Sports Quotes

Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball he can't hit that far.

This guy is such an obvious cheater that once when he had a hole in one he wrote down zero on his scorecard.

Anonymous

My golf is getting better all the time. Today I parred all but sixteen holes.

Golf is like a love affair: if you don't take it seriously it's no fun if you do take it seriously it breaks your heart.

I don't say my golf game is bad but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.

If people focused on life's really important matters there'd be a shortage of golf clubs.

Anonymous

I'm not playing with my brother-in-law today. Would you play with a man who improves his lie and cheats on his score? Well neither would he!

Anonymous

You've got just one problem. You stand too close to the ball - after you've hit it.

Sam Snead

I used to want to shoot my age. Now I would just like to shoot my temperature.

Jerry Feliciotto

What a terrible round. I only hit two good balls all day and that was when I stepped on a rake in a bunker.

Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

Stated to a running back after an overly exuberant display of celebration: Next time you make a touchdown act like you've been there before.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. Football players are not like Norman Einstein.

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

Your brain commands your body to "Run forward! Bend! Scoop up the ball! Peg it to the infield!" Then your body says "Who me?"

Baseball it is said is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes or games are created equal.

He spends so much time in the sand trap you'd think he was in the cast of Baywatcb.

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

Robert Benchley

When I see joggers go by I shout "Jim Fixx is dead. Fats Domino lives!"

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Counting both times I cheated this week I won at solitaire twice.

Mary Virginia Micka

You know you're getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

As a woman I resent the fact that in golf if I have the highest score I'm the loser.

He who has the fastest cart never has a bad lie.

Anonymous

My best score is 103 but I've only been playing for fifteen years.

It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better.

Anonymous

I play in the low eighties. If it's any hotter than that I won't play.

I asked my instructor how I could cut ten strokes off my score. He told me to quit on hole 17!

I get confused with all the rules in golf. Let's say you're playing in L.A. and your ball lands on a dead body. Is your relief one or two club lengths?

My golf has really improved even though my score hasn't. I'm missing the ball much closer now.

Gimme: An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Golf is not a matter of life or death. It is much more important than that.

player: Can I reach it with a five iron? caddie: Eventually.

Golf and sex: Two things you can really enjoy without being that good at them.

Anonymous

Golf is a good preoccupation but as the meaning of life ... it lacks a few things.

If you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.

Bob Hope

Our team was surprisingly consistent this year. We closed with a seven-seven record. We lost seven at home and seven on the road.

All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.

I want you all to line up in alphabetical order according to your size.

Slumps in life are like soft beds. They're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

They X-rayed my head and found nothing.

Opportunity to suspend disbelief is often why we watch movies. The stories and images touch us and shift perspectives in ways we may not allow in our daily lives. As readily as you check your “this isn’t real” attitude at the ticket counter – when transformers are defending earth against aliens and 21st century vampires frolic by daylight – on the big screen of your heart and mind train for, run and celebrate finishing your first marathon.

A writer is a spectator, looking at everything with a highly critical eye.

Bernard Malamud

Baseball has so much history and tradition. You can respect it, or you can exploit it for profit, but it's still being made all over the place, all the time.

Baseball is a soap opera that lends itself to probabilistic thinking. [Dick Cramer]

With sports, you have no time to reflect. You just do.

Terri Giuliano Long

It's considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

While sports are indisputably a positive source of strength and self-development for girls, they can accomplish this only if the environment in which female athletes throw their javelins, kick their soccer balls, and swim their fast and furious laps is an environment that respects girls and takes them seriously as athletes.

Is it or is it not a matter of importance that a young man starts out in life with an ability to shut his jaw hard and say "I will," or "I will not," and mean it?

John William Heisman

I was awarded 'Most Aggressive Rider of the Day', generally given to the most spectacular loser of the day.

Every sport pretends to be literature. . .

Look, girls. It is important to all of us that we win this game, right? Well, when it comes to athletics, boys are simply better suited than girls. It’s a fact of nature that no one can change. I’m sorry, but maybe you can play next time when it’s less crucial.

Francine Pascal

One group of riders doped, the others alongside them racing clean. You can work out for yourselves which group was fastest.

I had grown used to getting a pat on the back and being told after a good result: 'Well done, David - you should be happy, you're the first clean rider.

The reporter asked, "why did you play so hard.""Because there might have been somebody in the stands today who'd never seen my play before, and might never see me again"-Joe DiMaggio

Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters.

Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports, but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty. The relation is roughly that of courage to war.The human beauty we're talking about here is beauty of a particular type; it might be called kinetic beauty. Its power and appeal are universal. It has nothing to do with sex or cultural norms. What it seems to have to do with, really, is human beings' reconciliation with the fact of having a body.

David Foster Wallace

Sport, properly directed, develops character, makes a person courageous, a generous loser, and a gracious victor; it refines the senses, gives intellectual penetration, and steels the will to endurance. It is not merely a physical development then. Sport, rightly understood, is an occupation of the whole person, and while perfecting the body as an instrument of the mind, it also makes the mind itself a more refined instrument for the search and communication of truth….

1 2 3 … 10 Next