Sarcasm Quotes - Page 7

Wes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found. '...and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook. 'And I found these shoes--" 'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so.

Brandi Salazar

Yeah, I was just curious. I concentrated on my footsteps.Yeah, well, next time you think about stepping into rock concerts you might want to bring a bodyguard.I stopped and turned around. I brought my hands to my hips, a bit offended. What is that supposed to mean?He dropped the end of the bat into the sand. It means your small.

Holly Hood

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce.

Alicia Thompson

Oh, poor, poor fellow!' said Mrs. Elliot with a remorse that was sincere, though her congratulations would not have been.

E.M. Forster

You will never find me in trouble. You will find me in the library. If you can remember where that is.

Sarah Rees Brennan

Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!

Douglas Coupland

If then, Moses so distinctly announces that there is in us not only a faculty, but also a facility for keeping all commandments, why are we sweating so much? ... What need is there now of Christ or of Spirit? We have found a passage that asserts freedom of choice, but also distinctly teaches that the keeping of the commandments is easy.

Martin Luther

A demigod?” I repeated like I’d just learned to speak a few seconds ago. “A real, live demigod?”“Opposed to a fake, dead one?” He chuckled, proud of himself, and then sighed when my eyes narrowed on him. “You used to have a sense of humor, Seth.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

I can give you two words," I tell him. "The second is off. Can you guess the first?

Darren Shan

Everyone has bad days...'my Dear MIDDLE FINGER, Thanks for sticking up for me!

Napz Cherub Pellazo

Poetry is a disease vector. Like malaria.

Katie Douglas

I'll only go if there's cake.~Tobias "Four

Veronica Roth

Sarcasm is the new staircase to stardom.

Ahmed Mostafa

And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.-Haymitch Abernathy

Suzanne Collins

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow

Lilith Saintcrow

He checked his parachute and launched himself into the Sea of Sarcasm.--Havana Red

Leonardo Padura

When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.

Timothy Pina

Marion: What is all this? What's going on?Clint: The same thing that's always going on. The end of the world.

Rachel Pollack

So the I.F. is spying on Earth.""Just as a mother spies on her children at play in the yard.""Good to know you're looking out for us, Mummy.

Orson Scott Card

Sophie coughed, and Oliver felt his cheeks becoming warm. “Don’t be an ass, Andrew.” “That’s a little bit difficult to accomplish, y’know?” Andrew replied. “I mean, if you had been so kind as to paint me with black and white stripes, I would’ve been a zebra!

Zeinab Alayan

Well, what do you want me to do? Head butt my way through a few inches of steel?!” she snarled.“Well, that would certainly earn you a cookie!

S.L.J. Shortt

(One character on another:)"Don't you know that I passionately dote on every chin on his face?

Dorothy L. Sayers

I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I'm definately an outsider. Hooray.

Evan Kuhlman

If you turned your back on irony, it curdled into sarcasm. And what good was it then? Sarcasm was irony which had lost its soul.

Julian Barnes

Entertaining females with accounts of jug-bitten maunderings is one of my favourite pastimes.

Georgette Heyer

Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?

Kresley Cole

Twenty-three stories up and all I could see out the windows was grey smog. They could call it the City of the Angels if they wanted to, but if there were angels out there, they had to be flying blind.

Laurell K. Hamilton

his mind's like Alcatraz. once something's in, it never gets out

Mary Elizabeth Summer

Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster

Shawn Durnin

The standard clauses of the American dream only included two weeks of vacation a year.

Jeff Deck

Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness?Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there.

Stefne Miller

Miss Prendregast!” He rapped on his desk with his knuckles. “You were never in any danger!”“Except from the wild animals.”His lids swept down as if he needed a reprieve from looking at her. “Alert me if you’re attacked by a rabbit.

Christina Dodd

As soon as they were spotted, one of the jerk’s buddies pointed at me and said, “Arrest her! She’s the one who killed Z

Bella Shadow

And your neihjbour is sitting next door weeping as she watches her child facing a crowd of Palestiniankids armed with rocks which could take your boy's eye out or give him brain damage if god forbids he took off his helmet one of those dusty stones hit him in the head

Linda Grant

Okay, can you pass yourself off as a magician and gain Gerald's trust and pass us information about Celeste's plans and save all the magicians who want to be saved? Jaime asked. "Because if so awesome. I shall stay here and eat pie.

Sarah Rees Brennan

The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!''He's even more charming at home,' Mom said. 'Isn't he, Bea? He rides a unicycle through the house -''- even up and down the stairs,' I added.'He juggles eggs as he makes breakfast every morning -''- which he serves to us in bed of course,' I said.'- and pulls fragrant bouquets out of his ass,' Mom finished.'He's just a joy.

Natalie Standiford

Ready?" Jaime echoed. "Yes, yes, I am ready. I am ready to drink a lot of liquids and lie on the sofa moaning faintly all day long. That is what I am ready for. I cannot engage in physical activity of any sort or my head will fall right off. Is that what you want Nick? Because if so, I find that hurtful.

Sarah Rees Brennan

And what are your interests and hobbies, Nicholas?" Annabel asked faintly, sounding like a cross between a television interviewer and a hostage. Nick considered this for a minute, and then said "I like swords." Annabel leaned over her plate and asked, her voice changing "You fence?" "Not exactly," Nick drawled. "I'm more freestyle.

Sarah Rees Brennan

And you are going to get her far away from here. Keep her hidden.” She planted her hands on her hips. “And here we were just keeping her holed up in a tiny little house in a completely random mining sector. Why didn’t it ever occur to us to try and keep her hidden?” Kinney’s face was unreadable for a long moment before he asked, “You understand sarcasm?” “Of course I understand sarcasm,” she spat. “It’s not like it’s theoretical physics, is it?” The guard’s jaw worked for a moment, before he shook his head and turned away.

Marissa Meyer

Hi, I'm Dick," I said."Yeah, I've heard that about you.

Mindi Scott

Well, how do we get out of this place?” Evyette’s voice shaking slightly.“We can’t.” If Kaleb felt any hopelessness he wasn’t conveying it. He looked around arduously, “Unless we find someone willing to help us.”“Oh well, that should not be a problem at all,” Tristan retorted throwing his hands up, “considering everything so far has tried to kill us!

B.C. Morin

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it),...

Stephen King

That was Hunter,' said Quinn as his father's footsteps faded away.'I figured. Since he said to call him Hunter and everything.

Jennifer Sturman

I couldn't hack it in Hollywood, my writing's wasn't bad enough.

Russ Lippitt

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries.

Robert Anton Wilson

I'd tell you nice try, but... it wasn't.

Cynder

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenal's moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own

Nick Hornby

Desjani pulled out a ration bar. 'Hungry?' she asked Geary.'I had something earlier. Is that a Yanika Babiya?''No. It’s . . .' She squinted at the label. 'Spicy chicken curry.''A chicken curry ration bar? How are they?'Taking a small bite, Desjani chewed slowly, pretending not to be aware that everyone on the bridge was watching her instead of staring at the representation of the alien hypernet gate. 'It’s definitely got curry in it. Spicy, not so much. Some of the other stuff tastes like chicken.''That doesn’t narrow it down too much, does it?' Geary said.'Every kind of meat in a ration bar tastes like chicken, Captain,' Lieutenant Castries suggested. 'Except the chicken.''You’re right, Lieutenant,' Desjani said. 'Real chicken in ration bars tastes like, what, mutton?''Ham,' Yuon tossed in. 'Bad ham.''So this can’t be chicken because it tastes like chicken,' Desjani concluded.

Jack Campbell

Oh no, Nick" Jaime said in tones of supremely unconvincing shock, "how could you? When my back was turned for one momement. And my food was so delicious.

Sarah Rees Brennan

What's next? You want to convince me they're making another crap Last Airbender movie?

Cassandra Clare

She's my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I'm mentally calculating all the ways I could silence her. I'm bigger than her... I wonder if I could use my straw for some sort of MacGyver inspired weapon.

Steph Campbell

Great,' I said. 'Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.

Steven Gould

I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back in a day.

Sarah Orne Jewett

At one time, the treatment for a certain kind of psychosis had been to push an ice pick up through the orbit of the eye, into the frontal lobe; the ice pick was then stirred around until it reduced the problematic brain tissue to non-functioning porridge.

Alastair Reynolds

Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.

Dan Abnett

I'm working from the assumption it's going to go horribly wrong. If we get out of here with limbs intact and no aspen slivers in uncomfortable places, we're calling it a win."Merit/Jonah

Chloe Neill

If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.

Bryant McGill

Hello?” I peered into the shadows.Two green circles flashed in the dark. I yelped, jumping backward and pressing myself against the wall.“And may I wish a very good morning to you, too, October.” The voice was amused, underscored by a chuckle like thick cream. “What happened? Did the prettiest little princess miss her carriage home?

Seanan McGuire

What I really needed wasn't a dose of school spirit; it was a glass of water, an aspirin the size of my fist, and the answers to the history exam that I hadn't studied for the night before. "As long as I'm dreaming," I muttered, my words lost to the cacophony of the gym, "I'd also like a pony, a convertible, and a couple of fri

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

He paused at the bedroom door, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked right out like it was any other morning, and he and Jack would be having breakfast as if they hadn't had sex the night before."Morning," he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder."Mmm," D grunted."You done in the bath

Jane Seville

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Sarcasm Quotes - Page 7

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