating relationships within our own culture can be challenging enough. When diverse cultures are involved, however, a huge potential for misunderstanding, disrespect, miscommunication, and intolerance is present.
Susan C.Young
It is crucial to understand that there are myriad interpretations of behavior. When you subscribe only to yours, you may begin to think that everyone else is wrong and thus limit your flexibility and possibility. Developing cultural awareness will make your diverse relationships easier and more productive.
Susan C.Young
Prepare yourself well by learning how to be more mindful in each interaction. The effort you put forth to gain insight will empower you to make a better impression on others, while enriching your opportunities to build enlightened, trusted relationships.
Susan C.Young
Conversation starters. Icebreakers. Openers. However you choose to label them, that moment when the first words come out of your mouth can make or break the outcome of your entire conversation. Been there, done that, right?
Susan C.Young
Your first words will not only shape your first impression, they can create amazing connections, lead you to your dream job, or help you discover a new best friend—or accomplish exactly the opposite.
Susan C.Young
Your first words will outlive your conversations and impact how you are remembered, liked, or regarded. Wouldn’t you enjoy opening conversations with ease and mutual recognition? The challenging part is that it can be . . . awkward!
Susan C.Young
Meeting someone for the first time has significance, but for some people, the awkwardness can be so great that they avoid a conversation altogether. The person who may be shy, introverted, or afraid of sounding stupid may just choose to remain silent rather than take the risk of engaging in embarrassing dialogue.
Susan C.Young
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