Sarcasm Quotes - Page 2

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.

Courtney Kirchoff

I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn?

Molly Ringle

I have no doubt that they'll tell you a lot of kind things about me when my back is turned. They may not have been behind the door when God passed out the pretty faces, but Heaven only knows where they were when He divided up the gratitude.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

If you are a writer and you write/understand sarcasm please be thankful to the government and the masses.Without their hard work and supreme idiotism it wouldn't have been possible.You owe them the brutal sarcasm, they've earned it!

Himmilicious

Yeah, and we could fly in on dragons and release a cloud of sugar plum fairies to tiptoe in an get the watch.

Mora Early

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.

Chris Colfer

You are a sick, sick man,” I told him.“Thank you,” Ben replied, looking modest.

Patricia Briggs

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.''And yet it is still extremely funny.

Cecelia Ahern

You’ve missed a lot of things. But mostly I think you’ve missed several opportunities to leave. Let me assist you to the door so that you won’t miss this next one.

Victoria Laurie

I understand that you don’t want to marry me,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know why, since I’m simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste.

Merrie Haskell

You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to be rid of you. Why is this?”“My gun turned back into a pumpkin.

Nenia Campbell

Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from.

Shubham Choudhary

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

B.J. Neblett

Ah, sarcasm. The final refuge of the desperate.

Ashlyn Macnamara

I could just hear my mom now, "You know those old candy cigarettes are bad for you. Next thing you know, you'll be drinking alcohol, and they'll find you dead in a ditch somewhere. I'll never be able to show my face in this town again.

K. Martin Beckner

Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.

Rachel Caine

I'm transferring Ian down to New Orleans to assist with this,” Arch said as he looked at both men. “I would send Shayne, but Anna won't let him go anywhere without her. They're still in the honeymoon phase.” He made a quote motion with his fingers. Peter and Vincent exchanged horrified looks, before Peter responded. “Please, don't put us through that torture.

Rose Wynters

What if," replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, "we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so as to shield the words from public view?

Lyndsay Faye

Dearest love, let me count the ways. Dismemberment, garroted, poisoned, drowned, named. I read that as soon as a species is named it begins its travels up the endangered list. Discovery meaning death.

Lindsay Hunter

Eisenhower and Patton, old friends and figures crucial to the Allies' upcoming success, conferred over yet another gaffe on Patton's part that could have cost him his command. Patton's head is on Ike's shoulder in gratitude, but the scene is rescued from being completely maudlin by Eisenhower's internal question as to whether Patton wears his ever-present helmet to bed.

Jean Edward Smith

Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and wishing you had a soul mate of your own. In fact, I don't think any woman will be safe until you get one.” Ian shot him an unamused look at his words.

Rose Wynters

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will.

H.M. Ward

Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.

Panic at the Disco

I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now? Because I'll save you the trouble. There's two.

Nenia Campbell

Eragon went to see the dragon for the first time since it had spoken to him. He approached apprehensively, aware now that it was an equal."Eragon.""Is that all you can say?" he snapped."Yes."His eyes widened at the unexpected reply, and he sat down ro

Christopher Paolini

Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

Robert A. Heinlein

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting.

Nenia Campbell

I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered.

Whitney G.

You must be a blast on long car rides.”“Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic.

Nenia Campbell

I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?""You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.

Cecily White

Then I wondered if that was what this was, like a Brokeback Mountain thing. We’d sleep in the same bed for a year, and finally we’d do it, but we’d never talk about it, ever, and then Ben would get married and I’d be killed in Texas.Probably not, but you can never be too careful with these things.

Bill Konigsberg

Is this the baby?" I said.Ma turned on me again."What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?

George Saunders

There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life.

Chet Williamson

Why is a man with a knife after your blood? Who sent him? I would like to write the fellow a letter of thanks!

Elizabeth Peters

Do you expect to learn anything at Shiz?” he asked. “I have already learned not to speak to strangers.” “Then I will introduce myself and we will be strangers no longer. I am Dillamond.” “I am disinclined to know you.

Gregory Maguire

Such polite manners for an armed man who was kidnapping me. Danilo could take a few lessons from him.

Robin Bridges

“Your Tim is so unmistakably a healthy extravert type. Mens stulta in corpore sano, and all that.”“Exactly,” she agreed.

John Wyndham

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.

Nicki Elson

Im.’ The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. ‘’E’s a twat.’‘Is he?’‘Yeah, ’e is. Ask Kieran.’She gave the impression that she and Kieran stood together, sane, dispassionate observers of the idiots populating Lula’s world.

Robert Galbraith

I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then getting on with their lives. What is really needed for public officials who shame themselves is ritual suicide.

George Carlin

What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking.

Ashley Elston

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?

Nenia Campbell

Here's a tip...If you leave a girl crying you're probably not doing your Don Juan routine right, asshole.

Rachel Caine

She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn’t make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO!

Gina Damico

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I note that their shoulders are trembling, and I realize that they are fighting laughter over my terrible plight. There's friendship for you.

Libba Bray

It’s not complicated and it doesn’t compare to my problem, now give me a damn cookie I think I earned it,” Jill snapped.Chris grinned like it was Christmas morning. “Yes, you did.” He brought her a cookie. “Very good, my young one. You’ve made Chris very happy with this little tidbit of information.

R.L. Mathewson

Charming. We're going to be murdered in our beds.

J Anderson Coats

Dear Producers, Something is radiating deep within me and it must be transmitted or I will implode and the world will suffer a great loss, unawares. Epic are the proportions of my soul, yet without a scope who cares am I? This is why I must but must be one of the inhabitants of MTV's "Real World." Only there, burning brightly into a million dazzled eyes, will my as yet uncontoured self assume the beauteous forms that are not just its own, but an entire market niche's, due. I am a Kirk Cameron-Kurt Cobain figure, roguishly quirky, dandified but down to earth, kooky but comprehensible; denizen of the growing penumbra between alternative and mainstream culture; angsty prophet of the already bygone apocalypse, yet upbeat, stylish and sexy!Oscar Wilde wrote, "Good artists exist in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are. A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating... [they] live the poetry [they] cannot write." As with Dorian Gray, life is my art! Oh MTV, take me, make me, wake me from my formless slumbers and place me in the dreamy Real World of target marketing.

Dave Eggers

Sarcasm is wasted on those who haven’t had a decent night’s sleep, my darling.

Tracy Guzeman

Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know.

Elizabeth Peters

If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will.

Elizabeth Peters

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.

K. Martin Beckner

I'm good. And it's good to see you've kept up the tradition of getting the holy shit beat out of you,even when you're in a nice, civilized place.

Rachel Caine

And her dumplings were so light they would float in the air and you'd have to catch 'em to eat 'em.

Fannie Flagg

It is most remarkable that Lincoln, when he saw so much that was vulnerable in the leadership of the Church, did not move to the opposite error and become a scoffer.

Elton Trueblood

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. 'We spent one night together.''You had sex then?''No we crocheted a quilt.' I cocked my head to side and gave him my nastiest glare." Lorelei Preston to Agent Brody-The Wild Hunt

Ashley Jeffery

There are a few things that even sarcasm can't protect you from.

Diana Peterfreund

At the last moment, Kellan swerved around him, quickly leaving the zombie behind. “Why didn't you just hit him?” Jayden asked, turning to look behind us as we sped away. I did, too. The zombie spun around as he immediately started to follow us. “I didn't want to mess up my paint job,” Kellan sarcastically replied as he turned on the street that would lead us to the store. “Plus, I just washed it.

Rose Wynters

Julio was willing to bet that Officer "I've Seen It All" Mac had never seen a horde of black-skinned demons wearing rags and armor and carrying swords and spears, dragging a naked woman and a chubby boy by a rope. No, he was willing to bet his left nut that even officer Mac had never seen such a thing.

Brom

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 15 Next

Sarcasm Quotes - Page 2

Related Topics