Sarcasm Quotes - Page 10

As my laughter faded, he shot me an amused glance. "You should laugh more often. It's far less nauseating than your speaking voice." "That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me." "Don't let it go to your head.

Cecily White

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?""Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are.""What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?""Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies.

Cassandra Clare

Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.

Bryant McGill

Sometimes, I think, that in the mornings when you first wake up, every thing that happened in the previous day rushes through our mind so fast, we, A: Don't realize it. B: Become more tired, die a little inside, and become groggy. Since everyday, we die a little inside we age closer and closer to death. We constantly grow older, and we're constantly dying. Therefore, don't wake me up early, or I'll take it that you wanted to kill me.

Melanie Kay Taylor

All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?”“I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy.

Nenia Campbell

I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.

Nenia Campbell

Murderous thieves make their home here." She failed to keep the tremor from her voice. "Absolutely," Jonas replied."Dangerous animals too.""Without a doubt."She slanted a look toward him. "Perfect place for you."He repressed a snort. "Oh, such compliments, your highness. You're going to make me blush.

Morgan Rhodes

Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?"... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!

George Huang

In the meantime, I’ll get a job. I’ll pay my own way.” “A job?” “Mmm, yeah. It’s that thing people do to make money.

Kelley Armstrong

Lord Ironman, please play tonsil hockey with me, just this one time. There, does that make you happy?

Mercy Celeste

The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform friends that, like, 'rain sucks!' But there's no app for a bourbon buzz on a warm day in a cool, dark bar. The world will always want a drink.

Gillian Flynn

What I find predictable is crazy people's ability to predict that unpredictable people can be predicted by their consistent unpredictable behavior, thus making all crazy people predictable when the world says they are unpredictable. Therefore, I must be “right” because I can predict crazy because I have been trained in the unpredictable nature of consistent craziness because I am crazy.

Shannon L. Alder

So does anyone have a good survival strategy, or is there no hope for getting out of this nightmare?’ asks the Colonel.‘We came up with a big, fat zero. I don’t know how we’re going to survive the blood hunt,’ says Dee.‘That wasn’t the nightmare I was referring to,’ says the Colonel. ‘Death by stupid comments is what I was talking about.

Susan Ee

She tapped out a beat on the edge of the piano as I tripped and plummeted through the refrain of “Spacebar,” trying to translate the synth chords into a piano bit on the fly. It had been a million years since I’d played it.But it was still catchy.Whoever had written this song had known what they were doing.

Maggie Stiefvater

Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter.

Vann Chow

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.

Aniruddha Sastikar

..her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a scratch lurking in it.

Henry James

I don’t get you people. You watch the Godfather on television and tons of people are getting shot and stabbed to death, blood splattering everywhere and it is entertaining. But, when they killed a horse, people were outraged.

Mario Stinger

Having your own church doesn't make you a good guy. It only makes you tax-exempt.

Lisa Kleypas

No more shooting from anyone. Or I am going to get seriously cranky with everyone. Suddenly, and violently and all over the place.

Simon R. Green

I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.

Sol Luckman

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they'd stolen it from the Native Americans in the first place, I suppose they couldn't grumble. Once some debts had been wiped and estate agents had taken their commission, Napoleon's France ended up pocketing a little more than $8 million. Which is about how much it cost Pepsi Cola to secure the services of Britney Spears. Times have changed.

Dave Gorman

If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.

Meghan (Apriceno) Carr

...So we passed, handcuffed and in silence, through the streets of Washington, through the Captial of a nation, whose theory of government, we are told, rests on the foundation of man's inalienable right to life, LIBERTY, and the pursuit of happiness! Hail! Columbia, happy land, indeed!

Solomon Northup

... And I wondered if we had disappointed God so much, that he wrote us off as pets, just alive to entertain.

Bethany Brookbank

Because we don't really sparkle.

John G. Hartness

Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me. God I hated being popular.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all.

Richelle E. Goodrich

-I am alergic to these flowers.-I know.

Non know

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

Jasper Fforde

Knives and candlelight,” he said, “how romantic.

Nenia Campbell

I bet she thought she was getting into a fight with a vanilla wafer on roller skates but little did she know she was getting into a fight with a spider sandwich.

Andrea Portes

. . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. If indeed they are driving at anything--obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.

Robert A. Heinlein

Phones with numerical keypads worked best for dialing phone calls. Incidentally, phone calls tend to be the primary function of a phone. 'Smartphones' completely ignore these basic facts, resulting in some of the least intelligent devices I've seen yet. Oh the irony.

Ashly Lorenzana

Using love as a bait and replacing respect with ego-pampering makes you a skillful social animal; unfortunately, all kinds of animals are less evolved than human beings. Would you like to evolve?

Saurabh Sharma

At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn’t exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.

Kelly Moran

The Gay' is not infectious, the world is not coming to an end, and people are happy. Gosh, how about that.

Kelley York

Optimism: That effervescent, blindingly- bright, perky, chipper, twittering quality you want to squash out of annoying people.

Richelle E. Goodrich

You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?

Rachel Caine

A woman's weapon is her tongue.

Anthony Trollope

Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge.

Karen Quan

You are in good shape for a dead man.

Mario Stinger

I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.

Margaret Atwood

Facts are much more malleable than prejudices.

Theodore Dalrymple

It is a futile and ridiculous struggle—but then... it is human nature, I suppose, to be futile and ridiculous.

Rafael Sabatini

But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities.

Janaki Sooriyarachchi

Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.

Will Advise

Don't be ridiculous. Brussels sprouts are awful. Jail is just jail.

Mora Early

Got anything to eat?" I asked."You know where the gas station is," said my incredibly nurturing and maternal mother.

Susan Juby

What, everyone you know has been kidnapped by pirates and forced to chop octopus in a kitchen that smells like a whale's stomach?""Quite a lot of them, yes," said Trudi, who appeared to be one of those people who'd heard of sarcasm but thought it was some sort of exotic fruit like a pineapple.

Claire Fayers

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Chuck Klosterman

I'm fully aware that some of the stuff I write is going to offend people or p*ss them off. They should be fully aware that I don't really care.

Briana Blair

What’s that around your neck?” asked Emily. “It’s a golden star.” Said Reed.“What did you get it for?”“Chemistry class.”“What’s the star for?” the shadow asked, Usually stars represent a straight A student. “You get it for having greatness. But Emily doesn’t know what that is.” He said, answering the shadows question and looking at Emily. “Greatness, what’s greatness?” Emily asked, all wide eyed, and clueless looking“It’s when you do really awesome stuff, and people recognize you for it.”“Oh, no” Emily laughed .”No, I don’t know what that is.

Rumi Antoinette

It's easy to make women happier and busier. How? Buy her a talking mirror beside bitching it has to be programmed to say, "You are looking very beautiful and slimmer," at precisely every hour.

Megha Khare

It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human.

Jonathan Stroud

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

David C. Holley

Sometimes when I have the feeling like I’m almost crying, it can turn into an almost-laughing feeling.

R.J. Palacio

If only a stare can kill, I'm already a murderer.

Mary Ann Venancio

Too bad. Game over. Insert new fucking quarter.

Nenia Campbell

You know," Cecily said, "you really didn't have to throw that man through the window.""He wasn't a man," Gabriel said, scowling. "He was an Unseelie Court faerie. One of the nasty ones.""Is that why you chased him down the street?""He had no business showing images like that to a lady," Gabriel muttered, though it had to be admitted that the lady in question had hardly turned a hair, and seemed more annoyed with Gabriel for his reaction than impressed by his chivalry."And I do think it was excessive to hurl him into the canal.""He'll float."The corners of Cecily's mouth twitched. "It was very wrong.

Cassandra Clare

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Sarcasm Quotes - Page 10

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