Sarcasm Quotes - Page 8

I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said the last word.“That! That is what I am talking about. Since we ran into the others you have been cold and more arrogant than usual.” She kept her voice low so the others would not hear.“Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant

B.C. Morin

Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

Carrie Harris

I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated.

Melina Marchetta

people don't generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something

Mary Elizabeth Summer

To my astonishment I saw him standing at a table with Kitty Jones. It was the Kitty Jones bit that was astonishing. Not the table. Though it was very nicely polished.

Jonathan Stroud

Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the Guardians' citadel, it looked like a pretty plum assignment. I mean, how much trouble could a girl get into under heavy guard in a tower room? Notice I didn't ask that question out loud. No need to rub Fate's nose in something when I'd been tempting her enough lately.Phaelan had generously his guard services as well, just in case something happened to me that my Guardian bodyguards couldn't handle. Phaelan's guard-on-duty stance resembled his pirate-on-shore-leave stane of leaning back in a chair with his feet up, but instead of a tavern table, his boots were doing a fine job of holding down the windowsill. I don't know how I'd ever felt safe without him.

Lisa Shearin

Who the hell calls at two in the morning?""Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says."Very funny,

Lauren Oliver

You can't drive them around in the getaway van.' 'How about we don't call it the getaway van? People might get suspicious.' 'So what should we call it?' 'How about the van?' 'It doesn't change what it is and that it's a shitty thing to do. Someone might see them in it.

Cath Crowley

You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?''Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to have to explain that one for a lot longer.

Jasper Fforde

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all.

Joe Hill

Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn't make them real

Mary Elizabeth Summer

I've heard that sarcasm is no substitute for cleverness

Meredith Duran

Your cell phone is on the nightstand. Call me immediately if something changes. I don’t care if you are merely dizzy or if you start seeing pink dragons, do you understand?” I solemnly swear I will call you the second a pink dragon shows up.

Jessica Fortunato

Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk.“Brennus.”“Alessa.”“Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?”“Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair.

B.C. Morin

You’d really give up your big, swanky apartment?”“If you don’t want to move in there with me, yes.”“But you love your apartment.”“I love you more, dumb ass.

Suzanne Wright

Don't sound so grumpy. Next thing you know you'll be whinning and giving me puppy dog eyes.

Dana Marie Bell

Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality witticism? There are boy bands with more original material.

John Green

Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you doall the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is.

Luke Romyn

Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.

Derek Landy

When Rose takes to screaming, she starts loud, continues loud, and ends loud. Rose has a very good ear and always screams on the same note. I'd tested her before I burnt the library, and our piano along with it.Rose screams on the note B flat.We don't need a piano anymore now that we have a human tuning fork.

Franny Billingsley

Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me there. Bring with you a jemmy, a dark lantern, a chisel, and a revolver. S. H." It was a nice equipment for a respectable citizen to carry through the dim, fog-draped streets.

Arthur Conan Doyle

If only there was enough space on this tiny card to evoke my unfettered joie de vivre for what you have done. The gaiety, the mirth, the heavenly bubbling of every effusive cell that sings inside me for your kind and pithy offering.

Joshua Braff

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it.

K. Syrah

And I know I'm sarcastic and defensive and I make a joke out of everything and am highly resistant to anything that reeks of sentimental corniness, but I'm giving you my heart anyway because being with you feels like home, and I know you won't break it.

Shauna Cross

Since you stand in the same bridge with him why don't you two just jump off.

Sitta Karina

Caro: "Bite me."Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten.

Kristin Hannah

Kaitlyn froze and then said in a low tone, "That'd better be your gun." "Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off."[Landon]

Patrice Michelle

Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!

George Carlin

Right. I can tell from the bat wings and the leeches that you three are just all happy-smiles and rainbows.

Greg Farshtey

You don't have to make fun of it.""Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything.

Jim Butcher

...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.

Mercedes Lackey

...Peabody had better retire to her bed; she is clearly in need of recuperative sleep, she has not made a sarcastic remark for fully ten minutes.

Elizabeth Peters

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s.

Val McDermid

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

Mark Twain

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.

Daniel O'Malley

His voice, the very sound of rolling eyes.

Thomas Mullen

Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of … piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she’s ripe?

Tessa Dare

... We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles." "That's not precisely true, is it?" said a velvety voice. It was Magnus Bane, wearing a long and glittering coat, multiple hoops in his ears, and a roguish expression. Clary had no idea where he'd come from. "You lot have used the help of warlocks on more than one occasion in the past, and paid handsomely for it too." Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down.

Cassandra Clare

I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.

Maureen Johnson

... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.

Cassandra Clare

I thought you were a drunk.""A drunk?""Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot ofnoise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?"He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in asuit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead.

Linda Howard

Ivypool felt her mouth drop open "Hollyleaf? But...you you're dead!" "Obviously not," the newcomer replied with an edge to her voice.

Erin Hunter

What - what - what are you doing?" he demanded."I am almost six hundred years old," Magnus claimed, and Ragnor snorted, since Magnus changed his age to suit himself every few weeks. Magnus swept on. "It does seem about time to learn a musical instrument." He flourished his new prize, a little stringed instrument that looked like a cousin of the lute that the lute was embarrassed to be related to. "It's called a charango. I am planning to become a charanguista!""I wouldn't call that an instrument of music," Ragnor observed sourly. "An instrument of torture, perhaps."Magnus cradled the charango in his arms as if it were an easily offended baby. "It's a beautiful and very unique instrument! The sound box is made from an armadillo. Well, a dried armadillo shell.""That explains the sound you're making," said Ragnor. "Like a lost, hungry armadillo.""You are just jealous," Magnus remarked calmly. "Because you do not have the soul of a true artiste like myself.""Oh, I am positively green with envy," Ragnor snapped."Come now, Ragnor. That's not fair," said Magnus. "You know I love it when you make jokes about your complexion."Magnus refused to be affected by Ragnor's cruel judgments. He regarded his fellow warlock with a lofty stare of superb indifference, raised his charango, and began to play again his defiant, beautiful tune.They both heard the staccato thump of frantically running feet from within the house, the swish of skirts, and then Catarina came rushing out into the courtyard. Her white hair was falling loose about her shoulders, and her face was the picture of alarm."Magnus, Ragnor, I heard a cat making a most unearthly noise," she exclaimed. "From the sound of it, the poor creature must be direly sick. You have to help me find it!"Ragnor immediately collapsed with hysterical laughter on his windowsill. Magnus stared at Catarina for a moment, until he saw her lips twitch."You are conspiring against me and my art," he declared. "You are a pack of conspirators."He began to play again. Catarina stopped him by putting a hand on his arm."No, but seriously, Magnus," she said. "That noise is appalling."Magnus sighed. "Every warlock's a critic.""Why are you doing this?""I have already explained myself to Ragnor. I wish to become proficient with a musical instrument. I have decided to devote myself to the art of the charanguista, and I wish to hear no more petty objections.""If we are all making lists of things we wish to hear no more . . . ," Ragnor murmured.Catarina, however, was smiling."I see," she said."Madam, you do not see.""I do. I see it all most clearly," Catarina assured him. "What is her name?""I resent your implication," Magnus said. "There is no woman in the case. I am married to my music!""Oh, all right," Catarina said. "What's his name, then?"His name was Imasu Morales, and he was gorgeous.

Cassandra Clare

It's Thursday afternoon, and we have sports. These are the choices for the girls: watching an invitational cricket game; studying in one of the classrooms; or watching the senior rugby league. As you can imagine, I'm torn.

Melina Marchetta

I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me.

Tamora Pierce

And here I was thinking you were a bit slow, what with so much asking and not knowing anything.

Carlos Ruiz Zafón

My mind reels with sarcastic replies!

Charles M. Schulz

If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space.

Jennifer Crusie

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.

Bret Easton Ellis

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.

Jonathan Stroud

If you wish, I shall go personally to your City and knock together the heads of Perlith and Galooney.

Robin McKinley

That's great," Katie said. "Actually, it's revolutionary. If you can work and be in love at the same time, you're the first woman I ever knew that could. Maybe you're the missing link, Amanda."Maybe you ought to get a job for the 'Ladies Home Journal.' They like simplistic shit like that.

Ellen Gilchrist

Independence is earned by a few words of cheap confidence

Albert Camus

How can she create with all your negative energy?""Yeah, man. You're bringing us down.""This is about as low as it gets," Ariel said. "Where did you get those ridiculous black berets?"Moth adjusted his recently donned beatnik attire. "This is what the hip cats wear , daddy-o.""Can you dig it?" Cobweb stroked a few wisps of fake chin hair, while the others nodded and snapped their fingers.

Lisa Mantchev

Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore."Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek.

Jim Butcher

Nobody liked my plan."You want us to split up?" Chase asked, his brow wrinkling in obvious bewilderment.Lake echoed the sentiment, her voice flat. "Why would we split up? There's four of us and one of him." After a brief moment's pause, she amended her head count to better reflect the real odds. "Three and a half of us, one of him."Three and a half, as in three werewolves, one human. I narrowed my eyes. "For your sake, Lake, I'm going to pretend that Devon is the half."Dev, unquestionably the strongest person in the room, just shrugged and let me keep my delusions. "It's because of my petite stature," he said. All 6'4" of him.

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Where did you live before you came here?" I asked. "The moon," he said smoothly. "We left because the place had no atmosphere.

Laurie Halse Anderson

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot. "Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note.

Cassandra Clare

Minho snickered and leaned back in his chair. “Man, you are one butt-load of sunshine, let me tell you.

James Dashner

You know, Gilan, sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It's not even wit at all.

John Flanagan

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 9 10 … 15 Next

Sarcasm Quotes - Page 8

Related Topics