Sarcasm Quotes - Page 4

Yes", she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's exactly what I'm saying, in fact let's try sex again." She leaped to her feet and torn open her jeans. "Maybe my magic vagina will cure you of all the traumatic acts my family has inflected on you.

Larissa Ione

Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.

Derek Landy

If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.

Katie Graykowski

Can I ask who you are, sir?""Yeah, I expect so," said Strike, walking past him and ringing the doorbell. Anstis's dinner invitation notwithstanding, he was not feeling sympathetic to the police just now. "Should be just about within your capabilities.

Robert Galbraith

worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.

George R.R. Martin

I once saw you in a tuxedo and all I wanted to do is eat.

Pushpa Rana

In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but somehow deduced that he had a watch in his pyjama pocket, took it out, put back the hands blindly and gave it the requisite dent.

Agatha Christie

I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?

Melanie Marchande

I have to crack a nut in order to enjoy it.

Donna Lynn Hope

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but any organization that claims you for a member doesn’t get to call itself sinister, whether you’re left-handed or not. I would be insulted to be offered membership in such a namby-pamby organization. It would be like the Archbishop of Canterbury calling a select club of his compatriots ‘Bad, Bad Bishops’.”Marshall sniggered.“Watch out for the clergy,” Edward said. “They’re absolutely wild. Sometimes they have an extra biscuit at tea.

Courtney Milan

Pretending will only make us anxious and encourages us to make friends with a reason, then depending with lies, thereafter we will make love with stupidity

ikke achmad

don't play role in Drama that i well know about the content of script. i can count your steps after this. don't forget who's the director!

ikke achmad

Why should repeat 2-3 for the same question. Let tongue and brain connect before talking.I'm not sarcastic, I'm just brutally honest !

ikke achmad

Wouldn’t you like to know,” I smiled. “I travel. Shit happens.

Alyse M. Gardner

Whatever you are, do not even assume that you will be surrounded and gnawed by luxurious worms of an exquisite breed.

Alexander Zalan

I also don't turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood's portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman.

Kerry Allen

Cordelia glared at me. 'I expect if someone strapped you to table an swung an axe over your naked quivering flesh like The Pit and the Pendulum, you'd be correcting his grammar'.

Victoria Clayton

Going to the gym at this odd hour didn't 'work out' for me.

Abheek Kakkar

Resilience, thy name is Devine.

Lori Lansens

I get my share of mud flung my way, but the secret is to dance in the rain and the mud will wash away.

Philip Catshill

Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it tobe one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughingbut the forces that be—given that they are even a wee bit human.

Lori Goldson

I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.

Alexander Zalan

That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed.

George R.R. Martin

My other hand?' Lopen said. 'The one that was cut off long ago, eaten by a fearsome beast? It is making a rude gesture toward you right now. I thought you would want to know, so you can prepare to be insulted.

Brandon Sanderson

Well, OK then." He narrowed his eyes. "How about you? Do you have any...romances I should know about?""Nope. Not one.""Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun."She smiled. "I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me.

Derek Landy

Of course. I died today, and now I'm going to fight aliens with a light saber. Maybe after that we can look for mermaids. Or unicorns.""No," he says. "Just aliens."Was that the barest hint of humour in his tone?

Eve Silver

Normally ghosts didn't scare him. (Assuming, of course, Gaea hadn't encased them in shells of stone and turned them into killing machines. That had been a new one for him.)

Rick Riordan

My whole day has been a unicorn ride through a field of rainbows

Natalie D. Richards

I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it."I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good."Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make.""Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation.

Derek Landy

Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.

David C. Holley

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical.

Douglas Adams

Mary,' said her mother. 'We don't like sarcasm ' 'You mightn't like it,' said Mary. 'But I love it.

Roddy Doyle

Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial and chest piercings. I am very fortunate to have just been schooled by someone who looks like they graduated from Care Bear Carnage University.

Heather Chapple

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” - Laney

Joann I. Martin Sowles

How’s your first week so far?” Isabele asks.“Well, let me see,” I begin. “Chloe says my penmanship is shit, and I was only thirty minutes early this morning, which apparently means I’m late, but on the bright side, she thinks her non-fat, half-sweet, no-whip soy latte didn’t taste right and then she told me she’s not paying for it. Other than that, work is just fine.

Maria Malonzo

While you were out JUDGING others, you left your closet door open...and guess what fell out!....Ooops

Karen Gibbs

I am not being overly harsh. Overtly hostile, yes, but exactly the right amount of harsh.

Jennifer Harrison

MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?""Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work.

Laura Oliva

Sorry, one night stands don't stack up as credentials for tending bar.

Katherine McIntyre

Whatever crimes this man had committed, they weren't as egregious as his inflated self-image.

Katherine McIntyre

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty of half full. Just drink it while everyone is arguing about it and be thankful you had a glass with something in it!

Karen Gibbs

You really want my honest opinion?” I ask.tAnton gestures for me to go on. “Please, this is why I hired you, devochka.”tI detect a little hint of sarcasm, but I go ahead and say, “I hate restaurants like this.”t“Why?” He seems genuinely curious to know why.t“Because—because they’re expensive.”t“What is the problem? I’m paying for everything.”tI shake my head. “It’s not that—you see,” I lower my voice, “ this is where famous people eat.”t“Famous?” Anton pretends to look around. “Where?”t“I think that’s the guy from that prank show. And there’s that guy from those vampire movies. And Maya Findlay.”t“Yeah? I don’t know who they are.”t“Really?” I ask dubiously.t“I’m not into the famous people thing too.”t“Really.”t“Yes.”t“Which is why you only date models who want to become actresses.” I notice him giving me a look. “Sorry,” I say sheepishly.

Maria Malonzo

Was he hitting some type of werewolf midlife crisis? First, he'd left Wolf Town, and now he was envisioning a mate. What next? Bird watching? Board games? Retirement homes?

Rose Wynters

All My Bitches Are Mad At Me Right Now.

Brad Pitt

Valkyrie smiled patiently. "I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

Derek Landy

The rich and large corporations get richer, the CEOs earn huge compensation packages, and when things get bad, don't worry; Uncle Sam and the American taxpayers are here to bail you out. But when you are in trouble, well, we just can't afford to help you, if you are in the working class or middle class of this country.

Bernie Sanders

Wow," she said. "It's like you're teaching me something and being all wise.""You are not easy to get along with," Skulduggery said.

Derek Landy

I am quite scandalous, you see. I come packaged with unpredictable moments, brutal honesty, calamitous outbursts, the ghastly need for love, a fiendish lack of filter, the horrific need to question everything, nauseating affection, offensive kindness, indecent spirituality, obscene beauty, monstrous creativity, barbaric embellishments, contemptuous passion, sinful childhood traumas, unscrupulous hobbies, vexatious caring, abominable sensitivity, reprehensible humor, hideous sarcasm, displeasing feelings, unpalatable confidence, offensive compassion, villainous inspiration and a devilish wit. I am quite grotesque in my imperfectness and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Shannon L. Alder

And out floated Eeyore. "Eeyore!" cried everybody. Looking very calm, very dignified, with his legs in the air, came Eeyore from beneath the bridge. "It's Eeyore!" cried Roo, terribly excited. "Is that so?" said Eeyore, getting caught up by a little eddy, and turning slowly round three times. "I wondered." "I didn't know you were playing," said Roo. "I'm not," said Eeyore. "Eeyore, what are you doing there?" said Rabbit. "I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak-tree? Wrong. Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time, and he'll always get the answer." "But, Eeyore," said Pooh in distress, "what can we--I mean, how shall we--do you think if we--" "Yes," said Eeyore. "One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh.

A.A. Milne

It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony.

Terry Pratchett

Think of it as an eight-dimensional onion.’ Justine straightened her back and gave her father an exasperated look. ‘Thanks, Dad. That’s helpful. I always think in those terms, it really helps a lot.

Peter F. Hamilton

He said, “If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site.” Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil.

Shannon L. Alder

…believing sarcasm and rude remarks kept the monsters at bay. They didn’t.

Louise Penny

A big man stood looking out the window at the night. He had a close-cropped haircut, obviously military, and wore a camouflage uniform. Pink scalp showed through his light colored hair and his thick neck glowed red. There's a stroke waiting to happen. Tara couldn't stop the irreverent thought.

D. L. Robinson Red Death

Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn?

Jonas Jonasson

I've been trying to figure that out since I met him. I've had more luck trying to smell the color nine.

Jenny Allen

Grown tall, like a ruddy weed, on his food.

Luggs

I know that you’re worried about me, but crushing my lungs isn’t going to help anyone.

Sara Massa

Any boy who'd love a sailboat-patterned, swimsuited sausage who tames rabid foxes would be wonderful. And impossible.

Fanny Britt

We just wanted to see whose dick was in yer mouth. Call it curiosity.

Jason Medina

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Sarcasm Quotes - Page 4

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