Sarcasm Quotes - Page 5

An accessible introduction to the nature of political thought. Just what I always wanted.

I’m fine, considering I can’t walk anymore,” Pam replied, a sarcastic edge in her voice. “You look like your bringing news. What is it this time, I’m blind?

C.B. Cook

I—though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment—was my usual dignified self.

Jonathan Stroud

I don’t know. Is that good-different, or I-should-come-with-a-warning-label-different?

Melissa A. Craven

In my youth, I was always one for the dramatic entrance. Now, in keeping with my character, I gravitate more toward the subtle and refined. Okay, with the occasional feathered serpent thrown in.

Jonathan Stroud

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting.""Because of my dimples. Dimples are a get-out-of-jail-free card

Dean Koontz

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Abraham Lincoln

He shook his head,'Fuck, you say such fucking weird things.''Is that still your favourite word?' asked Isola interestedly, 'I like "verisimilitude". Tolkein said the most beautiful English phrase is "cellar door",

Allyse Near

Ryn looks sideways at me and raises an eyebrow,"It's big enough for two."-"You're joking right?Why don't you pretend to be a gentleman and give me the

Rachel Morgan

Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.

Tahereh Mafi

What am I going to do?" asked Ce'Nedra."First you ought to go wash your face," Polgara told her. "Some girls can cry without making themselves ugly, but you don't have the right coloring for it. You're an absolute fright. I'd advise you never to cry in public if you can help it.

David Eddings

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW

Karen Gibbs

Two thousand years and I’ve never met anyone so stubborn.

Melissa A. Craven

Named Harris," Bill said. "Ever know him, Mike? He was in the war, too.""Fortunate fellow," Mike said. "What times we had. How I wish those dear days were back.

Ernest Hemingway

He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little while longer. But it better be careful and not interfere with his private life. If it does, he's apt to make a phone call to God and cancel the order.

Raymond Chandler

Sorry if this little war’s inconvenienced you in any way,” Indris drawled. “I’ll try to schedule the next one with you in mind

Mark T. Barnes

It's not something a kid like you should've gotten ahold of.

Shinjirou

This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political debate.

Veronica Roth

Nothing like a little shared racism to build ties with the boss.

James S.A. Corey

Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get Killed lessons.

Mercedes Lackey

Could you please stop dripping your sarcasm all over my car’s interior?

Robin Benway

What? Who are you marrying?”His jaw tightened.“Princess Cleiona Bellos.”Lucia could not believe her ears. “This has been arranged.”Magnus gave her a look.“Oh, not at all. Since helping to take her father's kingdom and destroy her life,I couldn’t help but fall madly in love with her. Yes,obviously it was arranged.

Morgan Rhodes

Don’t worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I’m here to protect you.”“Great, I can hide behind your massive ego.

Cassandra Clare

Yeah,” Tamara said. “An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could Aaron be there? And don’t say something like ‘working on his score’ or ‘maybe he’s in a bowling league’ or something like that. Be serious.”Call leaned against the rough bark of a nearby tree and resisted the urge to sit down. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get up again. “I’m serious. It might be hard to tell in the dark, but I have my most super-serious face on.

Cassandra Clare

Dearest Jessamin,I have not had a letter from you in a month. (You are a terrible daughter.) I blame the slowness of the boats and hate the distance between us. (How could you leave me?)Your cousin Jacabo responded to my inquiries after your well-being with only the vaguest of terms. (I threatened Jacky Boy if he did not update me on your life.) I take this to mean you have seen him regularly and have also forbidden him from updating me on your life in the big city. (Why are you spending your time with him when he is clearly not running in the right circles?)How are your studies? Have you met anyone interesting? (Why have you not given me news of your father?)I suspect you do not write because you have found someone. (Please, please tell me you have found someone.) I know it. (I beg the spirits for it each night.) A mother can feel these things. (I will drag you back to the island and force you into marriage if you do not take care of it yourself.) Please tell me whether he is of a good family and when I can expect happy tidings to share with my friends. (Do not do anything I cannot crow about to the neighbors.) I knew you would not be on your own for long. (Give me grandchildren. Soon.) Dear Henry has asked after you, though, so if you are lonely you know you have many options here. (I pestered Henry until he finally asked after you and took it as a sign he still wishes to marry you.)Write me soon or I will perish for want of daughterly affection. (You are a terrible daughter.)All my love, (All my love,)Mama

Kiersten White

Yes!" Belen raises his fist in a victory gesture. "We shall save the world from Invierne with slings!

Rae Carson

I’ve been surrounded by nitwits my entire life.

Chelsea Ballinger

He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader.

George Eliot

Doesn't this place give you the creeps? You could perhaps do something with some floral wallpaper and a fire-bomb.

Terry Pratchett

Forty dollars for one adult nonrefundable ticket. You’re in luck — your bus leaves in a half hour. But there’s no dogs, unless that’s a service animal.”“Oh, yeah,” Call said, with a quick look down at Havoc. “He’s totally a service dog. He was in the service — the navy, actually.”The woman’s eyebrows went up.“He saved a man,” Call said, trying out the story as he counted the cash and pushed it through the slot. “From drowning. And sharks. Well, just the one shark, but it was a pretty big one. He’s got a medal and everything.

Cassandra Clare

I don’t believe this. This is utter shit!” I yelled.“Does it look like I’m lying?” Steven asked.I rolled my eyes at his incredibly stupid question, “I don’t know. Let me look at you with my x-ray vision to see through this stupid blindfold and I’ll get back to you.

Sara Massa

What’s it like? Ballet school?”“Harsh,” he said. “Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly.

Cassandra Clare

What's going on?" I asked when he finished."I'll let you know soon. For now, we have to wait.""Great. My favorite thing to do.

Richelle Mead

It's better to shut a fool's mouth with sarcasm rather than cursing him back.

Anind Mathur

There was a silence. Elliot was surprised, because he would have thought the sound of every atom in his body exploding with indignation might make some noise.

Sarah Rees Brennan

For appearances. Now there's a lovely thing to die for.

Gerald Morris

Think people really want to know what's out there?""Probably not. People don't know what they want, Evelyn, or life wouldn't suck

Lizzy Ford

Puppies are cute. I'm fierce!""Yeah!" Evelyn snorted. "Romas says you're as fierce as a kitten.""A kitten?" Kiera's tone grew more hurt. "I'm not afraid of him, just because he's twelve feet tall and can bench press me with his toes. It's not nice of him to say that

Lizzy Ford

The 'incredible frog hotel'—really a local bed and breakfast—...the frogs stay (in their tanks) in a block of rented rooms.

Elizabeth Kolbert

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’Yes, sir.’‘We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value

Terry Pratchett

Whoosh! went the bluebird of sarcasm, zooming miles above Dale’s head.

Sarah Rees Brennan

It'll make you look rugged,' Mel says.'Because I woke up this morning,' I say, 'and the one thing I realized I lacked was ruggedness.

Patrick Ness

I wish you'd stop desperately trying to get my attention like this," he said. "It's become embarrassing.""Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt," she told him."I can't help it. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

Cassandra Clare

True cynics kill themselves. The rest are posers, trying to use clever sarcasm and snarky remarks to hide insecurity and the fear that if they put themselves out there, they will fail.

Jewel

Yeah," Chris said. "I lose a couple limbs getting drunk and falling into harvesting combine, I'm an idiot. I lose the same limbs because I happened to be standing next to the right door when the ship was damaged, I'm a hero.

James S.A. Corey

Social media has turned all of us into Dogs. The moment a single dog is unhappy with something, it starts barking, and then hundreds of others join the barking immediately. We no longer use our brains, we just join the chorus.

EverSkeptic

Great. Relationship advice from one of America's most wanted.

Leslea Wahl

I've interrupted a party. Is it in celebration of the peace or in honor of the next war?

Winston Graham

The sarcastic little know-it-all needs help, does he?

John Flanagan

Richard looked up to find a thirty-ish, tall, black haired man sauntering towards him with a smile that said “You can trust me”, but really meant “Don’t believe a word I say”. This was Jack, and he hadn’t changed a bit.

Alexander Ferrick

Ove looks at the group assembled around him, as if he's been kidnapped and taken to a parallel universe. For a moment he thinks about swerving off the road, until he realises that the worst case scenario would be that they all accompanied him into the afterlife.

Fredrik Backman

Sir Mark Turner," he said. "I speak with the tongues of a thousand angels. Butterflies follow me wherever I go. Birds sing when I take a breath.

Courtney Milan

I'm so well-rounded I'm almost spherical.

Brian Katcher

Run everything on a generator,” Haskel said. “Got to keep it a certain temperature for the stuff I carry. Not too cold. Not too hot. There’s shit in here, weather got wrong, it’d go off and blow our asses all the way to Mineola. Maybe out in the goddamned Gulf.”“I don’t like to travel that far unless I got plane tickets and a steward in my lap,” Leonard said.Haskel cut an eye toward Leonard. “You mean stewardess, don’t you?”“I don’t think so,” Leonard said, and let Haskel churn that one over.

Joe R. Lansdale

How's Alison getting on?'Conway snorted. 'Tucked up in the sick room like she's dying in some season finale. Little fadey voice on her and all. She's having a great old time.

Tana French

Now, to be sure, Mrs Varden thought, here is a perfect character. Here is a meek, righteous, thoroughgoing Christian, who, having mastered all these qualities, so difficult of attainment; who, having dropped a pinch of salt on the tails of all the cardinal virtues, and caught them everyone; makes light of their possession, and pants for more morality. For the good woman never doubted (as many good men and women never do), that this slighting kind of profession, this setting so little store by great matters, this seeming to say, ‘I am not proud, I am what you hear, but I consider myself no better than other people; let us change the subject, pray’—was perfectly genuine and true. He so contrived it, and said it in that way that it appeared to have been forced from him, and its effect was marvellous.Aware of the impression he had made—few men were quicker than he at such discoveries—Mr Chester followed up the blow by propounding certain virtuous maxims, somewhat vague and general in their nature, doubtless, and occasionally partaking of the character of truisms, worn a little out at elbow, but delivered in so charming a voice and with such uncommon serenity and peace of mind, that they answered as well as the best. Nor is this to be wondered at; for as hollow vessels produce a far more musical sound in falling than those which are substantial, so it will oftentimes be found that sentiments which have nothing in them make the loudest ringing in the world, and are the most relished.

Charles Dickens

Television is a dirty business. To survive in it you have to be part weasel, part python, and part wolf. To succeed in it, you have to be 99.9 percent great white shark. The capacity for barefaced lying also comes in handy, particularly if you are freelance.

Matt Dickinson

Shit will always be Shit! No amount of perfume can make it stink less

Tahira Abrar

if the opponent praises you … you will not believe, you will take it as sarcasm. And, if the opponent curses you and criticizes you, you will not only believe it, you will take it as if he had made a declaration over a notarized stamped paper. So granted and guaranteed.

Girdhar Joshi

I think you people are just marvelous,” she said in a dramatic manner, closing her eyes for a moment. “You know, sometimes I hear the Great Spirit calling to me. Perhaps I was a squaw in my last life. My family would never talk about it when I was growing up, but I’m pretty sure my great-grandmother was a real Cherokee princess. Are you Cherokee, by any chance?”“Cherokee to the bone, ma’am,” Luther replied, giving Jimmy a wink.“Oh, I knew it when I laid eyes on you,” she responded and turned to Jimmy. “Are you also Cherokee?”“No, ma’am. I wanted to be but I didn’t have the grades to get in.”“Oh, you poor dear,” the woman said, reaching over to pat him on the arm.

Robert Owings

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Sarcasm Quotes - Page 5

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